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Old 08-24-2009, 05:18 PM   #1  
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Default Fear of reaching goal, anyone else?

For anyone out there who gets close to your goal, and wants to chicken out... what keeps you going?

A part of me is getting nervous to reach a weight I haven't seen in 15 years... is that crazy or what?? As I get closer to goal, a mixture of anxiety, disbelief, and elation is settling in. I don't want to derail myself!
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Old 08-25-2009, 06:44 AM   #2  
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I have the same fears but not so much of just reaching my goal, but of gaining the weight back. I can just imagine reaching my goal and feeling all smug and smiling in pictures and having everyone compliment me on how great I look... only to turn around one year later and have gained all the weight back. I've seen it happen to too many friends to believe it can't happen to me. I'm a stress eater and there's no way I'll be able to avoid stress in my future.

But I keep on keeping on because it feels good to lose weight now. And hopefully if I do get off track I'll have the confidence to remember that I once had the strength and knowledge to do it before.
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Old 08-25-2009, 07:50 AM   #3  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny View Post
I'm a stress eater and there's no way I'll be able to avoid stress in my future.
Well that is the truth, for sure. There is no shortage of stress in this life. So though there will always be stress, you don't need to EAT in order to soothe it. You've got to come up with other ways to deal with stress. Because eating causes waaaaay more stress then it solves, so it's not really a good solution at all. And gaining back weight - it's all about choices and decisions. As long as one makes it a priority to NOT gain it back - then they won't. It's all up to you. Come hang out at the MAintainer's Forum and you'll meet lots of people who have lost the weight and are keeping it off. It's always in our hands - to gain weight - to lose weight - to regain it - to keep it off. Always up to us.

Quote:
For anyone out there who gets close to your goal, and wants to chicken out... what keeps you going?

A part of me is getting nervous to reach a weight I haven't seen in 15 years... is that crazy or what?? As I get closer to goal, a mixture of anxiety, disbelief, and elation is settling in. I don't want to derail myself
I understand all those emotions that you are going through. You've done fabulously though, and you must have made some great changes in your life and must be feeling wonderful. Try to focus on the health benefits of what you're doing. I'm sure you didn't start this little journey with the intention of ever stopping. Just keep your eyes on the big picture. That slim, fit and healthy you. Focus on that, while your brain catches up to your body. A fit, slim healthy you. You deserve this!!!
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Old 08-25-2009, 08:11 AM   #4  
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I also worry about the pounds that i am losing, that its not real and that overnight i will gain it all back again. but trying to instead just focus on the weight i have lost and thinking i've lost it, and move onto the next target

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Old 08-25-2009, 09:00 AM   #5  
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Yeah, I worry a lot about being able to maintain. Now that I have reached my goal, I'm actually having a lot of problems trying to eat more to maintain my weight (I'm still losing a little every week, although very slowly). Psychologically, I just can't get myself to eat at my maintenance calories for the fear that I will go overboard and start to gain.
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Old 08-25-2009, 09:11 AM   #6  
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I TOTALLY get where you are coming from.. every new decade is a decade I either haven't seen for a while OR haven't STAYED in for any significant period of time. So it's like -- "oh crap! I'm 170lbs! THIS is INSANE! I'm NOT a 170lb person! It won't LAST! OMG!!! (munch munch munch)"

Sounds totally crazy but I totally understand cause I was there in the 170s and in the 160s and I'm sure it'll be the same in the 150s and so on.

I find, though, that if you can HANG ON and just get through it, after a couple of weeks the new scale number will feel NORMAL. And keep saying to yourself "Man, I AM 140 lbs" over and over and over again. It'll help!



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Old 08-25-2009, 10:59 AM   #7  
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Although reaching maintenance is a thrilling thing; it can definitely be scary! I was very anxious about being a weight I hadn't seen for 20 years.

It really helped me a lot to read over the posts in the Maintenance section. By the time you reach your goal (and you will!) you will feel more prepared.

Congratulations on all your hard work!
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Old 08-25-2009, 11:07 AM   #8  
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The thing that scares me about reaching goal is how the **** am I going to maintain it this time. I truly believe that the hardest part is keeping it off once its all lost. I have embarked on a WL journey several times with my highest weight being 287 and my lowest in my adult life being in the 170's. I think I subconciously sabotage myself at times, esp when I see a loss on the scale.
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Old 08-25-2009, 11:12 AM   #9  
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definitely a fear of regaining again. even though right now I think I want it so bad, if I got it I would do whatever it took to stay there. but you know life happens and I might think since I'm not losing it's ok to have a piece of that or not exercise today. I know slipping here and there adds up quickly and can be a fast slippery slope to right back where I was.

I worry about social situations, since some people will push food on others, and if I'm thin people might not expect me to be on a diet and push food on me even more. If I'm at a job or meet a new group of friends or when I get back into dating, will I be able to keep up with eating healthy and exercising if everyone else is eating junk? silly fears, I know... but hope I can handle things and stand my ground and not start eating junk.

so, it's not so much reaching goal, it's actually the struggle to keep it I'm scared of.
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Old 08-25-2009, 11:13 AM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KDuffer View Post
Yeah, I worry a lot about being able to maintain. Now that I have reached my goal, I'm actually having a lot of problems trying to eat more to maintain my weight (I'm still losing a little every week, although very slowly). Psychologically, I just can't get myself to eat at my maintenance calories for the fear that I will go overboard and start to gain.
WoW...you are going through EXACTLY what I'm going though. It's just so hard. Of course I don't want my previous binge eating disorder to turn into another type of eating disorder, but I am scared as ****. Even when I eat modest amounts of "regular" food I fear I will send myself into a binge and I won't see the light of day until I'm over 300 again. I reached my goal in July, but have lost about .5 lb a week since then. It is so complicated to properly maintain that I keep reverting back to losing mode because I feel safe. I keep questioning if I should go lower, and then fear the concenquences of trying to maintain even a LOWER weight....Ugh. It sucks....but in a good way!
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Old 08-25-2009, 11:14 AM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shasha17a View Post
The thing that scares me about reaching goal is how the **** am I going to maintain it this time. I truly believe that the hardest part is keeping it off once its all lost. I have embarked on a WL journey several times with my highest weight being 287 and my lowest in my adult life being in the 170's. I think I subconciously sabotage myself at times, esp when I see a loss on the scale.
You're going to keep it off, the same way that you TOOK it off. You're going to use the same good, healthy eating and exercise habits that you have begun incorporating into your life right now. That's why they call it a LIFESTYLE change. You want it off permanently? Then you're in it for LIFE. The good thing is, that you will be feeling so marvelous with yourself, you won't want anything to jeopardize it. Your new habits will be ingrained in you. It'll become just what you do, another day at the office. But of course, you will always have to eat mindfully and responsibly and with an awareness. It's easy to let bad habits creep back in - if you let it. But with an iron clad commitment to "keep it off", keep it off - you will.
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Old 08-25-2009, 02:20 PM   #12  
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im not even close to goal, but ive thought about this, lol. i think more "what am i going to do with myself?". it sounds silly, but this entire year has focused on weight loss and getting to my goal, im just not sure what i will do when i get there! what will my focus be on?
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Old 08-25-2009, 02:41 PM   #13  
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Quote:
...I fear I will send myself into a binge and I won't see the light of day until I'm over 300 again.
Maybe it boils down to a trust issue... putting myself through years of eating poorly, anger toward myself for letting my body get big and soft. I'm just starting to TRUST myself again, and TRUST myself to reach the goal & maintain it. I will start popping over to the Maintenance Forum.
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Old 08-25-2009, 05:39 PM   #14  
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Yeah, I understand all of this. I actually don't think I'll gain it back because when I decided to lose weight this time, something in my head snapped. I know it did because this is the very first time in my 34 years that I've lost weight. And the decision literally happened overnight for me. I had Pringles and soda during the day and then that night I said, "Enough!" and I joined WW Online. That was 4 months ago.

So, yeah. Gaining the weight back is not an option. HOWEVER, I do get nervous at the prospect of not letting myself down but of letting others down. All those folks who call me "Skinny" and say they are so proud of me etc etc.... Yeah, sometimes I let my mind wonder to "What if I DID gain it back? How could I show my face again??".

Also, I can totally see myself going through what other members have described...being afraid to maintain for fear of gaining. I can see myself staying in weight loss mode until I disappear. I was told that I don't look like I need to lose another 25 pounds. To me, I could probably stand to lose another 50. What if my perspective is askew? What if I keep losing and I can't (mentally) stop?

Last edited by Cali Doll; 08-25-2009 at 05:41 PM.
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Old 08-25-2009, 05:59 PM   #15  
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I'm scared about getting to goal. I'm scared about unwanted attention. I'm scared about gaining it back. I'm scared about not being able to hide behind my size. I'm scared that I'm going to have lost my main aspiration in life, that I'll have to get another hobby! I'm scared that people will treat me differently, that female friends may not want to be my friend, that male friends may want to be more than friends. I'm scared that my life will actually start. I'm scared that when I've noticeably lost and am at goal, my weight loss will be a hotbed for speculation and discussion.

It's pretty scary, but I'm more excited. Because it's going to be brilliant, it's going to change everything about my life, from the spectacularly mundane to the crucially important.
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