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Yep, I agree with Kathy. Salad and enjoy that one cookie, eat reasonably but enjoy yourself at the neighborhood party, and bow out of the baby shower. If you DO have to go, maybe show up after dinner is served??? I don't know if that would work, but it would save you the dinner temptations, and make sure you don't have to stay as long.
Angela |
Terry - my advice:
1) Pizza party cookie - if you are ABLE to eat only one cookie, have the points and have planned it into your day then I say ENJOY IT! 2) Candle party - I would definitely eat something before you go so that at least you are not tempted too much as you don't really know what the offerings are! Assuming you have points and REALLY WANT something and it won't set you off, then have it! 3) Baby shower - is there any way you can confirm if a full meal is being served and what it is? Do you have to go for the meal? If so, then again I would suggest at least having some protein before you go in case the meal is all non-core or something. Otherwise eat what you can, count what you can and try and enjoy yourself. I don't agree w/option c at all and would not recommend saying to heck with it - it's a party/special event. Looks like you have a lot of "special events" and before you know it changing the roll of toilet paper becomes a special event and calls for a food celebration (hey not a bad idea! ha ha ha). I guess one needs to decide what feels right - and is the party worth it - just in case the weight loss slows down! Good luck and I hope you find some down time to relax this weekend! Frouf:) |
Time to change the toilet paper roll . . .
:T :cookie: :cookie: :m: :cookie: :chockiss: :chockiss: :chockiss: :cookie::corn: :hun: :jeno: :eating2: :jeno: :mcd: :jeno: :jeno::burger: :jeno: :cookie: :T
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Very cute!
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:rofl:
I'm off to change my toilet paper rolls all over the house, and will celebrate with a big ol' bowl of SF jello!! :lol: |
Hmm, I'm going to go drink a ton of water and use up all my TP, so I can change the roll too! Sounds like a celebration to me!! :D
Angela |
This could be trouble. My family goes through toilet paper like the wind. So to speak.
I tried the eat before you go thing once and, although I didn't actually eat anything at the event (it was a spaghetti dinner fundraiser), I really wanted to. So it worked, but what I think I'd do in future is allow myself a bit of whatever was at the parties. |
Hee hee, going through TP like the wind. Brings up interesting images. :D
Vickie, have you tried the French Farmhouse Garlic Chicken yet? I made it tonight, and it was delish! The garlic was very sweet and not too strong at all, just like they promised. The sauce was really yummy too. I had it over barley instead of brown rice. Mmm. Now of course, my whole house reeks of garlic, but that's OK because I like the smell! :) Angela |
Hello All! Thanks for all of your support. I'm back from my meeting. I wasn't going to stay (even though I said I would ALWAYS stay for meetings) because I was starving. My Leader asked me to stay because I participate and she needs people to talk. I want to say here and now that I am going to stay off the scale. Every day, every week, I fret and it doesn't change the Thursday night weigh in. Then there are days like today where the number this morning was higher than early days but was fabulous tonight. How does that happen? Anyway, despite my worries, I LOST 3.6! OMG, that is one of my best losses! Crazy body, crazy woman! So I'm down 34.8 and just missed my darn new Chick. I know, I know, there is just no pleasing me!
Frouf, I told Jim what you said about Sex and the City. First he laughed but then he wanted to go rent it for me tomorrow! I told him I have to finish 24 first. Unless it keeps giving me bad dreams! I hope you really enjoy your day tomorrow and I can't wait to hear what you buy. Deborah, I think your wishes helped my loss! I am watching the first season of 24. I've only seen 3 episodes so far but I cannot believe how the time flies. It's hard for me to keep track of all the twists and turns. I'm such a scaredy cat though. I worry about Terrorists so I'm not surprised that I was dreaming about assassins after just watching 2 episodes. It also really grossed me out when they cut the thumb off. I can't watch that stuff. But once I start something I have to finish it. It would kill me to not know how it ends! Kierie, I hope you feel better soon. You wouldn't have to pay the $50. All you'd have to pay is registration again and the week's weigh in. I agree with Terry. Don't worry about what you've done. Just be proud of yourself for starting over. All we can do is get up, dust ourselves off and start over. Terry, thanks for the support on the scale. I do give it too much power. As for your parties, I would say you should definitely not eat whatever you want. I agree with whomever said that there are always going to be occasions and you cannot just cut loose at each one. Your plan for the pizza party sounds excellent. For the candle party, I'd eat before I went and then munch on whatever looks really cool and special. If you really feel you have to drink, just take one glass and nurse it all night. Drinking can lower your willpower so I'd be careful not to drink too much. They are likely to have a veggie tray since so many people are trying to be healthy now. For the reasons you mentioned, I'd do my darndest to get out of the shower and just send a lovely gift. If you and she aren't close why, put yourself through the emotional and program torture. If you have to go and eat the mea,l just do the best you can and get back on program the next day. Fill up on salad and veggies as much as possible and try to stay away from the other stuff. You guys are all very funny! I have to go now. I don't have any TP rolls that need changing, but Jim and I are having popcorn tonight for our snack! Angela, I haven't tried the Farmhouse Garlic Chicken yet but I noticed it in your menu today. It sounded good so I scouted down the recipe and printed it. I think I'll make it next week. Did it make enough juice or should I double the liquid part of the recipe? |
Vickie, I made it with 3 chicken breasts (it calls for 6) and kept the full recipe liquid measurements; I had maybe 1/3 cup of sauce left. I'd definitely double the liquid, especially if you're eating it over something.
Angela |
I LOVE GARLIC - will have to hunt down that chicken recipe and try it very soon!
Glad to hear everyone now has a fresh roll of toilet paper in every single bathroom in their house - well done ladies - now let's celebrate! ha ha ha :eating2: Vickie -I bet Jim has already gone out and not rented, but purchased the whole "sex and the city "season for you and will be encouraging you to exercise a lot so you can finish "24" and get started on your new "distraction"! :lol: ...and now a MAJOR DRUMROLL for your FABULOUS LOSS - way to go girl! After all the other disappointments you sure made up for it! CONGRATS! :cb: :cb: :dance: :cp: :dance: :hat: Just think next week a brand new chick for you! Was not supremely hungry at dinnertime and dh was also going out - so all I had was a FRESH YUMMY BAGEL - ya I know not really core - but that's all I wanted with a glass of milk and I was good to go.....(put fish in the fridge for tomorrow). Went to my meeting this evening - where there was a plate of watermelon, a bowl of strawberries (red theme perhaps?) and a plate of mini cinammon donuts. and I had NOTHING - well just a glass of water. Was not hungry, did not want anything so that was great! Just finished switching purses - when I travel I like to go light so I have a smaller microfibre purse I use - and only put the essentials in it (just realized I MUST GO PUT MY POINTS FINDER IN THERE!). Have my cash, credit cards, epi-pen, etc....and my passport too of course! Need to remember cooler and ice packs in the morning. Looking forward to a beautiful drive - supposed to be gorgeous and warm here for the next 3 days. Picking my gf around 10 am and it's only a 1 hr drive - and we'll have lots of fun chatting and catching up! I presume we will be eating lunch out and will try and find something core friendly to eat! Hope you all have a nice day tomorrow - remember I will be THAT much closer to all my special friends! Frouf:) |
Vickie, oh my goodness! What a wonderful scale pay-off for all your hard work! I know how exciting it will be to get that 35-pound chick next week! I am so thrilled for you! :dancer: :cloud9: :high: Hopefully, "24" won't give you any more nightmares, but don't rent any of the other seasons since I think the first season is probably the least violent of them all!
Froufie, enjoy your U.S. shopping trip! I hope you find all sorts of wonderful Core treats to enjoy! Drive carefully and be safe and fill us in on all the details upon your return. If you REALLY want warmth, I'm about 1500 miles south of the Canadian border ... drive on down! :) It's supposed to be close to 80 all weekend with no rain, thank goodness! But almost A/C weather though. Terri, good luck in managing all your social commitments this weekend. Since I am completely unsociable, you have my full admiration just for participating in events of this type. I am one of those people who will always send a gift and rarely make an appearance! :) You are doing so well on Core that I feel confident you will manage the eating in a way that works well for you without wreaking complete havoc on all you've accomplished. Kathy, hope you are feeling better and will get to enjoy the weekend without having to work! Big sleep over for DD tonight! Hopefully, they will all have a good time and I won't be too nuts! DD says they plan to chill and watch movies all night long on the big screen TV so that shouldn't be too bad. I have tentative plans to start a systematic evaluation of the junk stored in the garage ... we'll see how that goes! :lol: |
Frouf, thanks for the dancers! Hope you are having a great time.
Angela, I'm definitely making the Farmhouse Garlic Chicken next week. Deborah, good luck with the sleepover tonight. I'm sure the girls will have alot of fun, eating, giggling, and watching movies until all hours of the morning. Thanks for your cheers on my loss. It was a great surprise to me. I feel motivated today like I haven't in a couple of weeks. Kathy, hope you're well. Off to get ready for my appointment. Talk with you all later tonight. |
:cheer: :cheer: :cheer: Yay Vickie! We knew it would budge, but WOW! You really budged it! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:
Angela |
Vickie and Angela, congrats on both of your losses! Yay for you two!!!
I'm going to be good today; so far, so good. :D |
Congratulations to all of you with your great losses.
Vickie- What a terrific loss and to think you said you never lose big. Way to Go!!!!!!! Welcome to all the newbies here. This is a great place to be. Hope all of you girls have a great weekend.!! |
Hi Mercee :wave: where've you been?
Vickie this is for you ! :balloons: :encore: :cb: :dancer: :grouphug: :goodvibes: My DS decided he wanted to do lunch bunch at preschool today. This means he goes in at ll:30 instead of 1:00, but still stays until 3:15. Yay! ! All that time to myself...........NOT! DD woke up in the middle of the night vomiting. Only happened once, but did not go to school today. So, I sorted some pictures - needed to figure out what needed to go into albums and which ones were doubles. Took a long time, but think I have it all straigtened out. Anxious to hear how the sleepover was and also the U.S. shopping trip. Lisa |
Hiya everybody!
Vickie - congrats on the big loss. Maybe you're exercising faster 'cuz you're running away from the terrorists. I love 24, but I have had a few odd dreams involving bombs and guns, so you're not alone on this one. Deborah, have fun with the kids. I remember how excited I was when I got to have a sleepover. I'll bet your dd is thrilled. And you're taking on the garage? Is it that Flylady is so powerful that the mention of her name makes us start organizing? :) Enjoy! Frouf - have a great time on your trip! It's always fun to hang with gf's and I love roadtrips, especially when the weather's good. Cher, I think the eat before you go makes sense. I've gone places hungry and even if I am able to resist at the event, I find myself pigging out later 'cuz I feel so deprived and hungry. Now for whoever posted the smothered chicken, I tried it last night. OMG! I now have another meal that I have to be extra careful with because I can't stop eating it. I made it with the cinnamon and mint (whoever posted it said they don't use it), and the flavor was exotic and amazing (you should really give a try). I was overly hungry 'cuz I forgot to bring an afternoon snack and had a crazy evening, so dinner wasn't until 8:30, but wow, that chicken was too good. So now you all have me wanting to try the farmhouse chicken, but it's gonna have to wait until after next week's WI. I love the core recipes. I actually think I'm eating meals that taste better than what I used to cook. Yesterday we found out from our attorney that we weren't selected for a baby girl that we had been hoping for over the last couple of weeks, so I've been kindof down. (And yes, I am going to a baby store to buy a shower gift today. Grrrrrr - just tough it out.) Funny, when God closes a door, He opens a window. Today one of the agencies we've been working with sent our letter to another birthmom - so maybe this time . . . Anyway, thank you for your thoughts on how to handle the weekend. They gave me a lot to think about and actually changed what I was originally going to do. Here's my plan. Today, I have the cookie wrapped up in a napkin for my planned afternoon snack. I exercised, so with my exercise points plus another 6 from the WPA, I feel no guilt whatsoever. Cookie is big, buttery, and full of chocolate chips. (Oops, sorry if I'm making anyone hungry!) Tomorrow I'm gonna eat core all day, have a core lunch and dinner, so I won't be hungry. Early in the day, I'm going to knock on my neighbor's door and offer to bring something to the party. So I'll have some yummy core snack (maybe stuffed tomatoes?), nibble on the veggie tray I hope they have, and nurse a glass of wine all night (2 pts). I want to go to the shower, 'cuz I would feel bad if I had a shower and people I invited didn't come. I'm going to have a big core breakfast (maybe cornmeal pancakes and eggs), and stay for the meal at the shower (which I should be able to enjoy since I'll still have most of my WPA, but I likely won't go crazy since I shouldn't be too hungry). I'll find some excuse to duck out before she starts opening gifts. Have a fabulous spring Friday afternoon!!! TGIF! |
CONGRATS VICKIE.........AWESOME!!!! :D :D :D
Linda........... |
I'm crossing my fingers for you, Terry. My brother and I were adopted and it's a wonderful thing to do.
Congratualtions to all the losers. I'm holding my breath for tomorrow. The scale at home has crept down a bit, but that's no guarantee. I think my eating has improved a bit. My dh has actually mentioned that he thinks we've been eating better stuff since I started the program. One interesting thing is that my IBS seems to be better. (I have the lovely "morning rush hour" variety--great fun in a one-bathroom place.) I think it may be the fiber from the whole grains and low-points breads that I've been eating. I got into the mindset of avoiding stuff like that when I was doing South Beach. Everyone have a great weekend if I don't get back in here later. |
Hey all, I finally got my cholesterol levels back.
Here they are: Total: 138 Trig: 57 HDL: 55 LDL: 72 So that is, as I understand, quite good on all accounts. Yay! I remember in college (10 years ago or so) having borderline low HDL. Not now! Just thought I'd share... Angela |
Holy moly, Angela! That's awesome! I had mine taken a few weeks ago and they were 258. :( I'm back on Zocor because even though I've lost weight and eat well, it's still too high.
You are doing good all the way around! |
Thanks to all you sweet chicks (Angela, Kathy, Lisa, Mercee, Terry, Linda, and Cher) for the wonderful and positive encouragement! Only 115 more of those little buggers to get rid of....one 5 pound Chick at a time!
Lisa, sorry to hear your DD was sick. Hope all is well now. At least you got a project done! Terry, the Smothered Barley Chicken was one of my contributions. I'm so glad you liked it. It is one of my favorite Core meals. I don't know what it is, but I don't like cinnamon in my hot entrees. When my Niece makes it she uses the cinnamon but I can even smell it. Kinda silly since I LOVE cinnamon in everything else. Maybe I'll get brave one of these days and try the mint. Your revised plan for the weekend sounds like a winner! Terry, I'm also REALLY sorry that you weren't selected. Nothing I can say will make it better, I know. Just know that someday you WILL have a baby in your arms and it will be the best day of your life. I'll keep praying for you as I did for my Niece. She has adopted two children. Her DD will be 4 on April 21st and we'll be having a big party on the 23rd. Even though it's been 4 years, I still remember her pain and sadness during the 18 months that she waited to be selected. You seem like a good person. I hope that a Birthmother will soon recognize your goodness. Cher, Good Luck tomorrow! Be sure to let us know how you did. Angela, I'm no expert but those numbers look better than "quite good"....they look outstanding. I need to go get tested again and soon. My overall number was 276. Doc gave me time to see if I could get them down. I haven't had them retested since I've been on Core. With all that oatmeal nearly every day and low fat, I'm hoping they'll be better. Although, Kathy, I have a VERY thin BIL who eats to live and nothing fun, including fat. His cholesterol and triglycerides are very, very high. Some people just produce too much. If mine don't go down alot, I'll be on some kind of medicine with you. My memory is that my good cholesterol was good but my bad was very bad. My triglycerides were great and the overall number, obviously, was horrible. Does anyone know a good website to read up on these numbers? |
Terry you are in my prayers.........just wanted you to know that........
God Bless...........Linda |
Vickie, I went here: http://www.americanheart.org/present...identifier=183 to check out what the normal ranges were. It's a nice overview I think.
Angela |
Thanks, Angela. This looks great. I printed it so I could look at my old numbers. It makes me want to go schedule my next test. I think I'll make it a birthday present for myself.
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I do manufacture a lot of cholesterol, I think -- with a family history of high everything. My mom's has been as high as over 300, and she's not on anything because says she can't afford it. I say well, um, alright then.
It's a dreary day here but is supposed to get better soon. I'm off to Hobby Lobby for some picture frames and a plate rack/holder thingy, then am going to plunk down in the chair and not do one other solitary thing except drink my water and watch movies all day with occasional breaks to do a teeny bit of laundry and clean here and there. But that's all!! Happy day to everyone! |
Happy Saturday Afternoon, everyone! I'm done with my exercise and breakfast and lunch and I'm about to go shower and get ready to await my roofer. One of our skylights is leaking and we have to try to convince this guy that he is responsible for fixing it. Good luck to us. All that and more rain is coming for the next 3-4 days! Ugh....it is always something. Makes me want to move into a townhouse so I don't have to worry about that stuff. We aren't ready yet but we probably will be some day.
Enjoy your relaxing day, Kathy. Frouf, how was your trip. Can't wait to hear what you bought. Deborah, are you alive? How did you survive the party? Hope the girls had fun. Terry, hope you're managing well! I'll check in later. |
Hey everyone!
Busy saturday so far. DS had his first soccer game at 8:30, so we were all up early. Came home. Did some laundry. Did 1 mile of my 2 mile WATP tape, then Papa Johns came., only ate Ds and Dd's crust (okay with a little garlic sauce and 1/2 glass of regular coke) Figure that was probably 10 pts. So, then I did the whole 2 mile WATP's cuz I felt guilty. Just waiting for the washer to get done; and trying to find something for the kids to do. DH is going for a Harley ride. Kids are bored. Deborah how was the sleepover? Kathy I think I'll take you relaxing day tomorrow. Wonder if there are any good movies on. I'll have to check. Frouf - what'd ya buy????? Angela - way to go on the low numbers. I can't wait to have mine checked. I've been eating oatmeal every day for a couple of months now. Hoping that helps. I think my overall last year was 212, or 253. Can't remember from year to year. :wave: Hi everyone else. BBL Lisa |
The Pantry Is Now Stocked!
hI EVERYONE!
Had a great trip across the border (funny thing was when we asked the US border guy what canadians usually brought back he said TURKEYS!!! - car loads of people, esp around easter time were driving home w/cars full of turkeys - sounds like cheap turkeys abound in the States! :D ) Bought tons of stuff - in fact we never got to the other grocery store cuz we were so busy shopping and reading labels. Went first to the Walmart - and gots lots of stuff there (like crystal light flavors and individual ice teas and INSTANT BROWN RICE!!! and slimfast muffin bars and ww angel hair pasta). Then to the Price Chopper - where we got more goodies : found several flavors of Weight Watchers cereals (got the flakes and fibre and cinammon crunch and also a box of south beach diet cereal), weight watchers ice cream (2 point sundae cups and 2 point cookies & cream bars), even found the swiss miss ff/sf hot chocolate mix! Got some organic basil/garlic polenta, flavored dasani waters (lemon & raspberry), and FF ruffles light potato chips (OHMYGOD - THESE ARE AMAZING - and yes I've been warned not to overindulge or I'll be visiting the washroom). I also found out that what you call farina, we call cream of wheat. Major disappointments were very little choices in ff cheese - got some cheddar and some 2% slices. And who the heck bought all the sf/ff cheesecake puddings! How dare they? Didn't they know I was coming! Only the usual flavors that we could get there!...and no sign of malto-meal either. I also got the ICBINB spray and some brummel and brown spread. Had a cooler w/ice so all our stuff made it back okay - altho it's only a 1 hr drive. Also had a great time catching up w/my gf who was shocked at how bad things were and when I told her about my weight = his unhappiness - that was the last straw for her (and she knows and likes him) and said "boot him out". Of course the fabulous day ended as soon as I pulled into the driveway where a recent drama unfolded as dd was on the computer when her dad came to pick her up for the weekend and she wasn't ready - so dh and her had "words" - he unpluggd the computer, and her dad was sent home. So as usual I had to do damage control - get the computer back on - get her to pack and clean up and then drove her to her dad's. and you must by now all know the routine (repeat after me) - any interaction between dh and dd causes us to fight and not speak to each other! This morning brought me further heartache (altho i really think I can't take anymore - but I do anyways). Little d/s woke up around 5 am with headache and ended up throwing up a couple of times....not fun. Seems okay now. I could not sleep, cleaning up the bathroom, found some "notes" dd left (you know the kind you pass around in class?)...something about dd telling friend her stepdad was in her room looking for the tape and did not find the BEER IN HER DRAWER!!!! RED ALERT, RED ALERT - of course this freaked me out. So off I went to her room (6 am) and lo and behold there is the one lone can of beer (we dont drink the stuff) that was in the basement fridge since my brother's last visit in her desk drawer? I am so not sure what to do about this??? Anyhow started cleaning up her room a bit as it was left in a pigsty - papers and tissues all over the place - and I find another note on her desk - this one folded into a teen tiny triangle shape - almost looks like scrap paper. So I begin to unfold it - it is a full page of writing, dated march 2005 entitled "Emily's Suicide Note" - ..................................... I read it and was stunned by it and shocked. Starts off saying she has a fear of dying and must conquer it - Says she wants everyone to be happy cuz she now is!! ...on and on - suicide is sweet - no more pain! I was beside myself w/grief and sadness and could not believe this -altho according to the crisis worker we saw the other day at the hospital she told us dd was not suicidal??? does that mean she was and now is not? or is she just fooling everyone? and on the back of the page is a list of people she loves - names of friends, teachers, family - my name is obviously missing. I know she hates me - is this just to lash out at me? I am wracking my brain wondering if this is just normal teenage hate towards parental figures - or did I do something terrible (recently as in March?) that led her to this? Sat in my bedroom crying at 7 am - which woke dh up - and you all know how understanding and supportive he is? Why are u crying? I show him the note - he reads the heading and asks "do I have to read this now"? I really wanted to sleep in - why are you up so early? This is really bad timing!! So things are not going well here - dh and I are just at odds about everything - I find him so immature and selfish and he keeps saying he is always the "bad guy" and can't do anything right. Not sure how much longer we can last this way - I am looking forward to wed therapist appt so I can discuss this w/a professional. Did go to my meeting this morning - lost .5 lb - whooppee doo..... Trying to stay motivated and committed to my plan (speaking of which I am STARVING now and need to go make some CORE supper). Beautiful day out today - very warm and sunny - and to continue for the next couple of days. Kathy - enjoy your movie watching day - sounds like fun to me! Vickie - hope the roofer fixes the leak! Angela congrats on the great blood work - I can't even compare numbers cuz the canadian and us standards are measured differently. Mercee - nice seeing you here! Terry - how is the social weekend going? Hope you are managing okay. Also sending good vibes for adoption possibilities! I had secondardy infertility w/dd so I know some of the heartache that brings. Lisa - thanks for reminding me of all the LAUNDRY I have to do! :o Deborah - did you survive the wild slumber party? Cher - how did you do? Little ds asking to go to the movies - popcorn for dinner? yum. Later, Frouf :( |
Damn. I'm speechless right now.
:grouphug: |
Oh Froufie! ! I don't even know what to say........this is from all of us :grouphug:
Hang in there til Wednesday. Does DD need alone time with you? Maybe dinner and a movie or shopping? I think some of my DD's problems are lack of time with me. She had me for 5 yrs. before DS came along. Is is all because of DH? Maybe she "hates" you because he takes time away from her. I don't know................. I do think some of it is normal teeanage stuff - I never liked my mother ..........well..............until I was married and had kids of my own., but I never talked about suicide. Mostly counted down the years until I graduated high school. I had a good friend who hated her mom too., so we usually just complained to each other. I feel so bad for you. Wish there was something I could do. Is she depressed. Sounds depressed. What about medication? I know you have to be careful with these in depressed kids, though. Meds really helped my DD, but more for "anxiety" than depression. She went from fainting during her oral report last year, to singing in the back of the school bus last week because she wants to try out for a summer musical! ! ! Definitely a much happier kid this year. It will get better for you. You have recognized the problem and are seeking help. Believe it will help. It does. Lisa |
Okay, I've gone away and thought about it and regained my composure.
Quote:
My DH left this morning at 7 on a motorcycle ride and isn't back yet, so I'm putting off what I planned on cooking and we'll eat leftovers. It has been a nice quiet day of all the TLC shows (couldn't find any movies I wanted to watch) and light cleaning off and on. I think I'll turn this thing off and head back to the TV. Rangers game starts in just a few minutes. Another hug for you, Froufy. Hang in there. :grouphug: |
Oh Froufie, my heart aches for what you're going through. I don't know what to say, but I'm so sorry. Sounds like your dh hasn't committed to the whole dad and husband thing, and is trying to be just a man hanging around the house. That's not fair to your or your children. I assume when you married him he promised to be not only a good husband, but a good father to your children? It sounds like he has a lot of hostility towards them. I don't have any direct experience with this, but I know my own dad would have sacrificed anything, and worked himself to death trying to help his daughters, especially if we were suffering as much as Emily obviously is. I think Emily KNOWS that your dh will not protect her in this manner, and she probably feels all alone and vulnerable. She knows you are torn between her and him, and is probably angry about this too.
If dh won't acknowledge his role as step-dad, no matter what you say or do, I think you need to err on the side of your child. She has no one else to protect her. Your dh is an adult, and can take care of himself - your daughter can't. Just my 2 cents - or more like 200 cents! This is such a sad situation. Definitely talk to your therapist about all this, and stay in touch with us. Vent all you like - we're your friends here. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} Angela |
Frouf, Oh My God, I wish I knew what to say that would help. It seems to me that Emily is DEFINITELY trying to get your attention and I think she does want you to choose her. It doesn't seem like your DH has made any secret about how he feels about his stepchildren. I sure would show her note to her Pediatrician or Therapist. I'd always heard that when they leave notes or make superficial cuts on their wrists that they don't intend to go through with it...they are seeking attention....a cry for help. I'm sure she doesn't hate you. In fact, I think she probably loves you alot but probably does have a lot of anger about your support of DH. I hope you find a way to resolve this. It's easy for us to say DH is making situation worse and I know that you feel sorry for him too but as the others have said, he is the adult and he should understand that he needs to be the mature one. You should be getting unending support from him right now. My heart is so sad for you. I'm so glad you got your day of shopping in before all of this fell in your lap. Could you support yourselves? Maybe he needs to be out of the equation for a little while?
Both of my rather new skylights are leaking and I've been told I have to call the skylight company. I was feeling bummed out about this until I read Froufie's post. Then I realized that my problems were nothing. Frouf, it is AMAZING that you lost weight this week. Don't give up on your program. You have come so far. Keep doing the best you can during these very trying times. We're here if venting continues to help. |
Thanks For Your Ongoing Support- Boy Do I Need It!
Thanks so much for all the kind thoughts- everything helps-and you are an important part of my circle of support! (While I have told 2 of my closest friends I find it hard sharing this w/others, esp can't talk about it at work-and need to keep my "happy face" on - which is stressing me even further).
I have thought about this a lot and also think maybe she thinks I have chosen dh over her (which I would never do!!), due to sometimes supporting him in some of his rants? Of course there are times when she has been out of line, and disrespectful or rude and I do expect a certain level of behaviour from her. But she obviously feels rejected by him,and maybe by me too by virtue of the fact that he is my husband and she cannot understand my loyalty to him? And as for dh I have a theory now of "arrested development". Given his bad childhood and the loss of his dad at age 17 I think he is "stuck" somewhere and never really matured into adulthood. This explains a lot of his behaviours and attitudes (not being able to "suck it up" when required, or sacrifice for others just because it will make them feel better, or give up the last piece of (enter food item here) cuz he was saving it for himself, or not being able to watch tv when he wants to). Most of these things are something you learn as an adult - sometimes you just "do" for others whether you want to or not, sometimes you tell someone they look nice,or you like their hair- even tho you don't cuz you know it will boost their self-esteem and make them feel better. Don't you tell your 5 yr old their stick people are fabulous - even tho they are just sticks and blobs? It explains his somewhat "competitive" behaviour w/the kids and the petty arguments that are constantly going on - you see I actually have 4 kids instead of 3 - except one of themi is actually 42!!! (one of these things is not like the other.....one of these things doesn't belong, can you guess which one is not like the other- before I finish my song). This also explains his extremely visual need for a "barbie doll"- he is still in the land of playboy/penthouse magazines, and not in the land of real women- who don't have perfectly flat stomachs, perky boobs and slim hips (okay except probably Angela? ;) ). I think a real genuine mature man would be able to love and accept someone despite their size - and would not be hung up on the outside, but would focus on the inside (or am I just making excuses for myself?). I am strongly suggesting he goes see his therapist- and boy would I like to go to discuss my new theory. And I don't think he is talking about the issues I would like him to address - he obviously still doesn't get it? At this point I am not optimistic that this relationship has the strength to overcome our challenges. Need to talk to therapist about what if anything can be done??? In the meantime I feel truly miserable-I keep trying to pretend what it would be like if he wasn't here- and I think I would still be quite sad as I am extremely upset about dd. He just adds another dimension to my problems- and I agree that I would be doing much better if he was able to provide some support and show less animosity and hostility where it is certainly not required. My only distractions are net surfing, computer games, reading a book, going to a movie and work- but as soon as the "activity" is over and I start thinking about things I just feel like crying! I also now have trouble going into dd's room - isn't that weird? I was sorting her laundry tonight and it was making me sad just to be in there! Frouf :( |
Nope, no flat tummy, perky boobs, or slim hips here, sorry! The 3 kids took care of that! I've got ugly purple stretch marks all over from neck to knee, a saggy tummy, non-existant boobs that cower somewhere near my navel, cottage-cheesy thighs... I could go on. :)
I'm just lucky in that I'm a small person, and can jam it all under lots and lots of tight denim! :D Angela |
Frouf, there is nothing wrong with a good healthy cry! I think it releases toxins. My Jim dated me and married me at 250 pounds because he loves the woman that I am on the inside. He tells me that he wants me and needs me all the time. We make each other happy and are best friends. I am his second wife and he is my first husband. It can be right with the right person. I wish that for you. In the meantime, distract yourself as much as possible and deal with things when the time is right. Sad, but it sounds like you are going to have to rely upon yourself. You can do it!
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Can't believe I'm up already after going to bed at 11:30. How sad is it that I had the last post last night and the first one this morning! I need to get a life....except that Core and losing this weight is absolutely my only priority right now.
Not alot planned today for me. I'm cooking our full dinner at lunch time today and will have "lunch" at dinnertime. That way I can leave Hubby on his own and go shopping at 5:00. My favorite plus sized store is Catherine's and they are having a great sale today for good customers that starts after the store closes and runs until 9 pm. Everything in the store is 40% off plus my Perks discount of 10%. Woo Hoo! I'm leary of buying clothes right now but I thought I go see what size I am now and see if maybe I can find one real nice outfit to splurge on. I have my Great Niece's Birthday party next weekend and I don't think I have anything nice to wear. I think I'm down almost 2 sizes from where I started. Pretty exciting. Other than that I just have the usual day. Hope you all have a peaceful Sunday. |
Morning all! It's so beautiful today! We had a real thunder and lightning T-storm last night, although I think we were just skirted by the edge of it. This morning everything is SO green and pretty.
I think TOM is going to rear his ugly head soon, and as a result, I had a little trouble with Cheetos and dark chocolate m&m's last night. At least I confined my binge to less than 2 cups worth (not 2 cups of m&m's, Cheetos with a handful or two of candy, but still bad enough!) but today I will be strong. We've got church today as normal. Maybe I'll try to go for a bike ride this afternoon. There are two small houses for sale in our neighborhood having open houses that I may go to. I'm vying to have BIL and his new Colombian wife buy one so they can be near us. She's still in Colombia, and will be for several more months though. My girls are playing with two cardboard boxes now, and saying something about falling in the lava. Aaah, imagination! Hope everyone has a nice peaceful Sunday, just like Vickie said... Angela |
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