I'm "punishing" my kids by making them eat health b/c I am on a diet?

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  • I was raised with the most unhealthy eating habits I think possible. Even at my worst as a adult (off plan, eating without thought) I eat healthier than my parents. My husband and I have 2 children, (3 and 10 mons) and we want to raise them with healthy eating habits.

    My 3 year old is a picky eater, and my parents have been relentless on offering him "good tasting food". Breakfast for example, they say I should offer him buttermilk pancakes, with butter and syrup, and bacon. Grrr! I just want to scream "Gee no wonder I was obese at like 6 years old!!"

    They make me feel like I am "punishing" my kids with healthy food just because I am eating healthy to lose weight. That's ridiculous. There are plenty of households that eat healthy. But my parents have always looked at people who eat health as obsessed and not "enjoying their life". My dad says he eats like he does because he wants to "enjoy his life". Ironically, I don't see him being alive for many more years because of his poor diet.

    But I've talked to other parents, and they say just keep offering him what you eat. And today, I gave my 10 month old strawberries and eggs (I use non-stick spray and don't drown the eggs in butter and salt like my parents have suggested) Well, when my 3 year old saw his brother eating them, he ate them!! This is monumental, as I have been naturally tempted to add butter, salt, syrup and other unhealthy things to his food to "make it taste good" as I was raised that things don't taste good unless smoothered in something else and that's why he's not eating some of the foods I offer.

    I am just so happy!! It IS possible to teach your kids to eat healthy, and it IS okay not to have bacon be a staple food in the house. When a child is a picky eater, it does not mean you need to feed them french fries, potato chips, bacon, cake, and other unhealthy foods to get them to eat! (As my parents keep saying) They feel if you offer a kid a piece of fruit and they say they want potato chips instead, then you give them the chips, because that's what they want. And if you tell them "no, if you are hungry for a snack you can have a piece of fruit, not the chips" then you are depriving them.

    Well, I don't even keep chips in the house, so HA! (to my parents!)
  • Good for you... I wish I could get my picky eater to eat what I eat. But, I don't want to fight my way through every meal. Some nights I am making 4 meals for 4 different people in my family. I have a very picky eater, then a 3 year old that will eat some of my food, my husband thinks it isnt real meat unless it is beef, and my dinner. At least my husband is traveling this week so I have a bit of a break.

    It's been very difficult with my picky eater. She has an active gag reflex and pukes if I force her to eat something she doesn't want. I do my best to get the few fruits and veggies she will eat into her... the best I can say is that hopefully she'll grow out of it and at least I am setting a good example by what I eat.
  • Don't worry too much about the grandparents -- Stick with it and keep offering healthy variety.

    GL!
    A.
  • Kids will develop tastes for the food that's given to them. We were never allowed to have sugary cereals (meaning pretty much only Total, Life, and Honey Nut Cheerios), Chef Boyardee, Kid Cuisine, or any of the other frozen high sodium packaged products growing up. Mostly whole foods is what I grew up with and it's what I as a kid developed a taste for. I never knew anything else, so how could I want it?

    I'm grateful my parents gave me wholesome foods growing up (including of course the occasional sweets and desserts, nothing wrong with that) and I'm sure your kids one day will thank you too
  • If you think it is hard when your parents are bugging you about feeding your child healthy foods, just wait until your child is old enough to have a fit about it LOL My youngest and oldest will gladly choose fruit over junk most days of the week, but when I tell my middle child that his choice of fruit is the evening snack, he acts as though someone has stuck a knife in his side. Seriously. Every day.

    I just wouldn't discuss food with your parents. If they make him a Sunday breakfast of pancakes and bacon every so often, don't sweat it.

    They say if you never add salt, sugar, butter to toddlers food, they learn to love the foods as they were meant to be, so you are doing good Mama!
  • Be sure and give the children whole milk only. No skim milk,1% or 2%. They need the butterfat for the development of their brain and nervous system.
    And cook their scrambled eggs in butter or margarine also. They need fat in their diet to grow properly.
    And use iodized salt.
  • I don't believe in good food/bad foods. There's nothing wrong with a portion of pancakes, a portion of syrup, a portion of bacon. And them serving you that isn't what made you fat. I think it's their equating enjoying life with eating that you're having a problem with and the fact that it's equated as pampering yourself. Pancakes and bacon are fine in moderation especially when you make them with wholesome ingredients. It's the mindset you inherited that's bugging you, I think.

    You do need to make sure they get enough to eat so they get their calories. Kids need lots of calories to grow and really shouldn't be restricted from carbohydrates, protein, fats or calories. An egg and strawberries are a fine breakfast for adults but I prefer to see some complex carbs(whole grains are best) in there for staying power when we're talking about kids. It's really about balance. Balancing a diet is about eating enjoyably and healthfully. You don't want your kids thinking syrup is the devil, it can be fine for you (especially maple syrup) if eaten in moderation and balanced with protein, carbs, and fats. It's the excess you want to remove like eating candy or sweets frequently but allow for moderate amounts of the yummy stuff sometimes too b/c being healthy isn't a punishment. You can have your cake and eat it too, if you're willing to exercise to make sure it doesn't make you unhealthy.
  • My boy is not even 10 months yet and his favourite foods are plain tomatoes, avocados, bananas, and whole wheat toast! I think kids, given a chance, will actually love healthy foods. Put a bowl of strawberries in front of a group of kids and they'll be excited - it doesn't always have to be chips

    Everything we (mothers) do is wrong to someone else. I get flack for my son not being completely on cow's milk right now from older relatives (WHO guidelines state breast or formula exclusively until 2 years), so what can you do but shrug it off? Good job!
  • Also I don't see the OP as serving any kind of diet food to her kids, just not globs of butter, syrup and salt. I feel like her rant is turning into another lecture
  • It think its great that you care so much about what your kids eat, its a great victory to know that you can find healthy alternatives. We need to eat to live not live to eat and I think that, that is as simple as it gets and your parents, just don't understand it.
  • Quote: An egg and strawberries are a fine breakfast for adults but I prefer to see some complex carbs(whole grains are best) in there for staying power when we're talking about kids.
    I think the egg and strawberries started out as breakfast for the 10-month-old, who is probably very new at eating, and the usually picky 3-year-old joined in. Anyway, I don't think most kids have a problem getting in their daily grains, protein, dairy, and fruits/veg are more of a problem with my picky eater.

    My picky eater only eats breakfast about half of the time. I encourage him to have something small, a piece of fruit, a piece of cheese, a waffle, but I don't worry about it too much because they have a morning snack about 1-1/2 hours after school begins. A couple weeks ago, he went to the school office with a bellyache. He came home and said "Mom, pears are bad for breakfast." What????? The secretary asked what he ate for breakfast, when he said a pear, she told him pears were not good for breakfast; he needed more. Good thing it wasn't a no breakfast day for him! I see nothing wrong with just fruit for breakfast especially if you are a light morning eater.

    Yes, it is definately annoying to have anyone give unsolicited advice on what your feed your children.
  • I think you are setting a good example of healthy eating habits for your children.
  • My boyfriends 4 yr old used tolive off chicken nuggets, sausage rolls andsweets before I started taking action!I can't control what her mum and grandparents give her to eat, but when she stays with us we prepare meals together, and she lays the table so we can eat as a family. She knows that we have meat, 3 veg and boiled potatoes on a friday and she has started giving me some input on the veg she wants. She loves carrots so we have them all the time (just so there is something familiar on her plate) and then she chooses the other 2. I put them in seperate plate on the dinner table and that means that she can help herself to some more if shes still hungry.

    We always make dessert together too. Sometimes we treat ourselves and make WW mini chocolate chip cookies or follow a low fat fairy cake recipe, but generally we have some fruit or sugar free jelly. I think its important to show children that food should be bright and colourful, junk food seems to be all the same colour! And kids should be able to express themselves. Grace HATES sprouts, and after her grandma tried to force feed one to her at christmas she was sick. But if her grandma had just stuck them on the table and said help yourself, I'm sure grace wouldn't have had so much trauma. She loves cabbage so theres no reason why she couldn't have liked sprouts.

    We find that if she "chooses" to put something in her mouth she generally finds its quite nice. If I dish her plate up and force it down her she doesn't enjoy her food and associates anything new on that plate as "bad". Its all about the environment you feed your children in.
  • Just pears is not enough for a child. You are loading him with carbs. Would he eat a flavored yogurt with pear stirred in?
  • I had the exact opposite problem.... I always wanted fast food and my dd didn't! She has always chose to eat healthy -which is weird to me. Her normal breakfasts have always been fruit, oatmeal, hm pancakes, or organic cereals. 1 time a month she will eat bacon.... she doesn't care for hamburgers or fried chicken the way most kids do when we go to a drive through she use to always order chicken dry with nothing.... she won't touch a potato unless it's in soup... no french fries! Her dinner tonight is interesting she requested, an apple, celery, carrots and cheese... interesting combo right... I guess I could learn alot from my little girl