Gwyneth Paltrow is one of my favorites, and I love this movie for so many reasons. It's on now in fact -- which is why I'm posting.

She says that as research for the role, she wore her "suit" to a hotel bar and nobody would make eye contact, and they treated her rudely, and wouldn't answer questions when she asked them. That's such a heart breaker, because I just wonder where we (society) got the idea that one size person was "better" than another size. Of course there are models, and all the people we see on TV are usually lean, but I mean as just regular PEOPLE, person-to-person, I wonder why it's like that.

that is so sad - but true - especiallly where men are concerned - having lost weight before (sad but true) I noticed much more obvious male attention - there they were - opening doors, pulling out chairs......so where were they when I was heavier? I was the exact same person - just looked different on the outside!

Froufie

I hate that. I really, really do.

Long story, but I worked with a lot of homeless people when my sister was really sick. Someday if I get to know you people better, I'll share an article that the Dallas paper wrote about me and the charity work I was doing at the time. The article was, coincidentally, published on her last birthday, and it was my gift to her. By then, she was in a hospital bed and didn't need more gowns, or candles, or books, etc. The timing couldn't have been more perfect.

But I digress ... the homeless population is just another facet of society that is looked down on "because". Most of them are victims of a system ... our town has no public transportation. If your car breaks down, you can't get to work. If you can't get to work, you can't pay the rent. If you can't pay the rent ... well, guess what happens next? Anyway, these people felt so invisible and worthless and it was heartbreaking.

It's the very VERY same thing with people who are overweight. I know for a fact that not every heavy person spends half their day at McDonald's eating Big Macs. Genetics, medicines, depression, other medical problems, inactivity due to other physical problems ... all can lead to obesity. I know that for a fact. I also know that there's no way to wear a sign saying "I'm overweight because I have lupus and take lots of steroids" or "I'm overweight because my mom made me clean my plate every night when I was a child" ... that sort of thing.

I wonder if the day will ever come when we accept people for themselves instead of their circumstances or physical appearance? And I have NO idea where all this "philosophizing" comes from tonight.

Quite profound and very true! Lots of us are "invisible" as are some minorities, the homeless and other less representative groups in society - kinda sad really!

I always thought those men were "pigs"....really on the outside I would smile and say thank you when they opened a door for me, but if only they could hear what I was saying about them inside my head (and it ain't pretty and I certainly could not repeat it here for fear of being banned forever)...I'm sure you can figure it out!

Frouf

I've been obese for much of my adult life and what I really resented was people thinking I was stupid. I had a great career but it wasn't easy. I managed to work my way up from a Stenographer to a Center Director before I retired. Strangers though were always surprised to know that I was a second level manager in charge of a multi-million dollar budget. I was always pretty lucky with men but only after they got to know me. My first Fiance proposed when I was 150 pounds but my Hubby now proposed to me when I weighed 250. What a Guy!

See I have never been treated like that. Even when I was 205 pounds. A lot is how you carry yourself with self confidence that can bring out people. I do know I was probably an except to the rule and that society does treat heavy people differently.

Shallow Hal was on TV the other day. I was never interested in paying to watch this, but since it was on TV and I was cleaning, I watched it. On the whole, I give it a thumbs-down. I was disenchanted with all the expected "fat behaviors" ... breaking chairs (never happened to me), eating corpulently on a date (I don't know about anyone else, but I always try to eat like "normal" people in social situations), huge huge underwear, etc. It was interesting to see how "the rest of the world" views overweight women, and this movie seems to reinforce stereotypes that are inaccurate.

Hal was played by a fairly mediocre-looking man, which in some ways seemed to say that overweight women must "settle", although in the context of the movie it was fine I guess.

The only "plus" of the movie is that Hal went back to her in the end.

By contrast, I picked up a Figure magazine at Lane Bryant the other day. What a breath of fresh air! Overweight women who were recognized for being something other than just fat!

[QUOTE=phantastica]Shallow Hal was on TV the other day. I was never interested in paying to watch this, but since it was on TV and I was cleaning, I watched it. On the whole, I give it a thumbs-down. I was disenchanted with all the expected "fat behaviors" ... breaking chairs (never happened to me), eating corpulently on a date (I don't know about anyone else, but I always try to eat like "normal" people in social situations), huge huge underwear, etc. It was interesting to see how "the rest of the world" views overweight women, and this movie seems to reinforce stereotypes that are inaccurate.

Thanks - I saw this movie a few years ago and was saddened by the lampooning of "the fat girl". - BTW why is Hal such a great guy for going with Gwynneth at the end? He saw her as slim and saw her as beautiful only because he was hypnotized... part of the premise was (I thought) that Hal would never have spoken with Gwynneth if he saw her as she really was....

One of the supervisors at work noticed that I was losing weight (woo hoo!) She pulled me aside and said, "Princess (a silly nickname we have for each other), why are you losing weight? You are beautiful as you are, and you will lose your beauty if you lose your figure." -- Note that she is from another culture (she is from Africa) - beauty is cultural.

just wanted to add the disabled population to that list

What a beautiful story! Can you imagine a world where everyone thought like that?

I have 3 young children.... I feel that I have a responsibility as a mom to reinforce a positive archetype of womanliness to all my brood.... I am making a point to not use the words diet or lose weight in front of the kids. I am saying "get healthy", "Mom's healthy food", etc. because I don't want them to get the idea that thin=beautiful... I don't want my sons to eliminate dates because of their size (because if Daddy had done that, none of them would be here!! LOL).... I want my daughter to be strong and healthy, she will be beautiful at any size.

And I am not dieting to change my appearance: I am dieting to make sure that I will be alive and healthy as my children grow.

I'll step down from my soapbox now