My time is stretched as it is. Working full time with small kids at home to take care of, finding time to exercise isn't impossible, but so hard to talk myself into doing. Not because I think it's hard, but because I will be taking minutes away from the time I get to actually sit down and relax. By the time my day is over (I teach first grade), the kids have been fed, homework and baths are done, all I want to do is lie down.
I don't feel like I'm lazy, but that's probably what it looks like to others. I know that if I started walking on my treadmill, which I know I need to do to finally lose these 50 unwanted lbs., I will be more rushed and have even less time to devote to my sanity. And yes, I know that doing the exercise is for me, and it will help relieve built up stress, but just the thought of moving more than I am right now boogles the mind. I go go go all day long and the only thing keeping me going is knowing at the end of the day I can sit down and breath. How do I tell myself that this won't be the case anymore? That I won't have as much time to sit and "just do nothing"? I am lazy, aren't I?
The thought of exercise cutting into my much needed, stretched as it is, time to slow down, makes me very depressed. I can't do it in the AM because I am NOT a morning person, can't at lunch because I work through that, so it's at night or nothing. It's been nothing and my body has suffered. How do I convince myself it's worth it? How do I plan for something my body is fighting myself not to do? I'm so tired just thinking about getting on that treadmill. I'm just about ready to cry.