I have been failing on a regular basis lately because I get so hungry in the evenings, that's always my danger zone, and those are some of the same rationalizations I use. Sometimes they're partly true, i.e. sometimes I really do have a good workout and keep my calories down low enough to have leeway as far as what I eat, but then I can never limit myself enough for that last snack/meal. I always go just a little bit too high. I want my weight to go *down*, not up! agh.
I wish I could figure out how to fight the hunger and sugar cravings... it's way too easy to justify eating excess calories when you're really hungry to start with!
Okay, I know it's not a laughing matter, but I"ve said every single one of those things to myself (especially the drinking bit), and it's SUCH a tough habit to break. you're not alone!
Sure, that's the CO brain talking. One of my big turning points in my life-long battle was (a) realizing that that kind of unhelpful self-talk was even going on and (b) coming up with answers. If you have not read The Thin Books, I highly recommend it.
All of the ones on the main list all boil down to all-or-nothing thinking. When you catch yourself saying one of those "go ahead, it doesn't matter" statements, then you have to respond to it, refute it. "Yes, it DOES matter." Maybe it matters simply because of the calories. Maybe it's the principle of the thing -- it matters simply because it means you'd be going off plan. It could matter because that item is a trigger for you -- you'll eat "the whole thing" or it will start you on an overall slide/binge. You may simply know that having something off-plan today will weaken your resolve tomorrow.
The main thing I wanted to address is that last one. If you are a compulsive overeater and you want to manage it, you have to make peace with certain truths. My biggest turning point was when I realized I could no longer think or even worry about being "normal" ever again. I'm not normal. I'm a compulsive overeater. There are things I cannot do if I want to manage my weight and health. There will never be a magical day where I can do what other non-CO people do. Ever. I cannot worry about what other people do or don't do, are or are not -- I can only work with the hand of cards I have been dealt. If it is impossible for me to eat food XYZ in moderation, then I simply cannot have it if I want to avoid overeating. I cannot care if that makes me seem like a "freak" in the eyes of other people. If they think less of me because of it, well, that's their problem. The fact is that most people are way too busy paying attention to themselves to notice that you skipped dessert. And you know what? Even if they do, and even if they say something, it still doesn't matter. I'm not here to serve as a model of normalcy for other people. I have my hands full, living up to other people's expectations in terms of food just can't be on my agenda.
That goes double for alcohol. For many people -- especially people who already have ED and/or addiction tendencies -- alcohol can be a huge problem. It does lower your resolve in terms of food, it's highly caloric in and of itself, and it can also be an addictive substance. I do enjoy alcoholic beverages and they aren't a trigger for me. I NEVER EVER have a drink because I think other people expect me to. If I want it, I'll have it. If I don't, or can't, I won't. I never feel like I don't fit in or people or staring at me. If the people you socialize with notice and give you a hard time when you choose not to drink, they are not your friends. People who care about you will support your choices, if the choice is even noteworthy to them. People who don't want you to change, who want partners in crime, or who are simply jerks will push you to do what they are doing. Once you are an adult, you should be able to shake off peer pressure. If you are still worried about what "the gang" will say, you either need to gain a little maturity or get a new gang, or both.
I just can't believe I've stumbled across this section here.. I didn't even know it existed until a couple of days ago and I honestly feel like I've come home! I didn't think anybody could identify with the way I felt about food and the justifications that had me eating peanut butter cookies and a bowl of cereal I obsessed over for 3 hours or more..I know for a fact that food is my addiction of choice and the more I eat of what I love the better I feel... until it's gone. Then all I'm left with is regrets and and aching belly.
I have found lately now that I've been trying not to binge that my stomach is so much happier with me.. When I overfill I end up in the bathroom with not so happy results, that rarely happens now that I give myself limits.. I just wish I could keep from talking myself in to food that won't make me happy!
I've made this and printed it and put it up at home and at work to look at all of the time.. It's a **** of a mantra to live by.. If I can manage to do it.
My brain is out to get me! All my rationalizations.
