Good Morning Everyone!

This is my rant, my story, my confession. Whatever you'd like to call it. I need to put what I'm feeling in writing. I chose to post here instead of the support forum, because I have always found a lot of support and inspiration from a lot of people here.

My weightloss journey began on February 14th 2006 and everything was great for the first 6 months. I was able to lose 30lbs and I felt just wonderful. Then, I slipped a little. For the next 2 months I maintained that weight.
Then wham!! Somewhere between Halloween and now I completly lost control of everything.
For the last month I have been in lurk mode because of the embarassment that I feel. I feel that I have let myself down, my family down and all of you down. Somehow I have managed to gain 12lbs back in only 4 1/2 weeks.
This weekend was a real eye opener for me. My husband got up the courage to ask me what was going on and why I have given up. Part of me was hurt and the other part was grateful that he was geniunly concerned. He made me realize that I have come way to far to give up now. He also said he could really tell that my attitude and self esteem was going back to how it used to be.
With that being said, I have decided that I need to seriously pick myself up and start from the beginning. I sat down this morning and thought about all of the things I did at the beginning that made me so sucessful.
I started off by changing my ticker to reflect my weight gain, which was really hard to do. Then I went into my Fitday account and updated all my information. I had a great work out this morning and plan to have a second workout this evening. I packed a good breakfast and lunch to bring to work and have already planned what we are eating for dinner.
So it's back to the basics for me.

Lastly I have come to 3FatChicks for support today. I really do realize all of you have been a great help to me and when I decide to stay away because I think I'm not doing very well then it gets even worse.

Even if I get no responses I am greatful for a place to come and share my feelings. Thanks for listening.

I already feel 100% better, knowing that somehow, someway I will get to my goal. Whether it takes me 6 months, a year or more.

So wish me luck!

Have a great day!!

Well welcome back, I'm really glad you've returned. This place is truly amazing and it has helped me immensely. You absolutely can turn this around, without a doubt. We all have slip ups and then we dust ourselves off, and pick ourselves up and start all over again. I'm glad to see that your husband is supportive of you, that's a big help. You plan sounds great. We have a Daily Commitment thread here that I think you'll like and check out our I wanna stay fat because...... thread it's humorous and I think we all can use a little humor. I hope that you will continue to post here and not only lurk, cause quite frankly we need you just as much as you need us. Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Leec -

First, I want to say Congratulations for maintaining a weight loss of 18lbs!! Yes, you did gain back some weight.... but you are stopping the cycle before you gain it all back, plus some. I've been a yo yo dieter my entire life. I would diet, lose weight and then gain back more than I lost. You are not there!! You hit rough patch, but you are getting back on track. Your ticker is still down 18lbs...... that's wonderful!! And from here it will continue to go down and down.

I know it hurt to have your husband say something to you about your stalled weight loss.... but it is out of love. He wants you to be happier and feel better about yourself. I think you are so fortunate to have such a supportive husband.

We have started a daily commitments thread where people can post their commitments for the day. Maybe you want to check it out. You will find lots of support there, and it's a great way to set goals for yourself and hold yourself accountable.

Congratulations for getting back on track.... that is a HUGE victory for you. We can all do this together!!

Leec, Welcome back! Picking yourself up after a fall is hard to do, but you caught it pretty quick and should be proud of yourself for that. I've had slipups that last months (or longer!) and have often gained back all I've lost or even more. You're back on track during the hardest part of the year, and you should really be proud of yourself for that.

You might enjoy Intuitive Eating #2 by searching those words.

Hi there, Leec!

You WILL make it! Weight loss is a tricky business, and we all have to stick together to learn all the tricks and tips that we can! This spot is a GREAT place because everyone here "gets" it about feeling upset and down and then happy and successful and then getting all discouraged all over again! It's a tough go a lot of the time, but we are here for you!

Just curious...were you eating a really low calorie plan BEFORE when you lost your big amount of weight? My neighbor put a bunch of weight back on this year when she started to eat normally again. She had been restricting herself to 1000 calories or even less each day. The weight DID melt off very quickly, but it came back on again fast. She's now exercising to help speed up her metabolism so that she can get back on track, AND she's eating a better meal plan to keep her metabolism in gear.

Remember: YOU CAN DO THIS! We are all here doing it right with you!

Cheryl

Thanks so much for all of the wonderful comments. Thanks for making me realize I'm not in this alone and I'm not the only one that goes through some tough times. You guys are great!

Cheryl- About my calories, I think I know exactly what happened. I was eating 1500 calories a day and was able to lose on a pretty constant basis. A week before Halloween I cut my calories down to 1200 and most of that was Slimfast. I think maybe I sent my body into crave mode. That is about the same time I started eating things that I was able to stay away from for about 8 months.
Well at least I know now. Slimfast is not a good option for me. So back to counting calories, 1500-1600 a day to start off with.

Thanks again everyone.

Hi Leec!

I've never tried Slimfast, but what you said sure sounds reasonable. I'm finding that our bodies are actually MADE to hold onto weight! (Some of us are actually incredibly TALENTED in holding onto weight!) Anyway, we somehow need to convince our bodies that there's no danger...that we aren't starving... that everything is A-OK. THAT is the really tricky part! Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to hide my weight loss plans from my own body! It is weird!

Good luck with the calorie plan that you have decided to do! It sounds solid.

Cravings, I hear are REAL. They are NOT just in our heads. I heard that chocolate cravings in particular are when the body is in need of serotonin. I found that when I didn't work out as much or skipped a few days that I really craved chocolate. I guess the exercise gave me the endorphins (feel-good feelings) that somehow helped me NOT to want or need the serotonin in the chocolate. When I skipped the days of exercise, it threw ME off like Slimfast threw YOU off. (Our bodies must have gotten wind of our weight loss plans!)

Good luck with your plan!

Cheryl

Welcome back Leec!!

I think you've done a wonderful job of catching yourself!!

Backsliding is a scary thing...I've slid ALL the way back to the beginnig plus five pounds, and now need to start all over again, so please BE PROUD...hold your head up high as you re-start this journey!

:
Linda

Leec, I totally understand those feelings. I, too, went into lurk mode when I went out of control. I don't know that you felt this way, but after giving it a lot of thought, a small part of why I didn't post was that part of me didn't want to stop. How self-destructive is that?! That's the dark side of being overweight - we wouldn't overeat if it didn't do something positive for us (harmful as the result may be).

Anyway, I'm really happy you made it back. Good for you for realizing what was happening before you'd undone all of your hard work!! For so many of us, that isn't the case!

back, Leec! You've taken that first difficult step by coming back here. Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Hugs! Welcome back!

There is no embarrasment in coming back! You have stepped up to the "plate" once more!

It is only if you give up forever that you should be embarrased.

Glad to see you back.

Welcome back Leec! I think it's wonderful that you've come back, ready to start back on the right track. And you should be proud of yourself for catching yourself before more damage was done. And you should be proud of your husband for speaking up - it sounds like he was speaking from his heart.