I'm so frustrated I could scream!! I work in a very small newspaper office with two other women. One of them is the manager in charge and, to put it bluntly, HATES her job.
That by itself isn't a problem...the problem is that her overall attitude toward EVERYTHING is making me totally miserable!!! Every day she goes on and on about how the company we work for doesn't care about us, and how we're nothing to them, we're expendable and we're going downhill so fast we'll be lucky to have jobs in the next two years. This is the MANAGER, people. And if I disagree, she tries to convince me that we're worthless to the company and nothing we do will ever change that, and that nothing we do is ever good enough.
She's getting me to the point where I hate to get up and come to work in the morning. I love the JOB, itself, but she just drags everything down!
Anyone else have experience with things like this? Any advice, other than shutting my office door or putting my Ipod on and ignoring it all?
Yep - I worked with a toxic person before too. Sucks doesn't it? I finally pointed out that this was my reality (coming to work everyday) and I was going to make the best of it. I run into it a little now with another co-worker. I just smile and say "it'll be ok - cheer up" to most things she says. After awhile she quits complaining because she doesn't want to hear me. Hehehe. The Ipod sounds pretty good too. Maybe I should bring mine to work.
Seriously - toxic people will destroy you if you let them. It's up to you to tell this woman that her comments are toxic and that you simply won't hear them any more.
I used to work with someone like this. And for a while I would just nod and listen but then I started to feel like you - dreading work. Then I'd try to jolly her out of the mood and tell her to "breathe" with a smile. That didn't work.
Finally one day she started in and I pulled her aside and said very nicely that I was really sorry that she was so unhappy but that I had to be honest and that hearing her be so negative all the time was really dragging me down. I said I'd be happy to be a shoulder if she needed to vent but that I simply couldn't listen to the constant negativity - that it was beginning to affect my health, my enjoyment of my job, and how well I slept at night (so I exaggerated a little for effect).
I was never mean or rude about it ... but I was very firm. After that her whole tone changed. Yeah, she'd slip up sometimes and when she did, I'd just smile and say veryvery sweetly - I really don't want to talk about this.
I truly think some people don't realize how negative they are all the time. They get used to being in *****andcomplain mode and they don't hear themselves.
I have had one boss like this. He would come into the office after a meeting with the "higher ups" and unleash his frustration. Once he was even screaming at me and my co-worker for his perceived stupidity of HIS boss.... I know... go figure. Anyhow, my co-worker wound up in the bathroom in tears and her emotional reaction didn't seem to matter. He actually asked me if she was having any personal problems... what an idiot. So the next time he decided to rant, I listened attentively, asked for clarifications then put it back on him. Point blank, "Wow, you sound miserable. What are you going to do about it?" That actually shut him up for a couple of months. Eventually he fell back into old habits, but he kept it away from me. I guess he didn't want to be accountable for his life (and we were both accountants.. go figure). He sure didn't like having it put back on him. My co-worker wound up getting herself transferred. My boss eventually got canned. But the twist here is that much of what he had ranted about turned out to be true. The company was re-structuring and his position was eliminated (along with most of middle management). So just be prepared because there may be truth in what your boss is saying. Hang in there.
I always compliment people like this. It seems counterintuitive, I know, but every time people go all crazy with the negativity I'll compliment something random.
"I like your hair." "Are those shoes new? They're cute." "Nice tie." Etc.
It really throws them off, and eventually they just stop talking to me.
I transferred to a very negative department about 5 months ago. Seems that the higher up in this company I go, the more of a downer the people are. I'm actually at the stage right now where I'm just like "Oh... that does suck." But I don't want to turn into a negative person... maybe I need to start randomly complimenting people to keep the tone light. I mean, the job isn't great. No one went to school to do what we do, but it's a job and if we can all be a little happier to each other while simply getting the job done, it makes it all the more pleasant
Waaaaay OT...negative people...
