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Old 02-01-2011, 11:20 PM   #1  
The cake is a lie
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Default Guilt after a higher calorie meal?

I am still relatively new to this whole calorie counting thing (about four weeks in) and I am having trouble not feeling guilty about all I am eating.

Tonight, I had a higher calorie dinner than normal, about 550 calories total. I am still under my goal but I feel so guilty.

Most of the diets I have tried left me feeling deprived and counting calories doesn't make me feel like that.

Does it just take awhile to get used to?

I guess what I am saying is that I feel guilty because I don't feel like I am starving myself.

Does that make sense?
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Old 02-01-2011, 11:22 PM   #2  
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I think the fact that you don't feel like you're starving yourself means you're doing it exactly right!!
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Old 02-01-2011, 11:28 PM   #3  
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I'm glad you asked this, because I was having the same doubts! Whenever I get too close to my daily calorie allowance I start to worry I'm doing something wrong.
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Old 02-01-2011, 11:40 PM   #4  
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That is what I love about calorie counting. You don't have to starve yourself. It's just about cutting out some of the extras and making sure your body gets what it really needs to be nurished but lose weight too.
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Old 02-01-2011, 11:40 PM   #5  
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Well most of my meals are within 300-600 calories and If your under your daily calories you shouldn't feel guilty! That's awesome! Calorie counting isn't like most diets, I don't even consider it a diet, because I eat anything I want I just use portion control and count the calories. Counting calories is teaching me to eat more often and way better.
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Old 02-01-2011, 11:48 PM   #6  
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Vanny, I think you are right. I shouldn't be considering it a diet. I am in this for the long haul.
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Old 02-02-2011, 12:20 AM   #7  
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Oh my, yes! I definitely feel the guilt after eating an on-plan, but higher-calorie meal.

I'm actively trying to stop the guilt and will occasionally make a concerted effort to include a calorie-dense meal in my daily plan. I want to enjoy food, not see it as a source of guilt or stress. Training myself to accommodate a higher-calorie meal once in a while is important to keeping a healthy attitude toward food, I feel.

To this day, I sometimes go over my calories for the day and think, "Wow, I'm not hungry and everything was tasty; I must have miscalculated somewhere!" It's a bit saddening to realize just how many years were wasted with diets that felt so much like punishment that I took that deprivation as normal.

I now feel guilty at the absence of misery sometimes.

By the way, your profile pic looks awesome--love the flippy hair!
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Old 02-02-2011, 12:41 AM   #8  
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I felt the same way when i started. i think i posted the same thread a couple months back haha. To me before, being on diet means you should never have that "full" feeling. Even if i just ate a big salad i felt so guilty! Well snooping thru this site and seeing what other ladies were eating and still losing i decided to give it a chance. It really came down to after eating the same thing for like a month straight, will i stay on a plan where i'm eating the same low calorie safe foods day after day? I mean really what's the worst that could happen? You don't lose or maybe gain a tiny bit that week. I tried opening my variety of healthy food and i'm still losing! So it worked for me lol Good luck!
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Old 02-02-2011, 07:36 AM   #9  
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I LOVE FOOD!!! As a matter of fact...that's how I got here!

Seriously though...I've treated myself since day 1 (Sept 6, 2010) to a CHEAT MEAL which is pretty much anything I want (pizza, jamaican food, chinese, etc..yum) once a week/bi-weekly and that meal is usually about 800 calories! My daily calories sore that day...but that's why I haven't stalled yet, have kept my body guessing, and have had consistent weight loss.

As many others have said, we are in this for the long haul...not a temporary fix, nobody can live a life of deprivation...nobody. Enjoy!
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Old 02-02-2011, 08:25 AM   #10  
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I think a lot of us think diets are "punishment" for being fat. We believe what the media reinforces: that fat people are bad people--lazy, weak-willed, self-indulgent slobs, and that fat is the physical sign of God's displeasure towards you for being such a lousy human being.

Under that view, diets have to be painful, because it's atonement, it's payment. The more painful it is, the more effective it is.

This attitude kept me fat for years. I would go on VLC diets because hey, more punishment is better, right? Get it over with. Then I would lose a bunch of weight until I "broke"--usually about 6 months, because I am pretty tough, and when I broke, I'd take it as more evidence that I was weak and pathetic and needed even more punishment.

It was only when I learned to look at the fat as the biologic result of consuming more calories than I consumed, and at dieting as the simple matter of eating fewer, that I was able to diet in a sustainable way. Moderate calorie restriction and a plan I could stay on easily made all the difference. Instead of thinking "what's the LEAST I can stand to eat?" I started to think "what's the MOST I can eat and still lose weight?"

Suffering and punishing myself got me to 300 lbs. Eating as much as I could while still losing took off 140--120 in a year.
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Old 02-02-2011, 09:04 AM   #11  
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THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^!!!!!! I wish there was a "like" button I could click!
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Old 02-02-2011, 10:18 AM   #12  
The cake is a lie
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Schmead, that was a wonderful take on dieting and weight loss. Unfortunately, you hit the nail right on the head. It does seems like I feel that I should be punished for being fat.

I guess that comes from too many years of hearing "No pain, no gain."
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Old 02-02-2011, 10:19 AM   #13  
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After almost a year of calorie counting, I still struggle with these feelings at times. Actually, I'm going through a bit of a phase right now where these feelings have multiplied! I keep having to affirm to myself that eating under my calories is not "good" and eating at or above (occasionally) is not "bad." Food is not a moral issue - even though it feels that way sometimes.

It doesn't help that my online calorie tracker, which I otherwise love, has a bar graph which shows me where my calories fall for the day. I get this big feeling of affirmation from being under the line, and this feeling of failure if I'm over the line - and then my bar graph turns red! Yikes!

It's something I'm working on, with positive self-talk and constant acknowledgment that I'm NOT failing at weight loss, and I can eat my allotted calories without fear.
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