[uf gator linz]

Hi Guys...I'm Lindsey, I've been creeping around in here and finally decided to say hello. This group seems wonderful and supportive in terms of binging...I don't really have anyone around who understands and i've been inspired to really do this with some support from reading all of your posts!

Anyway, I had a random thought today and figured this would be the place to generate some discussion/feedback...

We've all are attempting to overcome binge eating/lose the lbs binging/chronic dieting has put on us...and I realized that perhaps I'm not as successful as i'd like to be because when i am done binging and begin depriving, it is out of hatred for myself...my attempt to overcome binging in the past has been out of hate for myself and what i do...not out of love for myself and wanting to make myself physically and emotionally healthy...so today i'm starting over and doing this out of love for myself, because i deserve to overcome this...not out of a hatred for myself. Does anyone find that hatred sometimes creeps into the cycle instead of love? Does this even make sense

Hope everyone is having a great day and I'm glad to be joining a group of inspiring, determined women :-)

[lois lane]

Yeah, I see what you are saying. We usually want to lose weight for the wrong reasons or motivation. Like being disgusted by the sight of ourselves in pictures. Not eating is like a punishment for me. Since I do enjoy food so much. I guess it is kind of a twisted way of thinking. Once you reach a certain point though, it is hard not to be mad at yourself.

[Janie Canuck]

Lindsey, you are so right! It can't be about punishing ourselves. It HAS to be about treating ourselves with respect and love, because that is what we deserve. But that's really hard to remember when you're mad at yourself for going off your program the day before!

Oprah asserts that "it's not about the food". I know that not everyone here believes that to be true, and I didn't use to. But the older I get (I'm 41), the more I think that the lady speaks the truth. I used to diet, then when I (inevitably) went off it a little bit (say, a dish of ice cream), I'd binge, to punish myself for eating the ice cream. No logic whatsoever. I think it was about punishing myself, and not believing that I deserved to be thin.

[Bikini Dreader]

I completely understand where you are coming from. I feel like I just learned this myself. I found reading the book "the Secret" really helped to change my thinking. Maybe it would be help to you as well. Positive/loving thinking is far more effective than negative thoughts. Believe in yourself and your strength.

[kaplods]

I firmly believe that positive approaches are more effective (and a lot more fun) than negative ones, and I do pretty well at maintaining an optimistic positive outlook even when things go very wrong in my life.. However, I do have to admit a strong bias against "The Secret," that I can't shake even though I've not read it (and am not sure that I will). An aquaintance read it, and basically told me that I needed to read it to see that I was able to "heal myself" of my all physical illnesses with "positive thinking" (that is I could just choose to be healthy by flipping a switch in my head).

[uf gator linz]

Kaplods...You are right, the positive approach is a lot more fun :-)