yup, all the time prior to this time It was always "I must lose ## amount of weight in # months"... after a few weeks I was like "not going to happen so eff it" and I gave up. The only way I have been able to get excited instead of discouraged by my progress is to get rid of the time frame. I still have ideas, like mid next summer I want to be able to wear a swimsuit and not want to cry :P but no specific frame.

I do this all the time, and it always just makes me feel worse in the long run. I know how hard it is to move on from there, but try and focus on what you *can do now* instead of what *you could have done then*.

It really is the worst feeling, though, I totally know how you feel.

Oh yeah, this is me all over.... I lost 20lbs last year, then went on vacation and gained it all back. Now i'm starting over a year later.... I realized I could have been really tiny by now if I had just stuck with it. Instead it's yet another summer feeling huge, bloated, fat and unseemly next to all the bikini girls at the pool. oh well... next summer will be different...

I used to do this, too, but honestly...I finally came to the realization that I was using this kind of thinking almost as a crutch, or as a reason to continue on in my unhealthy ways. So I have abandoned "all or nothing" thinking. There is no such thing as "throwing in the towel" or "blowing it".....there is only a series of decisions. There are good decisions and there are bad decisions; the goal is to have the good decisions outweigh the bad, and that's how progress is made.

I also have removed the time frame from all my goals. I have long range, broad goals, but for me, the whole "lose 20 pounds in 8 weeks" types of goals have always spelled disaster, because as soon as I have an off-track week I realize that I won't meet the goal and so I feel like I have failed. So now I do my best to set behavior-based goals..."I will stay on plan for this week." "I will walk my 2 mile route five times this week." These types of goals are things that I can actually control, and eventually I will see results.

Anyway, that's what works for me. So think about setting behavior based goals that are concrete. "I will lose 20 pounds over the summer" is too vague for me, because I need an ACTION list, know what I mean?

Thanks Windchime--you expressed my thoughts perfectly.
But, yeah. If I hadn't given up when I hit that plateau last year, I'd be thinner, by now. Not doing anything different, though, maybe these new habits of eating well and moving more would be better entrenched, but, really, it's all the same.

Funny you should bring this up. I was looking at vacation pictures from 2007 -- and I remember telling myself by this time next year I will have lost 60 pounds so I will look better in vacation pictures....well now it's 2010 and I actually weigh 5 pounds more than I did in 2007!!!

Now I just focus on losing 2 pounds in 7 days -- This seems to be working for me for some reason it's seems alot more obtainable???

I do this ALL the time!!! I'm trying to stop setting up such time frames and goals for myself. I'm just focusing on losing 10 pounds at a time. Not by a specific date really (I mean, I have tentative dates in mind but not strict). I just got tired of always being disappointed when I didn't lose an X amount of pounds by a certain date. Oh well, I (and many others apparently from this board lol) have to learn it the hard way but now we know not to put such pressures on ourselves!

I think we all do that. I mean, look at the date I joined this forum...2007! I'm only a couple of pounds lighter than my original start date. I'm just starting the journey again, but it is very hard to start again just thinking about all that time I have wasted. I am a huge planner when I'm trying to lose weight. I will sit down and make detailed charts of how much weight I want to lose and how long it's going to take. Then when I find the chart a year later and realize I am the same weight, it is very discouraging. Even though you didn't lose the weight like you wanted this summer, it's okay!! Just remember that another 3 months are coming up...starting right now! Just don't give up and you will get where you want to be. That's my new motto.

you all are so helpful and supportive!!! Love it!

i always think about that, but i just continue on my weight loss journey and try to not think what if...

Story of my life! Looking back and saying if I just would have started a regiment at so and so time, I'd almost be there. But that's fading as I get further now down the scale now.

Off topic, but I love in your sig the Panda Express shout out. I just discovered it's greatness right as I realized I needed to overhaul my diet. It was like a love that never came to be. lol

Been there. Done that.

Looking back, had I just stuck with it, pushed myself through it, instead of caving and giving up - my whole life would have been different.

For me, it had to be that I made a commitment to "do this" once and for all, NO MATTER WHAT and permanently. I had to learn how to push through the discomfort, that initial temporary discomfort of telling myself no, of learning and establishing new healthy habits. Because I believe that is what it is all about - developing new habits and skills. And that's hard to do. You have to require more from yourself. You have to work past the period where the sacrifices seem to be much more than the rewards. You have to challenge yourself. You have to push yourself. It is the only way to conquer and master new skills. It is how one improves upon them self. Once you establish those new habits - this gets MUCH easier. But so few of us get to that point - because we give in. And we stop. Reminds me of a quote - " go the extra mile, it's never crowded".

I had to lose the "just this once", "oh it won't harm me", "what's the big deal?" "should I/shouldn't I" mentality. That thinking always led to disaster. ALWAYS. So when that thinking would enter my mind - I HAD TO TELL MYSELF NO. "You've been there Robin and you KNOW that doesn't work." I had to stop making it an option TO *go off*. That was it - once and for all - and no matter what. I had to establish some FIRM rules. I had to basically - grow up. I was a mature, responsible adult in all other aspects of my life - time to do so with my food intake as well.

Though you can't go back and change time, you CAN change your future, by taking action TODAY and each and every day here after.

I agree. Lose the time frame. Commit to doing this. In however long it takes. No stopping. Just continuing.