Abbey: I have to admit it has been a long time since Jack was active duty so with regards to pay now, I don't know, but we decided when we had kids that I should stay home with them because he would be in and out to sea so much and we thought they should have someone home all the time. With that being the case, we had only his income and two children to support. As I said, he was enlisted and when he retired his pay, including everything AND the pay that was not even taxable, was barely $20,000 a year. I don't know about army bases, but the aviation Navy bases where Jack was stationed are in big cities, ie San Diego, Norfolk, etc and the expenses were horrible. We didn't have parents to help us out and sometimes I wondered where the next meal was coming from. I know that sounds horrible, but the fact is this country doesn't think enough of their servicemen to pay them enough to keep their family fed, clothed and housed. I bet most of the ladies here probably have jobs and not all of them are probably happy about it. Many a time we couldn't even get into base housing and would have to pay rent on the outside, which would take a huge chunk out of his pay. Our kids never got the latest toys, shoes, jackets, whatever because there wasn't enough money for that. It was Payless and KMart. My poor children can tell you they hated being in the Navy because we moved every three years. If we went back, we wouldn't stay in for the long run even with his retirement pay. It makes me sick that the men and women who are keeping this country safe are subjected to this and sometimes resorting to FOOD STAMPS to get by. It is disgusting. Ok, sorry about the
but it is a truly sore subject with me. People want to continually cut the defense budget and the people that serve are the ones that suffer. I applaud you young ladies whose husbands put their lives on the line and for you who sacrifice so much in his doing it!
Here's to you ladies!!!
No one thinks what it is like to be without your husband for months or sometimes years at a time. Having to figure out where to come up with the money for the car repairs, what to do about the washer breaking down, etc. Crying yourself to sleep because you miss him, but burying your head in the pillow because you don't want the kids to hear. We have been married 34 years now, have a lovely life and two grown married children and a scrumptious grandson (avatar), but it takes a huge amount of work for a military marriage to work. The divorce rate in the military is nearly 75% and those that work hard enough to keep their relationship going can only be patted on the back. IT AIN'T EASY! One thing that I think is the hardest is the man goes to sea or overseas tour and the wife has to handle EVERYTHING herself. He comes back home expecting to take back over responsibilities he had before he left and the wife put out because she gets it into her head, who does he think he is? I did this alone for XXX amount of months and did it just fine, etc. Sometimes the wife starts resenting the man when he gets home no matter how gently the man tries to reinsert himself. Another thing is some wives go into marriage to a military man having NO IDEA what the huge change is going to be like. My husband sat me down when we became engaged and laid it all out to me the good and the bad and what I would have to go through if we married. He also always put ME first in the relationship and I could be as wrong as they come, but in public he supported me no matter how wrong I was. Our children grew up watching parents who loved each other and worked at their relationship. My 33 year old son got married 2 years ago and the day he got married he put his arms around us and said, "Thanks mom and dad for giving me such a good example of what a marriage should be." Ok, now I am all blubbery so....
You all have a great afternoon. I am going back to watching the CUBS game and the NASCAR race (we are flipping back and forth between the two.)
Faye