I was doing okay with my weight for a while...then started gaining it back. Then my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I got my heart broken twice in rapid succession (still not over it, but what can you do), my dad died and a bunch of other things made me give up. I still don't feel much like living, but I'm tired of not fitting into my clothes. I'm tired of not going outside because I'm embarrassed about being so fat. So if I'm stuck in this life, I might as well look good.
I still haven't figured out quite how to do it. But there has to be a way. I'm not interested in giving up the foods I like, but I didn't have to the first time - I just had to stop eating so much of it whenever I was bothered by something. I wish I had some freaking self-control, but who knows, maybe I'll find some.
If all y'all can do it, maybe I have a shot too. I was getting there once...maybe I can get there again. I haven't stood on a scale in months and I don't plan on doing so for a while - I found that the higher the numbers got, the less motivation I felt for doing something about it. But I suspect I'm quite close to where I originally started.
Hey Violet
I think we all go through things that are difficult. But, isn't good that this website is helpful with networking and diet tips and recipes.
Welcome Violet. I also lost my dad when I was 15 in 2002 to multi-system cancer. He was diagnosed and then passed away 1 month later. Never really had a chance to wrap things up as the doctors gave him 6-8 months to live. I, too, turned to food and ballooned up to 215 pounds. I'm way shorter than you, I'm 5'2", so you can imagine just how bad I looked. I then went off to college and still struggled with the loss of my dad (was 2004 at that point). I continued turning to food, and also binged at college parties, late night dorm meals, fast food, dining hall crap, etc. When I graduated in 2008, I was 268 pounds!!
I'm now down to 188..and I didn't actually start THIS specific journey until Sept 2009 (11 months ago). From May 2008 to Sept 2009 I did lose about 20 pounds, so last Sept I was about 248. I started having digestive problems, and my doctor advised me that if I continued down this path of maintaining morbid obesity, I would not live a very long and full life.
Anyways, please do continue to post, and really focus on your life now. I've been in your boat, and I still am when it comes to struggling with the loss of our dads, especially to the evil thing known as cancer. It's tough on us, but I know for a fact both our dads would want us healthy, living life to the fullest and just truly being happy. We know that being unhealthy and overweight is not going to lead the happiness for us, so we're working on it!
Gaining back your confidence, pride, and love for yourself is a gift that you can still give to your dad to this day.
Violet. Sorry for the loss of your dad. It was devastating when I lost mine, but time does heal the heart in all matters
The ladies are AWESOME and have some really good advice and wonderful support.
Don't be afraid to ask for help or hugs
Hugs and Support on your journey
Starting over
If we stick to it and make it a priority in our lives it will be our last! 
Dhani 
