I'm kind of new here. I lurk a lot and I'm not sure I've ever made a post. But now... I'm sick.

I'm sick of being like I am. I weight 380 lbs. I hate to see myself, clothed or not. I can't move. I've always been lucky and my weight hasn't slowed me down all that much. But it seems I've crossed some weight or age threshold. Now, everything hurts, I can't bend, I look my weight, I can't find clothes to fit (even at plus sized stores).

My motivation is nearly nonexistent. I start out well and then something random happens, be it a bad day or a bad meal, and I go off track and get into the "I'll start again tomorrow" ideal. I've been doing that for a year and a half. I lost 30 lbs from november 05 - January 06. Then I got my first ever office job. There was always treats from doctors, lawyers, and judges. The ever present candy dish. The inevitable "sitting there" that office jobs are made of. I gained it all back and 50 lbs more. All through that I've been dieting half days and then hating myself and eating whatever the rest of the time.

I'm lost and not quite sure where to start again. I don't like to cook, so I end up eating out a lot. I want to just keep food as low calorie and whole as possible. Good clean food. I have a major problem with sodas. Diet won't do. I probably drink 3 44 oz sodas a day. So even though my food calories for the day are actually relatively low, I go way above total calories with the soda.

I'm lost. I need help. Maybe I can get some ideas from you guys.

If "diet" won't do, then give the soda up completely. Have you tried Crystal Light beverages? Tetley's on the Go 0 Calorie drinks? Flavored water that has no calories?

Instead of beating yourself up over a slip up, just get back on track and forget about it. Change your mentality from "I hate myself because I pigged out yesterday" to "that was yesterday, today's a new day and I'm going to stick to plan!" and just do it.

Keep extra protein snacks on hand for when "real" hunger strikes. Decorate a jar, and keep it on your desk. For every time you resist the candies, cake or cookies at work, put a dime in it. At the end of the month, buy yourself something nice with it- new nail polish, hair cut, book, purse, anything that will make you feel good about earning your special treat for not giving in. Better yet, take that money, and donate it to a charity.......

Count calories. Every bite. Use a scale, and count in grams. Find out what amount of calories you need to lose 2 pounds a week, and consume only that amount per day. Keep cut up veggies in the fridge, so you can grab them first thing in the morning and keep them in a small cooler bag at work. Bring your own lunch- sandwiches aren't hard to make, get a low calorie bread, fill with lettuce, meat of choice and low fat cheese. Buy some 100 calorie pack snacks and have one with your sandwich- there's so many varieties out there now to choose from, that cooking isn't needed to succeed. Just make sure you eat plenty of protein, veggies, fruits and grains daily. There's Lavash Bread wraps for 100 calories. I make a pizza out of it- very simple, and I add veggies that I've already roasted or cooked along with a 1/4 cup pizza sauce and 1/2 cup reduced calorie mozzarella cheese. Subway has the kid's meals- replace their milk with water and get either the Baked Lays with them or eat the apples they give with the kid's meal. If you eat out often, get the kids' meals then- cuts down a lot of calories and fat.

A lot of us do the Walk Away the Pounds by Leslie Sansone. Get her easy mile walk, and do that every day for five days a week. There's a thread in the Exercise Videos to which we record daily how many miles we walk doing Leslie's videos.

Welcome!

I mostly lurked here too for a long time I've had an account since last year, but had maybe 5 posts until a few months ago. Spending more time here posting believe it or not has helped to keep me on track.

I've had a lot of those 'tomorrow' or 'start again Monday' deals too. I think you just have to get to a point where there is no starting over. You mess up and you deal with it and make tomorrow a better day. I know "easier said then done" but it really helps if you change the way you think about.

Can you start fitting walks in? Even short ones to start off with you sound busy, so how about on your lunch break? Keep snacks at work that are better choices then the ones your tempted with.

Okay sorry didn't want to start barking advice heh, I just really wanted to say hi and welcome

Hi eirlys,

Welcome. I know what you mean about crossing a threshold. I always prided myself on being active and energetic even though I was very overweight, but at some point it started to catch up with me. No major weight-related health conditions, but slowing down, feeling uncomfortable, being miserable...yeah.

I wish I could pass on whatever finally clicked for me, but I can't. I know I started to feel my weight killing me....and that had an impact. I wanted to live and not hide anymore.

May I suggest making small changes, a little at a time? Rather than get overwhelmed with the enormity of a whole new way of living, take one little step. An obvious place is with the soda. Maybe cut it down by 8 oz a day?

Thanks for the advice. I don't think anyone is barking advice at me. At this point, I need all I can get.

I'm not ready to get rid of the sodas. I think I can definitely cut down though. A little at a time until I can do without. I can keep my other food healthy. I can exercise. I'm going to start taking my tennis shoes with me and walking right after work, then riding my bike while the chicken is baking (I don't cook anything that requires staying in the kitchen.. I get bored with it).

I am busy. I'm exhausted. We are a one car family (no kids.. just me and the husband unit). I work 8am-5pm. He works 5pm-12am+. So I get off work, drive 20 miles home, do my thing, take a shower and go pick him up from work somewhere between 12am-1am. Then we head home and I sleep for 4 or at most 5 hours and start over. So I always feel rushed and stressed. That leads me to thinking I don't have enough time to exercise. But I'm sure I can fit it in.

I'm desparate to change this. To fix myself. I don't want to die. I don't want to wait to lose weight until I'm old (I'm only 27!). I want to be normal and healthy.

Thankfully, I'm not a carb addict, so I can use them on my diet. I try not to eat too many, though, as I do prefer to eat healthy foods, but I must say, it's hard to give up junk completely when you ate it so much in the past. I feel less deprived if I am allowed to have a fun sized Mounds bar than no Mounds bar at all. I realize some folks can't do this, but then again, I can't do low carb diets (they make me sick, especially Atkins), but they work for others. Everyone has to find what works for them- this works for me, for others, it would probably send them into a junk food binge.

Steels -

I actually erased that part of the post, because I didn't want you to take it the wrong way... glad you didn't. (Takes foot out of mouth)

I'm not low carb either... I think if we are doing this for life we need to be balanced, so we can substain that way of eating. But I did cut back on them somewhat because I just can't be trusted with some foods in the house

-muse (who can't do without her latte w/ syrup - screw the carbs!)

Hey Eirlys, welcome the 3FC! I have motivation issues too, so hopefully I can help you out.

What motivated me to finally crack down and be serious about my weight-loss was finding 3FC. I was just cruising the internet one night (looking at the latest diet fad I'd seen on an infomercial) when I found 3FC. Just looking at all these ladies (and gents) who've come so far, who are still working on themselves, etc. really motivated me. Now my motivation comes from not wanting to look and feel like this anymore. I want to be cute and sexy and maybe even *gasp* tiny. When I feel like getting off the treadmill and going home, I imagine myself slim and healthy and that gets me through.

Because of my motivation issues, I started small. I cut out the soda. I would drink 4 or 5 cans of soda a day. You already said that you're not ready to cut it out of your diet and that's fine. Cutting back is a great first step. Start subbing what you'd normally drink with Crystal Light (tastes just like Kool-Aid, I kid you not) and water. I HATED water, but I started with flavored waters (like Propel). Now water's the only thing I drink unless I'm cravng sweet; then I have Crystal Light or Propel.

I also changed my diet and started counting calories, just to see where I was and where I needed to be. Substitute light mayo for regular mayo, italian dressing for ranch, wheat for white, brown rice for white, etc. It's amazing how many colires you can cut by doing small changes like that.

I lost my first ten pounds that way. Now that I'm in the habit of eating 4-6 mini meals a day, counting calories, drinking water, etc. I'm adding in exercise. I am SO lazy, but I'm doing it. Some days I just walk away the pounds with Leslie; other days I'm totally motivated and spend an hour at the gym. It all depends and I'm learning to listen to my body. If I overdid it the day before, I don't quit and do nothing...I go for a walk.

Find goals for yourself. It can be anything. Buy some awesome jeans that are one size too small for you. Imagine what it will be like when your husband can pick you up (I'm SO excited for this one for myself). Figure out exactly what you want (long-term goal). Maybe go for half your starting weight? Or go for a set amount lost (100 or 150 pounds)? Find something big to strive for, then break it down into mini-goals. Monthly weight loss of XX pounds, lose XX pounds by XX holiday, etc. Once my first mini-goal is done, I'm breaking it down to 10 pound increments, so I'll get a bigger feeling of accomplishment when each one's achieved.

Sorry for rambling, but I hope you see what I'm trying to say. Baby steps works wonders. One change a time and within a month or two, you'll be healthier, happier, and you'll be seeing results (be it pounds or inches or both).

Good luck to you and I look forward to cheering you on!

Hi eirlys,

i'm the same way..I lurked alot and only now am I starting to post more

About exercise..i'm no expert, I hate exercise myself, but one suggestion, if you are too tired by the time you get home, maybe during the day..on your lunch break or so, take 15-20mins and do a quick walk around. Seems like nothing but atleast you know your getting some exercise in, and every little bit helps

I'm starting week 2 of my "cutting out pepsi" and honestly, its not as bad as I thought it would be. I used to drink loads of it but Ive been drinking water all this past week, with the occasional glass of diet pop...I have never had a urge to reach for that pepsi bottle sitting in the fridge. But if you cant cut it out, yeah, cutting down would be a great idea too

About the 100cal packs..I'm someone who cant resist them Especially the pringles one. The cookies arent so bad though. i've actually found a store that sells them single 3/.99 or something, which is a better deal than buying them in the box here..so I buy three and space them out, one in my purse, one home and one at work..so I know I wont munch them down all at once.

I agree that goals are very important and help keep you motivated. I've started a little diary book to keep track of how Im doing and what my goals are...that might be another idea for you.

Anyways, I look forward to talking to ya more on the boards!

One of the things that has really worked for me is knowing what I can do and doing that – even if for someone else it doesn’t seem like enough. If you know that you can’t completely give up soda yet, then the smartest thing to do is to wean yourself off of it slowly, like you are doing. You might not lose as quickly as you would if you could completely cut it out, but losing weight isn’t an all or nothing thing. Small changes can lead to big results over time.

With exercise, I was so out of shape when I started. The one mile Walk Away the Pounds dvd is a great place to start. I also would just turn on the TV and march in place for awhile. Push yourself just a little bit to help increase stamina, but never so hard that you hurt yourself or feel really worn out the next day. It is far better to do 15 minutes every day for a week then to try and do an hour on the first day and not be able to do anything else for the remaining 6 days.

The best thing to do with slipups is to not let them stop you, but to learn from them. That is one place where forums like this help so much. If you have trouble eating out or perhaps you are having a tough time with how to deal with a certain friend who keeps trying to feed you chocolate, you can come here and get loads of great tips on how to deal with everyday issues. Plus it helps so much to know that you aren’t alone in your struggles.

I'm also wondering about your lack of sleep. I know I could not survive on that amount of sleep on an ongoing basis. It makes losing weight that much tougher. If you can't do anything about the car situation right now, can you try getting some sleep before you have to pick your hubby up, and then going back to bed when he is home?

Hi - I just wanted to welcome you.

You've gotten a lot of good suggestions here. The only thing I would add is start with ONE thing you know you can do. DO that ONE thing until it is a habit then add a something else.

No one is perfect. None of us never indulges or blows off exercise or whatever. Just accept it as ok when you do, and start back on your ONE thing that very minute. It took us a long time to get to the weight we are at and it'll take us a while to get it off. But every little thing you do is making you a healthier person!

You CAN do it. Really - you can.

wow. Everyone is great.

I'm starting my one thing tomorrow. I'll skip the after lunch soda. If I feel I can't get by without the caffeine, I'll get plain unsweetened tea instead. Water is the ultimate goal though.

As for the car situation, I can't do anything about it just yet. I don't make all that much (So much for cushy local [county] government jobs!) and our extra vehicle is broken to the tune of $160. A bit out of my league just this moment. I'm cooking dinner right this moment, so maybe I can get some sleep in soon. I'm beat.

How do you do the Leslie Sansone stuff if you don't have a treadmill? As I understand, it's DVD and VHS right? If so, I'll just fill my mp3 player back up. I'm a big music nerd and I'm great at pushing myself to do whatever (clean, walk, bike, etc.) for "just one more song". I've also got a bicycle. It was a recent birthday present and I've only rode it a few times, but it seems like a good low impact exercise.

I have dreams of being this thin, eclectic, artsy chick who makes pottery and stuff. I want to go on hikes and swim. I want to rollerblade (A previous passion). I want to run (I've never been able to run... even "thin"). Heck, I'd love to join a softball team. Maybe one day I'll get there.

Thanks again!

"How do you do the Leslie Sansone stuff if you don't have a treadmill?"

Okay I know it sounds lame at first, but it's actually great exercise. You walk in place but it's basically easier low-impact aerobics as your moving around (Side Steps) Lifting your legs (Knee Lifts) and Kicking... and marching in place. Those are the basic moves depending on the DVD she throws in other things too. Some of them are nice and slow and short (1 mile, 2 mile) and some quite brisk! (4 mile, 5 mile etc)

So all you need is a DVD player, the DVD, and just a wee bit of room to move around in and you're set. No treadmill. Nothing special but a botte of water!

I started off with one of the 2mile ones I think and it was really hard at first to keep up and do the leg lifting, but I got a handle on it fairly quickly.

I have been lurking too until today. I am at the same point and have been trying to ignore the slip ups and start over at the very next meal instead of tomorrow.

Can I make a soda suggestion? Target has there own brand of zero calorie drinks like peach tea and rasberry. I mix those with diet gingerale (ap) to get the fizzy that you get in soda. It really is like drinking soda with only 5 calories. If you can start by subsituting one of those for one soda a day you will cut calories and get the water intake that you need for the day which I have learned is so improtant. Keep up the good work. I think the first step to making it work is hitting your fed up point.