This is a thread that probably older WLSer's can relate to, and help me with how to deal with this. So I had my WLS in March, 2006.. Went down from 286 to 128, and was still on my way to 120 (I am not targeting being super-thin, am just really short, at 5'1'', 120 is very reasonable). This was about a month ago..

My original problem that made me obese, is that I was addicted to food. I used food for comfort, whenever I was stressed out, I turned to food. I just ate till I felt sick, would only stop when I can no longer eat. After my surgery, obviously I couldn't eat as much, but I was also trying to make healthy choices (not all the time, but for the most part I did), and as much as I tried to fight it, I still turned to food for comfort, but not as often and I was too scared to eat because I worried it would burst my stomach. Even a year after my surgery, deep inside I was sure I could eat as much as I want, but I wanted to believe that I couldn't, and i did believe that and acted on it and that's how I continued to lose weight. The one thing I dramatically failed at, was sticking to exercise, but I still continued to try. I'd work out on average twice a week and I was trying to be generaly more active. Life was beautiful.

Now.. I weigh 144!! I refuse to change the ticker yet, because this isn't over!!! I really don't understand how I managed to do this in a month! What happened is that I was under a lot of pressure, and unfortunately, I dealt with it the old way. All I want to do all day every day is eat. And all I want to eat is junk! The weight that i gained is 80% in my middle, my tummy is bulging ridiculously I now know what it's like to look pregnant, I think this is stress pattern obesity and I don't know what to do with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..

HELP!!!!!

I want to send you a huge cyber hug!

And though I have not had surgery yet, I have been in working for years dealing with the "why" of using my laundry list of additions, like my food addiction, to handle the uncomfortable stresses that happen in life. Now I am not a Dr. but I can share some of what I've learned. This is what I have found helpful...

-Realizing that the compulsive behavior really did help at some point, in some way...even if it wasn't the best choice to handle things...it was a very necessary tool at the time to handle the aftermath of a trauma of some sort. Now it's lost it's usefulness and can be let go just as we can throw out an old, balled up sweater that has lost it's looks...it might still keep us warm but now needs to be replaced.

-if I understood that I should treat myself with the same respect and love as I do my lovely, wonderful, sweet daughter, then I can say...I deserve the best life has to offer and then treat myself well...with good food choices and compassion.

AND

-remember who will always be there for you...will always know exactly what you need...who knows and understands exactly how you feel at all times...who will never leave you or abandon you...you.




Angela

Angela.. Thank you for those sweet words.. I've always found that this whole thing is a state of mind.. I just need to figure out how to get there..

we are all just trying to find our way. I love that we're here looking for it, shows were fighters and won't give up!

If you can't run then walk
if you can't walk then crawl
if you can't crawl, lay down and take a rest then get up and go again!

It's when we can't find the path we need to have faith that it's there, even though we can't see it.

oh della - trust me, i'm there with you. but unfortunately, i don't have time for a real answer right this second - but bottom line, we gotta go back to basics. and believe me, it's not easy!!!!!!

but we're worth it. and we can do it. and we gotta do it because the consequences are just too awful to even think about!!!

more later - promise!!!!