Morning ladies, and happy Monday! I know most of you are still in Sunday, but it’s unfortunately time to get back to work for me here, eheh…

I’m sooo sleepy!!! That gokon thing last night ended suuuper late; I got home at 1am and plopped on my bed and fell asleep without removing my make-up. It was ok, but my level of Japanese wasn’t good enough for me to follow the conversations, especially after 11pm!! lol. plus the guys were kinda unattractive, haha. And they were kinda older than what I’m used to… although they were all around my age or a bit older, so I guess it’s kinda sad!!! Haha. 1 of them was sorta my type but he was sitting way at the other end of the table so I didn’t really get to talk to him. oh, and the food was super yum and there was a LOT of it! so I think I may have overeaten a bit… but the good thing was that there were NO carbs. It was a lot of salads and sashimi and broths… a few fried things… I think I should be ok though. I ate really slowly and I never felt “stuffed” like I ate too much. Anyways.

Oh and before that, one of the guys I’d met last night mailed me that he wanted to hang out a little before he had to go to work, so we went for a drive and then he took me to see the ocean and we walked on the beach and it was like super romantic and stuff!! This is so weird, but I think I like him!! he’s really sweet! And I don’t go for sweet, I usually go for hot jerk! Lol, we’ll see where this goes…

Now on to personals…

Sweet, yeah, that’s my forever glum friend! See how skinny she is?!

Miz, which ones? Lol. the guys I met on Saturday night were cute. the guys from the gokon were not. Lol. man, your trainer sounds really lame. I would complain to the company or something that she’s been pulling stunts like that on you. good luck with the online dating stuff… I’ve never had much luck with “proper” dating websites, although I met a few guys off a “foreign exchange” site for people in japan, haha… aww, sorry to hear you haven't lost more but a loss is a loss! so yay

Krampus, big hugs, I’m sorry that you feel you can’t get things under control… hopefully you’ll feel better soon!

The weather today is perfectly reflective of my moods: cool, dark and rainy. I weighed this morning; I was up 4 lbs from Friday morning and I know at least some of that is real. Today at work we have to clean the freezing hallways for two hours and then sit and watch graduation rehearsal for the entire afternoon. There is cake sitting in the office staring me in the face. I had one piece (probably about 30 calories, these are TINY invididually wrapped pieces). I want to hold off until everyone else eats the rest.

I haven't felt this sh!tty in a long time - let's hope it doesn't last long. I can already feel my muscles contracting nervously thinking about more cake.

kawaii it sounds like you had a lot fun! it also sounds like you have lots of good opportunities for dating!

It's still sunday for me, and will be for the next 10 hours, but Sunday is kind of my beginning of the week, work week anyway. Hopefully this week will be better for me than last week. I felt exhausted all week, working 6 days, with 4 weddings, whew! I've only got 2 this week, so it won't be too hectic, hopefully!

Kawaii - Awww I want you to marry this guy! How presh is that!?

Krampy - Sorry you're have a shi-tastic day. You can drop those 4 easily & you know it. The cake isn't worth another pound.

jmko - What do you do? 4 weddings?

Just finished day 3 of 30DS. I hate Jillian. Watching old episodes of TBL is really motivating me. Fifteen days til California & REAL Mexican food. Fifteen days. I can do it! 165!

madison I'm a wedding planner. Fun, but stressful!

krampus cake is not your friend!

Hello everyone! Down to 201.2 this morning after my body holding onto 203 most of this last week. It's TOM but I've got two new workout videos and ready to slide into Onderland!

JMKO - how fun!! I'm a photographer & just booked my first wedding! I'm gonna be a second shooter in some upcoming weddings to get some practice

UGHHH I'm irritable! It probably has a lot to do with the fact that I will be up all night because we are getting some severe weather here and we live in a double wide home and aren't able to stay in it if we get severe weather (such as tornadoes and such!)..so what do I do? Pack everything up and head over to my dads (luckily he lives right next door!)...

On a positive note, weight was down this morning 142.2 (yey!)..I'm hoping for it to be down in the morning but didn't get a workout today so I dont know. I hope everyone is doing well TTYL.

I feel kind of like a jerk butting in on the thread without getting to know any of you, so Hi!

Today was a decent day, felt hungry all day and when I got home from work my mom tempted me with chocolate, which turned my whole day to complete ****. A coconut nest, a "fun size" baby ruth, 3 spoonfuls of Nutella and 6 peeps. No bueno Boyfriend did make a pretty healthy dinner for us though, save the white rice.

Hi Laneyy! Where in the HV are you? I'm from Albany but I went to college in Poughkeepsie. That doesn't sound like too bad a slipup.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH cakes. I can stay within my calories but it seems today will be another lovely day of "half of what I've eaten was junk food."

Kawaii Wow - your friend is super pretty.... I know everyone judges themselves differently but hopefully she can gain more self confidence. I think the guys would swarm her - but it must be the "pity me" aura she emits which is prob why they don't approach her! Yay for the romantic date - sounds like a movie cliche ("I enjoy nice, long walks on the beach").

Miz Sorry you didn't lose the 4 lbs that you wanted but at least it was a drop and not a gain/maintained. May be a slow/longer process but so far the trend is down

I had a lot of fun at the ranch today. Makes me want my horsies even more now! Pretty much all the people there were older/quite a bit older than me but oh well. I exchanged numbers with a couple of them and one is interested in taking some lessons with me and her & another lady would like to do some trail riding! Today (and yesterday since I was cranky) was a break from exercising so back to the grunge of things tomorrow!

Kawaii Sounds like it was fun anyway, too bad about the lack of eligible men - but then again, sounds like you don't really need anymore at the moment - the new guy sounds sweet! I'm sleepy today as well - but that isn't exactly a new thing for me haha!

krampus Your day sounds kind of boring. And with the food stuff...I guess at least you're within calories? I keep trying to tell myself that...but every day I think about vegetables and the fact they haven't featured significantly in a meal for about a week or so...not good.

jmko Wedding planning does sound exhausting! Hope this week is good!

Madison Good luck with your California goal!

lostangel Woooo onederland should be so soon for you!

JL Sorry about the weather - also don't mean to sound stupid, but what is a double wide house? Congrats on the weigh in - you are seriously doing so well!

Laneyy Hey there! At least your dinner was healthy. Did your mum actually purposefully tempt you with chocolate?

Sweet Glad to hear you enjoyed yourself at the ranch!

~Bleh. My weight is all over the place. And when I say all over the place, I mean hovering between 138.6/139.9/141 (the last number I don't want to see again plzzzz). I don't know what the deal is. I mean I say that...and it's half true. A lot of my calories have been complete crap. Yesterday I ate my usual cereal for breakfast, egg english muffin for lunch and then dinner was a personal sized spinach/mushroom/feta/olives pizza. That spinach is the greenest thing I've eaten in days (lettuce on a KFC burger DOES NOT COUNT).
I don't know if it's sodium, or just the fact the calories aren't coming from the best places, but I want to lose and at the moment it's just not happening.
For the past week I've actually just been considering calling it a day...I'm the smallest I've been in my adult life so why not just stop now? I feel like maintaining here would be a lot easier, but I also feel like I want to see if I can get smaller - I just seem to at the moment have a mental and physical block. Like... I've never ever been under 60 kilograms... not since I can ever remember weighing myself. Even now at 62.9/63/63.5/64 kg (whatever I actually weigh) I'm a lower number than I ever remember seeing. But I know it's not about numbers. I want a smaller stomach and thighs and it must be possible for these things to happen...but at the moment it's kind of like... unknown territory, so I kind of feel like I don't know if it's possible for my body to be smaller?
This week...I have my fingers crossed for at least one of the 18+ jobs I've applied for to contact me for at least an interview...I am getting super sick of applying and applying and hearing nothing.

Sweet Yay I'm glad you had your horseback riding! It must have been so nice to get back out into nature among animals- so spiritually refreshing.

Kawaii congrats on the romantic beach ride! I'm a sucker for nice guys so I hope this one works out for ya

JLNichols wow kudos for the loss! Sorry to hear about the stormy weather- hope everyone is safe and such there. Lucky you live near your parents- I kind of miss not being near mine right now.

Laneyy welcome!! It's never butting in, it's joining, and we're happy to have you aboard. And another Nutella fan at that! (I'm a Nutella junkie...)

krampus Aw hugs to you. I'm really sorry the last few days have been a challenge. I feel like my eating comes in spurts too... I can eat really healthy for days on end, but the minute I cave and eat something "bad' (which usually means fried or processed) it's just a downward spiral from there. Still trying to figure out how to balance eating treats without letting it taint my eating for days, or more. It's a learning process

rainbow Sorry to hear about the up and down with the weight. That's so frustrating. It could be the clean-ness of your food and the sodium combined. My weight goes a little haywire when I eat fast food or 'heavy' foods- egg muffin, pizza, etc. That said, it's awesome you are thinking about calling it a day as you said, recognizing you are at a healthy place and that for you personally pushing your body right now may not be the best thing. good luck as you try to navigate through this, and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for the job applications! Hopefully something comes through soon...

--

So I'm having two problems related to the morning these days: a) waking up still feeling tired even after 7-8 hours of sleep and b) waking up with bad heartburn. I've always had to get LOTS of sleep (at least 8 hours) to feel good in the morning, but these days I must not be sleeping very well during those 8 hours because I'm so tired in the morning. Any thoughts?

I was diagnosed with acid reflux a few years ago and it definitely comes and goes. These days it's definitely been intense in the morning, where I have to drink water the second I wake up to keep the acid at bay. That's why I'm drinking Slim Fast every morning- it's the only thing I can stomach. Does anyone else have acid reflux at all, or recommendations?

Now that I'm trying my two 'morning problems' out I'm wondering if they are related... ?

Happy Monday all

indiblue The thing about me calling it a day...is that I shouldn't be. I am by no means at a healthy place - healthier than I was, yes, but not healthy, nor am I at what I would consider a healthy weight for my body. I still have a LOT of excess fat and I am not exaggerating. I know I need to exercise a lot more than I am, and I also need to work on better foods - and who knows, maybe just doing that will make the difference - but it's making that step and making those changes that I'm having trouble with at the moment. I feel like it would be a lot easier if I lived alone or at least out of a home where I'm not in control of every single meal. I'm sorry about your acid reflux...sounds horrible, and I don't really have any advice unfortunately. The tiredness - are you getting enough good nutrients and vitamins? I know I'm tired EVERY single morning, regardless of the time I go to bed or when I wake up (unless I go to bed around 11/12pm and can wake up between 9-10am, those times seem to work for me) - and I'm pretty sure it has to do with me not having enough proper nutrition...just a thought.

Woops, posted this on the old thread, then realized it was a new week!

"Ooohh Krampus, I am sending you a hug from way over here in the U.S. I just read your blog post for today. I SO feel for you!! I don't know where I picked up those weird thought processes either. All we can do is try to work through them, and be patient.

I don't know if this will help, but while I am getting through my temporary stressful life events, (and subsequently feeling rather fat and off track), I've been repeating a mantra. Today I repeated it to myself during savasana (last pose in yoga, laying flat on your back, perfectly still, ultimately with a quiet and calm mind).

"You are strong. You are smart. You are capable. You are worth it."

Each time I started to think about work, my apartment, my weight, what I ate today, how skinny the lady next to me was, I stopped---- and repeated it over and over again until my heartbeats came down and I remembered that it was the truth."