How is it possible that I can look perfectly fine in my own mirror at home, and look sooooo gawd awful in a million dressing room mirrors? Is there more than one me??? The okay me and then the pasty, ugly and flabby me? Do dressing room mirrors somehow connect to wormholes which reveal other dimensions in the universe where I appear (because of the increased gravity of course) at least 10 lbs heavier???

LOL, as you can see, I went shopping today. Bathing suit shopping... and I am so thoroughly depressed now. I woke up this morning and I felt great, I went to the gym and checked myself out in the mirror and thought I looked pretty decent... but then it all got shot into a million pieces. I hate this time of year. My husband doesn't understand what it's like to be an overweight girl going bathing suit shopping. It's like going to war, where it's you against the mirror and your own psyche.

I really need help finding a bathingsuit that hides my thighs. My stomach isn't even that bad... it never has been. But my thighs are like two jiggly hams sitting side by side, and no matter what bathing suit I put on, I could see them bulging out in all the wrong places.

I am so excited about my cruise coming up in May, and I really just want to feel comfortable. How can I relax at the beach if I am always afraid of who's looking at me... AND who my HUSBAND might be looking AT.

SORRY, I just needed to get that out.

I have the exact problem! I am conviced that it is partially due to me thinking about it before I walk into the store. I am already worrying about it so it is in the front of my mind. I also think that it is from the overhead lighting. The lights are directly above you and have very little ambient light. It is just straight down like a spotlight. Sooo... every part on my body that sticks out or ripples casts a shadow right below it making each imperfection magnified what seems like 100x.

I think you should be comfortable with who you are no matter what weight you are. People on the beach won't care if you have great American thunder thighs or even cottage cheese thighs. No one on the cruise will care either. My husband always says it's about the attitude, not the actual outward "looks". Be confident, be fabulous and enjoy every inch of your body. Know when you go to the pool on the cruise or to the beach that you are stunning. Project confidence.
Don't worry about your hubby looking at others...that is natural, don't you look at others? Just try to practice not judging others, especially not based on their looks. Appreciate everyone for their differences. Appreciate the beauty of the human body. Society tells us that we have imperfections. Don't believe it for a moment. We just have variety!

lol..I can relate...at home I look fine but when i'm outside its all a different story

How about getting a bathing suit with a matching sarong? A short one that you can swim in as well...? Would that be helpful?

I hear ya! I just bought a GREAT suit from Eddie Bauer of all places, to wear on vacation to Florida this week. It's a tankini, but they have other one-piece styles with added skirts too.

I remember my grandmother wearing skirted suits, in some giant blue floral, with a big flouncy skirt and always avoided that style because I just thought it was not my thing.

But in a hot coral halter top with a slit-up-the-side, black skirt that looks more like a mini, I have to say I don't look too shabby in my size 20W suit even at my formidable weight!

Here's the one I got:
MiraclesuitŪ Halter Tankini Top in Coral $70-78 (plus-sizes are more)
MiraclesuitŪ Skirted Bottom in Black $54-58

Pretty pricey at $136 but my last suit was $10 from Wal-Mart about 5 years ago, so I figure it balances out

Even if I was skinny, I like a lot of the draped styles. There is another one, in a tropical print, called "Playa Hermosa" that you can get in a really cute tied-skirt sarong-style bottom and halter bandini top... or a banded bikini ring top if you wanna show off your stomach

Side story:
My mom used to swim and even high dive, but once she gained weight and went from a size 6 up to a 20, she totally stopped. She'd sit in the shade in a Adirondeck chair at our local beach in normal clothes and not even put her feet in the water All because she was "too fat" to wear a suit. This went on for about 20 years! Sad! Finally, she relented and got a suit when my dad recently got a boat she could swim off the back of. I think she gave in because it didn't involve walking on the beach under the public eye. She confessed to me that my dad was thrilled and had her model the suit in the bedroom Oi, my ears! Heehee!

In the end, I'd say just put your thighs in the back of your mind and have a GREAT time! Life is too short to let body shame overpower your happiness!