WEEKLY CHAT ABOUT ANYTHING-8/7 START-WARNING: Triggers Mentioned
How 'bout a dose of Weekly Chat, Everyone?
Really enjoyed last week's Chat Thread.
I think of you all as I make my way thru my "day" - which is on the Night Shift for the most part - this section and meeting all of you has helped me enormously!
I get a taste for Malted Milk Balls (called WHOPPERS) here just once in a great while . . . my teeth have become sensitive to that type of sugar as I age - and they really ZING me - so that's a PLUS! LOL!
Still on the waiting list for HP 6 . . . grrrrrrrr . . . The Deathly Hallows still looking at me from the bookshelf just waiting for me to get to it! Can't believe the Grand Finale came back before the one b4 it, ya know?
Work has been CRAZY but so glad I haven't been reacting to the stress in my tired old historical cycle of carb-medicating!
"Carb medicating"--I like that one, aud. Boy, I didn't realize how I used that stuff to medicate up until now.
Today, I accidentally went down the wrong aisle at the supermarket. It was the one I used to spend most of my time in--the snack aisle. I was heading towards dairy and I guess I took a wrong turn. All at once I saw those beautiful colorful packages of snack cakes, candies, cookies, granola/snack bars, and crackers.
I thought about how difficult it would have been in the past to walk by these foods and not get influenced to purchase some. The old me of a week and a half ago (HA HA) would have grabbed at least 2 boxes to devour on the car ride home. Instead, I walked right by. The trigger foods were there, but I wasn't buying. I guess I just now know that although they may taste good while I shove them down my throat, they certainly cannot bring me the same pleasure as abstinence can.
For today, I feel good. My body feels clean and my mind feels clear. It feels good to be alive and to be seeing life clearly instead of through a carb-induced fog.
I just pray that this serenity stays with me. I know it won't last forever, but it feels good to have it for now.
Maybe it will stick around forever this time, ann?
It's about dayum time for me to have this clarity.
I've had a few experiences since re-starting this clarity journey this time July 16th.
Have stopped for gas 2-3 times in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere on my way home - and didn't go for the ice cream!
TONIGHT: The Everybody's Grandma I love working with brought me a plate with about 10 iced brownies stacked on there - not even a nibble.
Someday I hope to be at a place where I could eat ONE ice cream sandwich on the ride home - or enjoy ONE brownie instead of all of them locked away from the stress - scarfing away?
Not there yet - but enjoying the total abstinence and how absolutely GREAT I'm feeling!
Hey, just wanted to mention that I'm now having real conversations with myself on whether or not I'm reallyreally hungry!!!??? And I'm then listening for the answer!
BIG improvement.
Major.
Late last nite as I was Posting - I suddenly felt major starving - I kept typing and talking it over with myself - drinking glass of water . . . ended up just going to bed!
This is earth shattering in aud-former-world . . . I think it's just taking a few moments to BREEEEAAAATHE and not start mindlessly stuffing the face - but also promising Self that "Self, if you are really hungry, I will feed you" - takes away a LOT of the urge, ya know?
aud--sounds like you're well on your way to learning what's called "intuitive" or "normal" eating. So glad you're listening to your body and letting your body's hunger cues guide you rather than your emotional cues. That's my ultimate goal too. It is the way "normal" people eat. Way to go!
It has been quiet around here. I hope everyone's enjoying the day.
Arg! Work is hectic! I don't have time to read here right now, let alone post.
I had a scale scare Monday and Tuesday - +1lb, but all is back down to normal today. I hate scales. I hate kilos. I hate size 48 clothes
I had huge cravings last night. I had an ice cream stick, 2 oatcakes and some pieces of candied ginger. It still fit into my daily allowance, but it's not healthy and it's eating in the evening again. I tried to pinpoint my mood and it's definitely linked to the stress at work and feeling like I "deserve" to reward myself with food. It's also the quickest way for me to calm down. I use food like a valve to let out steam. Wish I could find a better way to switch off my brain, de-stress and relax
Aud spoke about Carb-medicating! I love it. That says it all for me, brings me right back to where I need to be reminded about so I don’t have to ‘go there’.
If I had to describe abstinence in one nut-shelly kind of sentence, and you guys know I don’t ‘do’ short sentences, I’d say this:
Abstinence for me today means that I seek help every day so that I can continue to refrain from eating food that makes me want to go to sleep.
Sara – I can relate to how you connect big-work-stress with food. Oh I can relate only too well. You’re great to take the time to share all that. When my work or study is nuts, I have to hit the bed as early as possible. First, because I’m exhausted and 2nd because when you put me+tired me+stressed me+anywhere near a kitchen at night me – then chances are I’ll be powerless over the food.
Hello all..Im new in this group. I have seen my psychiatrist about this, who says its a great possibility of me being a binger. I am still getting to know what this is all about and how it works so I can avoid any steps backwards.
One thing I noticed is that everytime I eat, I feel extremely guilty, for who knows what reason, and ive really wanna purge myself. (TMI??) I usually restrain because someone else cooks for me, or we go out to eat. But if I buy food, or cook, I end up purging. Does that make sense??
I didnt realize how hard it was being binge free until I tried it. I always knew I ate extreme amounts, however, never thought it was a problem...until the doctor said I needed to lose weight.
How do you all deal with the daily struggle of food? How are you able to manage to eat correctly without those guilt feelings?
Sorry for being quiet at the moment guys, I'll be up and posting away when I'm feeling a little better.
Welcome Huniebunie I manage my guilt by sticking to my food plan. At first, I felt guilty eating anything. But, I made sure my food plan was healthy and told myself that I had no reason to feel guilty if I stuck to the plan.
As to dealing with the daily struggle, I just take it one moment at a time.
How do you all deal with the daily struggle of food? How are you able to manage to eat correctly without those guilt feelings?
Welcome Hunie! I'm glad you found us and it sounds like you've taken some good steps by seeing your psychiatrist and working through these issues.
To answer your question, it still is a daily struggle for many of us. I'm not sure it will ever be easy for me. What I'm finding is if I'm not bingeing I'm not feeling the guilt. Abstaining from compulsive overeating really allows me to better explore what led to my eating problems in the first place. Abstinence also allows me to have a lot more energy to deal with my emotions. I never realized how much energy bingeing (and the guilt that follows) took up.
I used food to deal with life's ups and downs. When food is no longer the focus, I'm forced to deal with them in other ways. When I have that need to binge, I'm trying to do things like go to my support group, call a friend, journal, exercise, drink a cup of tea, read, or post online. Usually if I try one of these activities, I'll no longer feel like bingeing afterwards.
It's a daily struggle and always will be. I'm just trying to live in the day and focus on where I am right now.
Welcome huniebunie - (u/n reminds me of Pulp Fiction - the part where the couple is robbing the diner?) I'm getting thru a lot of different ways this time-most have been mentioned - just moving away from a cycle that has been so WORTHLESS for so many years. (I'm 46) - so a part for me is just a mindset as well. Kind of like when I get the urge to eat when I'm not hungry - I kind of just roll my eyes and think - "RIDICULOUS, aud! - Been doing this for YEARS and it makes you feel WORSE!"
Hard to describe - so I'll just leave it at "mindset."
I'm tired of being tired.
The single biggest change is I used to "carb medicate" myself to sleep every nite after work - instead I make myself a cup of tea or lately - iced water - and log on here and read everyone's Posts.
Gosh it feels GREAT not to wake up all groggy and guilty feeling . . . Tx for Posting ALL! You've saved many Carbohydrates' Lives by being here for me to read @ 3am!!
Ugh nannying is really taking a toll on my lifestyle change. I do pretty well on the days that I don't nanny, but here I am surrounded by cookies, candy, macaroni and cheese, brownies... you name it. I don't make these foods for the girls I nanny, but the stuff is literally everywhere you turn in this house. I can usually resist while I'm here (though I munched on a cookie the past couple of days, surprisingly stopping myself before binging) but it seems like once I get home food is ALL that is on my mind because I have spent the entire day fighting it. I usually start out well- a tortilla with chicken and peppers for lunch or a banana and string cheese for a snack- but by the end of the day I'm eating pizza, too much cereal... things I want to be able to fight but have a hard time doing it. Luckily I have one day here left and I hope getting away from fighting foods will really help.
On a brighter note, I made a trip to the grocery and almost completely perimeter shopped (except for the mac and cheese I had to pick up for my sister). I got milk and eggs, blueberries, bananas, other fruits, a couple Healthy Choice meals for the busy evenings, Light cream cheese... all in all, a very successful trip. I definitely met with some temptation in the bakery section and cereal aisle, but came out pretty strong.
Hello all. Ive been waiting for the past couple days to be able to post and say ive had a binge free day...however....not possible. Like others, it seems so that when I go off of what I had planned, im wrecklessly full of guilt...even if its UNDER my calorie range (for that meal). On another note, I bought a new scale. This past week, I sorta stuck with my plan, although ive over eaten on two occasions, my scale said I gained 6 pounds!!!! I cried, literally. I have one of those scales that look like a clock..not digital, which ive heard is more accurate. *sigh* I hope its not just me, but when food is right in front of my face, I can resist for a bit (after much pratice) but then it starts talking to me...lol....*come eat me.....mmmm...french fries* and my son is more than willing to share! *sigh* Another setback....
hunie--I know how hard it can be to get started. Perhaps you can find a support group like OA. It's really helped me to have the support of others who struggle with the same problems. If all else fails, I can always call someone who can talk me out of a binge. As for weighing, I really recommend only weighing in once per month. There's just too much fluctuation when you weigh in daily or even weekly. I know I can easily gain 5 lbs just after a very salty meal or just before my period. Maybe you can put the scale in another room and try to use it less frequently so that you're not as influenced by the little ups and downs. I know you'll have a binge free day, week, month, etc. It's just a matter of finding the right program/tools that work for you.
aud--sorry I wasn't there for you for the weekend. Hope you managed OK. I hope you're there for me soon when I become a football widow.
ohhkay--Boy, you brought back some memories. I used to totally pig out when I babysat. It was really hard for me to be around all the sweets that they had for the kids. I guess your best bet is to bring a lot of healthy foods with you to keep you going. Things like cheese, nuts, fruit, and yogurt. I don't envy your situation.
WEEKLY CHAT ABOUT ANYTHING-8/7 START-WARNING: Triggers Mentioned
Can't believe the Grand Finale came back before the one b4 it, ya know?
!
