I seriously need someone to kick my rear in gear. I came and introduced myself to this forum about a month ago with this big idea on how everything was going to work. That lasted for about 2 weeks and it all went out the window. I have two major addictions. 1. Smoking 2. Food
So I took a look at the big picture and had the intentions of fighting both my evils at once, I mean what better way to fight off the craving for a cigarette than with exercise right? Yea, well with the kids running around it didn't quite work out that way. So I turned all my full focus to kicking my smoking habit. The good news is I've been smoke free for over 10 days (huge HUGE accomplishment for me) and I'm going strong. I really want to make it last this time. It will be so much easier to exercise if I can breath!
The bad news is, my eating has been HORRIBLE, to say the least. I just can't seem to stop myself. I have to constantly be shoveling food into my mouth all day and popcorn (oh heaven's no, not the light 94% FF stuff but the old fashion cooked in oil stuff) has been the biggest culprit. It started out being drenched in butter, but at least I made the wise decision to switch to I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray lol (as if that helps a whole lot).
I'm just very frustrated with myself at the moment. Every single day for the last week I've "started" my diet, and every single day I find myself standing there eating something horrible..poptarts, porkchops, bacon... I even ripped open a bag of chocolate chips .. how desperate must I get? No food is safe within my reach. I haven't even been grocery shopping because I know the food will run out eventually and then I'll have to stop eating.
I need to make this insanity end and I need to get control of it. So I thought what better way to start then by confessing my sins (so to speak) to all of you.
I feel so totally ashamed and I'm trying my best not to beat myself into the ground. I just don't have anyone to talk about this with here, my kids and husband just wouldn't understand and I'm feeling kind of lost and alone. So I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to read my ranting and raving.
Tomorrow is a new beginning.......



on quitting smoking...trust me...before long you will begin to see and SMELL other people that smoke and think it is disgusting...I used to smoke and I can smell stinky cigarette smoke a mile away now....YUCK!