HELP!

Where has my motivation gone?
In the past month, I started a new big-girl job, a Monday-to-Friday 9-5 in an office. In the past month, my long-distance boyfriend moved to Canada, and we got a place together.

In the past month, I went from the high 130s... to the high 140s. As of this morning, I am 148 lbs.

I can see where I'm going wrong. The excuses are piling up. The boyfriend is an unhealthy eater, who thinks a giant plate of spaghetti with half a pound of ground beef is "healthy," and I'm letting him drag me down with him. I'm letting his cravings for junk food give me permission to eat the same things... and I'm medicating myself with junk food at work to combat the boredom. To top it off, I've just been lazy.
When I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning to get ready and head off on an hour-long commute at 8 am... it's awfully hard to talk myself into getting up at 5:45 so I can go for a run... when I get home from work, it's been HOT outside... and when it's cooler in the evening when the sun goes down, I'm now afraid to go for runs, since I just moved to the city of Toronto. (The NYC of Canada) But I HAVE to do something...

And to make me feel just a little worse... the boyfriend joined an Irish soccer team and hasn't been working yet... so it's just been soccer. Two INTENSE practices a week, and a game on the weekends... and he's getting DEFINED. He's getting obvious 6-pack abs, and his arms and legs are getting really muscular... and I... I have gained upwards of 10 lbs, and am starting to look very pudgy in my clothes. Even my face just looks rounder.

I feel awful. I feel like crying. I need to find that motivation that I know is in there somewhere... which usually happens when I hit rock bottom, I guess. And I'm starting to feel that way, so. Maybe this is it?

Sorry to hear that you're struggling - but you can do this! Heck, you've already done it once, so you know you can do it again

Remember that you're only human - starting a new job and moving in with the BF are HUGE life changes! It's only natural that a) your focus wasn't on dieting/exercising and b) that it'll take some time to figure out new patterns and rhythms in your life.

Once you're feeling more settled, try to get back on track. You know what works for you - whether it's calorie counting, WW, whatever. 148 is not the end of the world

Smisen is so right! You have two major life changes going on right now and it will take you time to adjust. But make yourself a priority, since it sounds like your focus is more on your boyfriend than on yourself. Eating with men is a terrible influence (I have a husband and two sons -- all of them tall & big men who can eat a lot). Tune out his eating and exercise habits and tune back into yours. Could you talk your boyfriend into running with you at night so you would feel safer? Enlist his help in this. Or can you join a gym or buy a treadmill? You are a lovely girl -- don't throw away your hard work!

Jess, lady, you can do this. I know you can do this and deep down you know you can do this.

As Smisen said, you've gone through huge life changes - new job, new co-habitation - so you have to adjust.

I gained a lot of weight when I moved from college to my desk job, and I've had to lose all of this weight with a desk job. My biggest piece of advice is to plan. Bring all of your food for the day (aside from dinner) with you to work, and just space it out. Also, stretch every hour, even if its just standing up and walking around your office. I'm also a big advocate of lunch-walks. Almost every day I go for a quick 20 minute walk at lunch, then just eat at my desk. Anything to get you moving and keep you from feeling lethargic will help. And it cuts down on stress and keeps you from being (overly) bored by sitting all day.

Motivation is over-rated - just make yourself do it - set up your plan, and follow it - like its your job. My motivation is super low for the past few weeks, but I've made working out part of the schedule. Its not an option for it not to get done...

/end terrible attempt at a pep talk (but glad you're back!!)

I agree with everyone else. You'll get it back, it just takes a little adjustment. Think of your workouts positively. It's your time away from all life's stresses When you have a rough day, or feel unmotivated do a workout anyway. I always feel SO much better after it's done!
Stellarosa is so right about the food. I work behind a desk for most of the day and I bring my breakfast, snacks and lunch with me. Haha I'm actually going to bring my exercise ball with me to sit on instead of my office chair
I know how you feel. We all have those times, but being able to push through it will empower you. You can do it!

NO CRYING!

Moving in with the bf is a huge adjustment for everyone. You have had a lot o adjusting to do.

You have been an INSPIRING lady. We all know that you are capable of getting back on track and feeling every bit as beautiful as you are!

Thanks ladies.
All your kind words were incredibly appreciated, and they really helped me to feel a bit more motivated and focused.

I ate a smaller portion of dinner last night, and skipped dessert. This morning, a bit of TOM water weight had dropped off, combined with a lowER calorie day... and I was at 145.6. It's no 137, but hey... it eases my mind a little bit to think I'm not actually on the verge of the 150s I worked so hard to get out of.

I turned down going out for lunch with my department today... I had some errands to run, but mainly I just didn't want to eat out for lunch for the third time this week... my waistline clearly can't handle it! And the chocolate icing in a can that I bought for my boyfriend's birthday cake has remained IN the can, despite serious temptation to eat a spoonful.

Thanks again, having a few ladies take the time out to knock some sense into me is what I really need/needed, and it means so much to me. <3

Hey Jelbb! I haven't posted in a while but I remember you from earlier days. Hang in there! I'm the same boat of recently gaining 10ish pounds. It sucks but we can do it again! I also live in the city, downtown. How are you liking it?

I remember in 6th form (second to last year of high school) I was in the English class for the year above me and was getting around 16 or 17s out of 20s for my essays. My teacher said to my parents that it was very good, consistent and that it was about all I could expect to do, the rest was just maturity and the extra year that I didnt have behind me. I cant even tell you how much that pissed me off. Its only your limit if YOU say it is, I think you know that I went on to get 19s and 20s out of 20 after that btw And an A overall