Hi everyone. Please indulge me a little, because I have something I need to get off of my chest.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of counting, I'm tired of stopping, I'm tired of binging. I'm tired of looking for new ways of losing weight. I'm tired of researching, hoping, and failing.

I don't want to count points, carbs, calories, sugar, fiber. I don't want to feel like my stomach is about to pop because I've binged again.

I'm just so tired of the whole weight loss thing. I'm back up to a high weight for me because I just stopped doing anything. I have no motivation to do anything related to weight loss. I want to lose weight! I really do! But I rebel whenever I start!

How do I fix this? So many programs work for me when I work them, but I can't seem to make myself count points or calories (the things that have been the most successful in the past) anymore.


Help!

Hi there

You hadn't mentioned your reasons for wanting to lose weight. Whether it's because you want to fit into slim clothes, have a healthy body, or someday do something cool that you can't do at the current weight. Any of those things are a positive reason to get motivated again. I was just wondering if you had a specific goal in mind, or had given any thought to setting mini-goals.

Before I lost my weight (175 pound weight loss maintained for over a year so far) I had looked at the amount of weight I had to lose and automatically give up - it just seemed like too much to overcome. When I broke it down into 10-15 pound goals it suddenly became do-able.

Try this:

This week, instead of thinking about weight loss, calorie counting, and deprivation focus on something new (but positive). Think of your favorite dessert or recipe and do a little research on making a healthier version of it - just for kicks. At the very least it might cure a little bout of boredom, which happens a lot when you suck all the fat and calories (i.e. "fun") out of food.

It may not help you find your motivation but it will at least be something constructive to do while you're searching for it.



Good luck
Treat yourself to the healthy body and healthy mind that deserve

I think most (all?) of us here at 300+ understand exactly where you are.

All I can tell you is that nothing worked for me until I wanted to lose the weight MORE than I wanted anything else. I had always resisted the idea of writing everything down, but when I got to that point on this journey I did it. I think I wrote down everything for a year. I no longer do it every day, but it keeps me on track.

Everyone's different, and you will probably have to track SOMETHING, at least at first. jadedjane's advice to start small is good too. When I FIRST started, I just brought my snacks and lunch to work and watched portions. Writing things down came later.

I don't know about you, but one of my problems was that I didn't believe I could do this. This time I pushed that thought away and just tried "eat less, move more" and made a long term commitment to myself. I was 39 at the time and said "I want to be fitter when I'm 50 than I am when I turn 40."

Reading and posting on this site really help keep me on track, too!

Good luck!

Hi F&L...I'm doing 'Intuitive' or 'Normal' eating this time around. You don't track or count anything, and there are no food restrictions. It's a total non-diet on which I've lost about 62 pounds and counting. You do some logging in the beginning surrounding hunger and satiation levels, as well how your body feels before and after eating, but you can stop once you're confident you're ready to move forward.

Google 'Normal Eating' for more information. Even if it's not for you as a permanent solution, it can be great for a change-up to kickstart a stalled plan or halt a bingeing rut. Even if you return to more traditional diets, the stuff you learn can be carried back over. Nobody was more compulsive than me around food, and I haven't even had a single urge to binge in the almost 4 months I've been using this approach.

I had given up a few years ago and decided I was going to be fat forever because every time I tried to lose weight I ended up binging like crazy and gaining more than I lost. Dieting helped to create the cycle that made me as fat as I got.

I then discovered Intuitive Eating – mainly through the books “Overcoming Overeating” and “When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies”. Unlike Meta, I didn’t lose any weight with this method, but I stabilized my weight, I stopped binging, and it put me into the right mindset to actually be able to count calories. I found that I had to work with my tendencies rather than try and fight myself, because when I tried to fight, I always lost. For example, I would try to diet by eating really low calorie, uninteresting food. For better or worse, I am a person who is very interested in eating interesting and tasty foods.

The thing is, most foods can be lower calorie almost as easily as they can be higher calorie if I take the time to prepare things well. So, knowing my own tendencies I know that I have to give myself tasty foods in order to stay on plan. Doing something that is totally against my own nature will never work in the long run. It might also take me a whole lot longer to lose weight than someone who can subsist on only chicken breasts and lettuce, but right now I can’t change that. Maybe over time I can shift things, but I can’t change my intrinsic nature. One of the questions to ask yourself is what is easy for you and what is hard. Start with the easy stuff.

Also, in regard to the binging, I realized that eating was the only way I knew how to deal with certain emotions. In some cases it still is, and I don’t realize the fact until the cake is already half eaten. I can then chastise myself for having been weak, or I can try and analyze what was actually going on and why I felt the need to turn to food. I have been trying to do this in my blog (when I have been remembering to write in it) and it has been so helpful.

Ditto what NotTheCheat said. I do a combination of intuitive eating and calorie counting and it has been working. I started started with baby steps, just trying to only eat when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm satisfied. I also try and be educated about what I eat.

I am not "on plan" every day, since this is a lifestyle change I had to find something I could stick with long term. I'm not losing as quickly as I probably would like, but it is consistent and I am ok however long it takes.

I think just try something at first.

Freedom and Light, I know exactly how you feel. This is not an easy journey. Do you know what triggers binging for you? For me, figuring that out and then figuring out how to stop has been an important first step. At a certain point I decided I was going to work only on that. Now I pretty much don't binge and when I get the urge to, I have some strategies that I can use to avoid doing it. Not feeling the need to binge makes it a lot easier for me to think about, say, adding exercise. I'm hoping that after I do that, it might be easier to go back to counting calories.

The other thing I'd say is that if simplicity is important to you, then figure out what will be the simplest strategy for you. When I lost in the past, I started out counting calories, but I got sick of it. So instead I sat down one day and made menus of meals that I liked, and for a while I ate only from those menus, knowing that if I picked one of my standard breakfasts, standard lunches, and standard dinners, the total would be at the target I wanted. I didn't have a lot of variety, but the menus were all foods I liked, and I didn't have to count each day.

That might not work for you, but I just think if simple's what you want, you should look for something that's both sensible and simple--just say no to anything that feels too complicated.

Personally I've been interested by what people have said about intuitive eating and what to read a little more about that--it sounds pretty straightforward.

Hang in there and be kind to yourself.

I'll check out Intuitive Eating! It sounds interesting.

I know why I binge. It's when I first start a program or when I'm really depressed. Or both. It's like when I finally make the decision to follow through with the discpline needed to control my portions, my brain goes heywire and I eat half a box of Cocoa Krispies (which I don't even like!).

I've been doing this for over 20 years (I went to WW for the first time when I was 8!), and have dieted and binged my way up to 330. *Sigh*

I am going to make just one change, though, and that is to walk the dog every night. I told him to nag me at 7:30 every night and as long as it wasn't raining, we'd go. We used to do that, but I got out of the habit.

I think if I implement this it would help.

Thanks for listening!!! Sometimes I just have to give up before I'm ready to try again.

Walking the dog is a great start! Dog's can be very persistent about their walks, too.

One book that I am finding helpful is the Beck Diet Solution. It's based on cognitive behavior therapy.

I hope you are feeling better and a little more hopeful. This is a wonderful place to vent -

From a former 330-er, I know just what you are saying. Counting calories really does take the fun out of eating. I've also discovered that walking the dog can make a heck of a difference. Don't give up! If you ever need help getting through something tough, PM me! GL.

An interesting article on Intuitive Eating that was recently shared on another forum:

http://www.socialworktoday.com/archi...e2007p38.shtml

Hi. I am a bit of a lurker who wants to add her support of intuitive eating as a great way to start a sane way of eating. I was tremendously influenced by the books Intuitive Eating and The 7 Habits of Slim People. I was on Weight Watchers but would often binge in reaction to my food being restricted. I switched to eating what I wanted till I was full. Then I started still eating things I liked but in smaller portions that made me feel satisfied. Now I count calories more so I know I am getting enough so my body doesn't hold to fat. I have lost 18 pounds so far and have been doing this successfully without bingeing longer than I did on any diet.

I'm a former binger (there is a great article on bingeing in Health Magazine this month I participated in it). sometimes i still binge on healthy food.. but i'm working on it...

15 months ago i weighed 296 pounds and I'm under 5"3".

I hear you. I feel your pain.

i don't do intuitive eating because my head does not listen to my body
i don't weigh (well once in a while)
i don't measure (once in a while)
i don't count points or calories

I've tried weight watchers
I've tried atkins
I've tried calorie counting

none of those worked...

what has worked for me NOW is south beach diet MODIFIED to meet my needs..... it's a trial and error thing. I've been doing it now since May 2006 and have lost about 53 pounds... it's slow but since it's for life it does not matter how long it takes.

why? what changed? well my motivation became different. It was about helping my husband not die. It was about getting myself healthy again. I could not turn over in bed without being out of breath. I could not walk from my car to the office without stopping. I could not keep my body clean. I had yeast. My husband and I could not make love. this was no way to live.

what motivates you?

once you find what makes you want to lose weight MORE than eat you can do it.... but until you find that, please.... love yourself. for me loving myself was critical....