I'm sure that this has been discussed a million times, but I'm starting to run into the problem of whether to tell people how much I've lost.

God willing, and assuming I don't dive into a chocolate cake this week, I'm going to hit a 50 pound loss this week. Which is great, very proud of myself, etc., but I'm not that comfortable telling people what I've lost. It's the fact that I can actually see them trying to do the math and figure out what I must have weighed when I started. I always want to yell, "hey stop adding it up, it's none of your business".

I don't want to see a look of amazement on people's faces; I just want them to say "hey you look great, nice job". Why can't it end there? Why do people I barely know feel they can ask how much I've lost?

I don't really even want to tell my husband and he has been nothing but supportive. (He sent me roses when I hit 25 pounds.) But does anybody else have the sneaking suspicion that their significant others are still going to be pretty shocked by the final numbers?

I always have to have something to worry about and this is it for right now. Anybody else feel the same or am I a freak about this?

I'm always scared to tell people I am on a diet, although I look at is a lifestyle change now. The reason is before I would do really good and lose weight, then gain it all back. So I am scared to even let people know I am trying. And I definately don't want people doing math about me! I will never, ever, ever, ever tell my husband how much I weigh. i don't want an opportunity for it to be used in a fight or something. So he will never know.

I understand what you are saying. I am afraid to tell people my starting weight, because I know they are going to be thinking: " Wow she was that fat??" My husband knows I lost 30 lbs so far, but he thinks I am now at 200 lbs, lol. I will probably be able to share #'s more when I get to my goal weight, because right now there is still alot of me to see, when I am at a healthier weight, and am feeling good about myself, I can take the shock, negativity or whatever.
But the decision is yours and you know what is best, if you are unsure now, why not wait awhile.
c heryl

First of all, way to go on almost 50 pounds gone!!

Now, to answer your question. I'm no where near as much of a loss as you are, but I think when the time comes, and I'm asked I'm just going to smile and say "enough to get me to a healthier weight, but I still have a way to go." I think *most* people will get that, and as long as it's said in a polite manner with a smile, they won't pester you more. If they do, I'm not sure what I'll do. (smart alec in me would say "I'd tell you but then I'd have to hurt you." But that's not a great option.) I would think thanking them for noticing and moving the subject on would be a good option. I am sure there are going to be those nosy-rosies who insist on knowing, and for them I'd be tempted to give them an outrageous number, either way high or way low. Or you could figure it up and give it to them in grams or something...make them wonder. More importantly is to not let it get to you. Even if they do add the math and figure out where you started, it's still a great accomplishment that you've made. I hope you find a solution that works for you.

I have told people how much I have lost. But only a few people know my goal weight, and therefore can do the math to figure out how much I weighed to begin with. But those people are not going to use that against me, because they are in the same boat. I can't see myself telling anyone my actual weight once I am done, but will tell them what I lost.

X

They don't know what I weigh now, god forbid, but when you're still pretty fat and you tell people you've lost 50 lbs., you can almost see them thinking "she's still obese and she's lost 50, she's got at least 50 to go, and holy cow she must have weighed almost 300". Or at least that's how the conversation goes in my head.

I'd just like the focus to be on how good I look now and not on how awful I looked before.

Telling other people the numbers or even just discussing your weightloss is your decision. I personally will be singing to the heavens when I hit 50 pounds lost; I'm telling everybody!!! But if you're not comfortable with that, don't discuss it. When someone asks for a number from you, tell them you aren't ready to share that yet....maybe you'll feel ready at 100.

As for your hubby, he sounds super sweet and so very supportive. He loves you for you, not the number on the scale. Of all the people in world, he should be the one to count down with you and share every victory.

Just my two cents.

X

I understand the dilemma. I thought about being more coy, but I do tell many people I've lost 120 pounds. I guess I don't care if they can do the math or not. I did care more at first, but for me it just made more sense to be open about it. I think everyone has to decide best what works for them.

The oddest reactions I've gotten are from other women who are obese(though usually not as big as I was at the beginning). When I say I've lost 120 pounds, many of them get defensive. "I've tried everything but just can't lose..." or "I don't know why diets don't work for me" or some variation. I guess even though I haven't said anything about them or judged them in any way, people tend to make it about themselves. No doubt it's a very sensitive topic. So, just be prepared.

Katrina: Awesome response!

From my heaviest point i've lost 50 lbs as well! So congratulations, i know how much work it is...

As for telling people, this is something i used to struggle with. I'll share with you what i realized just in case it may help you. But for me when i weighed 205 lbs i had no self confidence and was ashamed of how i looked. Even now, i don't go screaming on the rooftops how much i used to weigh and the weight loss was so gradual (7 years) noone really noticed too much... but when i do tell people i can tell they are adding it up and i didn't want anyone to know how much i weighed... not really cause i cared what they thought, but because i was ashamed. my weight was something i had ALWAYS struggled with and NEVER felt comfortable with. And since i didn't like me for my weight, i guess, subconsciously, i thought other people wouldn't like me for my weight... my weight was a weakness. Even after i lost the weight, i didn't want people to know cause i thought if they knew how much i used to weigh it would change their opinion of me, or i'd be embarrassed cause it was something i wasn't proud of... but then i realized something,,, i USED to have a problem with my weight, but then i took control of it and got my act together and that was something i was PROUD of. How many people have the strength and courage and commitment to admit there's a problem and do something about it. That perserverance says alot (in a very positive way) about anyone who's lost weight... and sure some people who have never struggled with their weight may not get it but screw them, if someone is going to judge you for a challenge you took on and overcame, screw them

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! Be proud of your amazing accomplishment, and when you do decide to tell people how much you've lost say it with nothing but glowing pride

Just tell them that you have lost a small child! I tell them that I've lost as much as my 10 yr old nephew weighs. They don't know the exact number, but they get the point. You've done fantastic and deserve to celebrate!

Im the same way. (((HUGS)))

Hi, Robin,

You've gotten some great responses (no surprise there!)!

Personally, I'm comfortable sharing the information with a certain select few people in my circle because I know they won't judge me because of it -- they're on my side and cheering for my success. As for nosy strangers or casual acquaintances, I find it easiest to take the warm and friendly offensive: "How come knowing the actual number is so important to you?" said with a smile and non-aggressive tone. It usually throws them completely. I take this tactic if someone persists after I've first responded in a way similar to those suggested by ChristyDM or elmuyloco5. It works well -- takes the focus off you and puts it on their nosiness.

As for my husband, he's supportive but I'm not ready to share with him how much I have to lose. I don't mind telling him how much I've lost, so I figure he'll know when I hit goal.

However you decide to handle it, major kudos to you for what you've accomplished already! You're doing great!!

All the best, Rae