I was so ready to try and lose weight, again. Again, life gets in the way.
My mom called and told me my grandma is not doing well. (she's 88 and still lives by herself) We all think she has been having mini strokes, getting weaker, and this last stroke has caused her to get very weak. My mom say's "the spark has gone out of her". My mom and aunt go to her house constantly to help her/check up on her.
To add to this, my mom and dad are going on a 4 day cruise next week, care of me and my siblings, for their 40th anniversary. My mom feels guilty that she is leaving. She's afraid something will happen to her while she is away. She can kick herself now for not paying for cruise insurance, but there's nothing they can do about that now. They will go on the cruise, but I know mom will have a miserable time, now, worrying about her mom. So now I feel guilty for sending her on this trip! She says not to feel guilty, she's the one who feels guilty for going! It's just a huge mess.
Again, I will put this "dieting" on the backburner. I'm gaining more and more weight as the days go on. I hate it! Life is always throwing me a curve ball. All I can do is worry about my family and forget my personal problems. People say I'm being selfish for not controlling my eating, but it feels so much more the opposite right now.
Thanks for listening to my problems.
Heidi
179/175/135