Hi,
I just joined now. I read some of the stories and realize that people do can this, hope that I can. I was a bit overweight in high school (20lbs), I think I gradually put on 1-3 pounds a year after that. Got married, had a child, got divorced 13 years ago and put on about 10 pounds each year. So now I sit here at 338 pounds. I actually was up to 349 but decided to try to lose some and have managed 11 pounds over the past 2-3 weeks. I have recently decided to try the 5 day deliciously yours plan. I start receiving it after Thanksgiving.
I just cannot seem to motivate myself when it comes to diets. I think I am afraid I will fail and that is why I don't stick to it. I was 288 only 22 months ago. Went through some really difficult events in those 22 months, and now instead of having to lose only 89, I have to lose 139. Ugh. I tried Seattle Sutton. But I was starving!! I used to not eat breakfast or sometimes lunch and then I would make up for it all at dinner. I am trying to eat differently (past couple weeks). I now have salads more often and enjoy them. I eat breakfast. I really can't exercise much for very long and that is discouraging. What good is 10 minutes on a treadmill? I just think I have too much to lose and would never have GBS because my friend had it and she lost 120 pounds, but has a bunch of issues from it. Now she is just skinny, but has the same problems. She has kept the weight off for 2 years now. Surgery is just not an option for me. I am not wanting to be 120 pounds or even 140, but I would like to eventually be less than 200.
Not quite sure what I am searching for as to answers, because I know that ultimately I am the only one that can do what I need to do.
Your feelings are completely normal, but one way to combat it is to redefine success. If by success you mean that you will adhere to strict food and exercise rules perfectly without error, and will lose x pounds by y date, then you have good reason to not take on the hurt and heartache of inevitable failure. However, when you change your definition of success to something you don't have to fear, then there are fewer reasons not to get started immediately.
Change is hard, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Our body and mind rebel against change, so make the changes small and doable and make your expectation more relaxed and realistic. Progress, not perfection will get you where you want to be, but don't be concerned with your pace or problems you face along the way. Losing weight isn't like learning to play a child's boardgame (something you can master in an evening). It's more like learning to play a musical instrument. You will not be proficient in a week, or maybe even a year. You may never become a concert virtuoso, and that doesn't make you a failure.
IMO, it can sometimes be a fear of failure that causes people to not succeed, but often too, it is fear of success-or fear of the unknown. If your current habits have been with you for so long, you don't really know how to be different, and that can cause a lot of fear and anxiety. I think that creating a food plan that is manageable for you without you feeling like you're starving is most important. And 10 minutes on the treadmill is better than 0, and will help you feel better and more energetic. What i've found also, is that you can start with 10, and as you start to feel better, you can add more, and before you know it, you'll be doing 15, 20, 25 mins. Stay Positive-You Can Do It!
Hi Pretty Face
Good decision to join 3FC. It can be so motivating and inspiring reading what the others have to say. You're definitely not alone in your struggle.
I just wanted to say hello, offer some encouragement and let you know that 10 minutes on a treadmill can make a world of difference.
Small changes will lead to more small changes, and 10 minutes will lead to 12 to 15 to 20 eventually. Everyone needs to start out somewhere, and if it's ten minutes, you can think of it as 10 minutes more than you might have done before you started your journey to a healthier you.
I can't stick to a diet either. Never could. I just like to break rules way too much. But I could make small changes like throwing a veggie in here and there when I never did before. Or taking a small walk and feeling good about it.
Anyways. I'm rambling, so I'll just say good luck and I'm rootin for ya.
Tam
They're right but I'd also like add 10 minutes a day on the treadmill can make a difference! as far as exercise goes just focus on what you can do instead of what you can't. little by little you will be able to increase it but you gotta start somewhere.
Suchaprettyface,
Wow, your story sounds so familiar. I was also a little overweight in high school - about 20 lbs or so. I gradually gained weight - about 10 pounds a year, until I got up to 346 lbs. Right around your starting weight!
I think I know how you feel. I was so afraid that I was going to fail at losing weight, I spent years not even trying! When I finally decided I had to lose the weight, I didn't tell anyone about it. I didn't want everyone to know when I failed at it. But you know what? It wasn't as difficult as I had always thought it would be. It is definitely 100% doable.
I hear you on the exercise too! In the beginning, I would try to walk the 1/4 mile lap at the park. I just couldn't do it! But I kept going and trying and it didn't take long until I could walk longer and longer and longer. Within a period of 6 weeks I went from not being able to walk a 1/4 mile to being able to walk 2 miles. Don't discount how much good you will get from a 10 minute walk.
You are so right though when you say that you are the only one that can do what you have to do. One of our posters here says that you'll really get serious about losing weight when you are sick and tired of being overweight. I think she's right. You have to be ready to change and you have to be committed to doing whatever it takes to change.
Agreed, wise and sagely advice above. I would add, that journaling everything (food, exercise, weight, and even moods and emotions) can be very beneficial. I never did it before when I tried to lose weight, but it has been a key to my success this time around.
Joining one of the groups here at 3FC. Read and post as often as you can. The support you will find here is another thing that will help you through the roller-coaster of emotions that you will experience on this journey.
It really is a journey - kaplods expressed it well. This isn't something you will master quickly or perfectly. This isn't a diet, it is a lifestyle change. You must be ready to do this forever. You must be willing to give up the destructive behavior that has become a comfortable and secure place for you. You must substitute something else for the food that has become your friend.
YOU can do this. YOU have to want it. YOU have to work for it - HARD! It will not be easy. But you CAN do this. And everyone here is cheering you on!
You have taken the first few steps on a life-long journey. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and don't forget to enjoy life along the way.
All the others are right. Journeys are made up of steps. You may be scaring yourself by focusing too much on the big things, the end goal, and downplaying the small steps. What good is 10 minutes on a treadmill? You keep doing that 10 minutes and eventually it will become 15, 20, 30, etc. I wasn't exercising at all at the start of this year. Then I started doing several 10 minute bursts a day and my stamina built up.
Heck, you've already lost 11 pounds! That's great! Just keep trying to lose 11 pounds again and again! The way I see it, you know what's going to happen if you don't try. You'll either stay the same or get bigger. If you do try, as the others have said, you can make gradual changes and adjustments...and if something doesn't work, it doesn't mean you have failed, it just means that doesn't work for you. Keep trying til you find something that does. You're allowed to change your mind. You may have hits and misses along the way until you're satisfied with what you're doing but this is a commitment you're making to yourself so it's worth the time and effort. Don't tell yourself that you have to go on a diet to lose 100+ pounds. Ask yourself what small changes can you make now that will get you on your way down. And keep re-evaluating...what's working, what's not working, what can you improve, etc. And set mini-goals for yourself. Whether it's 10 pounds at a time or telling yourself you will weigh less at the end of the month than you did at the beginning. Each time you reach a mini goal that will be a victory. Even small victories feel pretty darn good!
Last edited by trekkiegirl; 11-20-2007 at 12:46 AM.
When I started all I could do was 10 minutes walking in place. Now I can go for an hour on an elliptical. If I hadn’t started out doing those 10 minutes I never would have been able to build it to 15 and then 20. . .
It SUCKS starting out from a place of being so out of shape. But you are where you are and you start from where you start. Even a small improvement in your fitness level can really increase your quality of life regardless of whether it is accompanied by weight loss. There is that saying that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step”. You can’t expect to drive from New York to California in a day any more than you can expect to be perfect. It is mechanically impossible.
If you expect the impossible of yourself, of course you will fall short of your expectations. Try and figure out what you can do now and start with that. When you have mastered that you can move on to the next piece of the puzzle. Personally this is taking me much longer than I had hoped. But I am still here and still trying and to me that is what is important. I feel 100% better than at my highest weight, and even if I never lose another pound (which I hope is not the case) that difference in my wellbeing has been worth my journey so far.
Too afraid of FAILURE to try?
But I could make small changes like throwing a veggie in here and there when I never did before. Or taking a small walk and feeling good about it. 
The way I see it, you know what's going to happen if you don't try. You'll either stay the same or get bigger. If you do try, as the others have said, you can make gradual changes and adjustments...and if something doesn't work, it doesn't mean you have failed, it just means that doesn't work for you. Keep trying til you find something that does. You're allowed to change your mind. 
You may have hits and misses along the way until you're satisfied with what you're doing but this is a commitment you're making to yourself so it's worth the time and effort. Don't tell yourself that you have to go on a diet to lose 100+ pounds. Ask yourself what small changes can you make now that will get you on your way down. And keep re-evaluating...what's working, what's not working, what can you improve, etc. And set mini-goals for yourself. Whether it's 10 pounds at a time or telling yourself you will weigh less at the end of the month than you did at the beginning. Each time you reach a mini goal that will be a victory. Even small victories feel pretty darn good! 
