My brother is going to turn 11 in February. He has a severe anger problem, and his teachers have told my mother that he may have ADD (what kid doesn't, though). Anyway, my problem lies in what happened the other day:

My husband was playing a video game with him when they had a disagreement (hubby thought brother was cheating) which resulted in hubby turning brother's 360 off. Anyway, brother gets EXTREMELY mad, yells at hubby to go home (which he does), and so brother is storming around the house screaming at everyone who even tries to talk to him... that's when it happened. He stomps to the kitchen, swings the cabinet door open, and yanks out a packet of little debbie swiss rolls and then stomps off.

Now, I know he wasn't hungry. He had just asked me why hubby turned his game off which I responded "Hubby said you were cheating." So, he's like "You believe him over me?" I reply "Yes" because hubby has no reason to lie about anything.

What I'm worried about is that my brother may be emotional eating (something I STILL do, and it's sooo very hard to control). I don't want him to start doing this.

What do you think? Sorry if this is jumbled. I'm just worried. I know I may have made it worse with my response, but I pretty much have the same temper as he does.

Um, isn't it kind of extreme for hubby to just turn it off? How about say "I'm done playing" and just get up and go... I think turning off the 360 can be a bit much. My sister used to do this and it DID piss people off.

I also wouldn't just jump to conclusions and say you don't believe him- cuz what if he wasn't cheating- I don't see how you can cheat on a video game. And if you don't play the game (my assumption) how would you know he's cheating? My husband complains to me that a game is cheating when he's losing and I just roll my eyes...

I would have said "I don't know if you were or not- I'm not taking sides but if you weren't cheating then you need to talk to him and explain that because obviously there is a misunderstanding here if you say you aren't cheating."

As for him turning to food- yeah he might be- but I think this whole situation was handled poorly and he may just need help with communication and expressing himself, but to be honest it sounds like your hubby might also.

For example:

"Hey are you cheating?"

"No."

"Well then how are you able to do this and that?"

"Explanation"

"Oh okay" OR "Wait how is that not cheating?"

Get my drift? Resolution one way or the other through communication.

Is your brother overweight? I think if these communcation issues aren't solved (and to be honest sounds like he might be feeling ganged up on by his family) then it can and will get worse. He needs to learn to communicate his feelings rather than eat them.

No he is not overweight, but he only eats junk food (seriously, he won't come near a vegetable). It wouldn't have mattered if I asked him those things, because it would have resulted in the same way (him screaming). I know, because I've tried to handle issues like this calmly before. And my husband is an AVID gamer, so, believe me, he knows if someone is cheating or not. He did admit that it was wrong to react how he did, but it still gave my brother no right to scream at everyone.

I guess you can't really understand how he reacts unless you've been around him. He is VERY spoiled. He gets anything that he wants whenever he wants, and he never has to do anything that he doesn't want to do. And, no, I am not exaggerating.

From your story it definitelly sounds like he is an emotional eater. Can he get started with a therapist or anger management class? Maybe if his emotions are in check, and he has other resources to contro his feelings he won't turn to food.

I don't know I'd say he was an emotional eater just from this incident. Kids will eat junk whenever they can.

We really have to be careful about analyzing other people's actions b/c I believe if you have a problem you can be quick to project that onto others though their actions may be benign. Emotional eating should have some sort of pattern to it. People are prone to do this occasionally as a somewhat normal behavior but it doesn't mean a problem will develop.

You can always talk to the child's counselor if they have one but I think they are going to need more information.

Thank you. Sadly, I cannot get him a therapist or anger management class. My dad wouldn't even take him to get diagnosed for ADD. I was hoping that maybe there would be something I could do (instead of keeping my mouth shut all the time and letting him always have his way so that he doesn't get upset).