When I was 16, my 1st boyfriend was abusive, both emotionally and physically. He had a very very bad temper and was also abused himself by his own father which I witnessed. It scared me to see his father "lose it" like that.
One time my bf and I were arguing and he went to hit me, luckily his mom walked in at the time and got in between us and stopped him. That should should have been a MAJOR FLASHING warning sign to me, but nope. He never actually "hit" me, but he would grab me hard enough to leave bruising and he did push me a couple times.
It got bad to worse and finally I had enough one day and that was it. Well or so I thought. After that he would follow me when I was out driving somewhere, he would always find me, he would always be with a group of people, including his fiance at the time, they would be yelling out the window that they wanted to beat my well you know. They would even drive by my house, which wasn't near his at all and yell out the window dirogative things, they would yell it loud enough for my hard of hearing father who was watching the tv at a very high volume to hear it himself!
Yes I went to the cops several times they would do nothing about it because they said they would have to catch him doing it before they could do anything about it.
They even followed my friend when she was driving once, we went straight to the cops and again they would do nothing, even with my friend being a witness to it. (they would usually just do it when I was alone)
Finally I had enough and my dad did too and he called him and told him to stop following me or else he would be dealing with my dad every single day. It finally stopped!
It did affect me and my weight, only the reverse. I wouldn't eat. My mom would have to force me to eat. My stomach would always be so upset that I could not eat. Later on I found out I had 7 ulcers I beleive this experience contributed to that for sure.
Eventually I started dating someone else and once my ex and his fiance saw us and began following my new boyfriend and me!!! (my bf was driving at the time!) He slowed down and they finally passed!
I did have a confrontation with them, with my cousin and his girlfriend (also my friend) present. My ex's fiance talked the whole time. I told her I didn't understand why they were following me or even bothering me because I never bothered them. She kept saying she didn't like how "my ex" was "treated". How HE was treated?????? I didn't say anything to that because it would have caused a HUGE argument, but I just said, "Stay away from me and I'll do the same." She promised they would and she even said, "Maybe someday we'll be friends" I was thinking, "R U nuts lady?"
After that I never had a problem with them again. Fast forward years later and they showed up at my grandmother's funeral. They are friends with my cousin and I told my cousin after my ex and I broke up that I didn't mind they were friends because it was my ex and I that broke up, not him and his friend. (my cousin asked me if it was okay to still be friends with my ex) My cousin did ask me how I felt about my ex and his wife being at our grandmother's funeral. I said I didn't mind because after all he is friends with him, but that I didnt' want anything to do with my ex and his wife.
The funeral went fine, my ex even said HI to me.
But it was afterward. Everybody came to my mom's house after, including my ex and his fiance. I thought that was a bit much. I wasn't comfortable with that, but said nothing to them.
Then after they were already there, my cousin's wife came up to me and said, "I told them it was okay to come, is it okay?" I just said, "Well its too late now." I totally ignored my ex and his wife. I felt like I didn't invite them into my mother's home and I didn't have to speak to them. They didn't stay long and eventually left.
I don't have a problem with them, but I will never forget what they both put me through. I have forgiven them but will never forget it and I'm not comfortable being around them. I just am not. But I don't have a problem with them being friends with my cousin and his wife. That is their perogative. I just choose not to socialize with my ex and his wife.
Sorry this got so long!!!!!!
Great Thread!