Don't misunderstand, I still have a long way to go -- but I had a big moment today and I want to try to blog about it to perhaps explain how I'm feeling and what's going through my mind.

Today was the first day that I really felt a significant difference in my body. My bras are all loose even on the last hooks -- and the cups are baggy. My clothes are starting to hang on me and as my hands follow the curves of my breasts, stomach, waist, and legs, I can distinctly tell that my topography is changing.

Now, as amazing as that is -- it leaves me feeling strange. Almost like I'm saying goodbye to an old friend -- someone I know I'll never see again. Although it's amazing and feels incredible -- there's a twinge of melancholy.

I know -- crazy right?

But so many people talk about losing significant amounts of weight and then sabotaging their progress due to "fear of success". I think I understand that concept.

Maybe it's only a odd fear-based feeling? Maybe something as simple as fear of change -- fear of the unknown? Maybe I've just grown comfortable in my fatness? This fat suit that I wear. This fat shield that I stand behind and look through. Why would I want to hold on to that? I don't.

I just feel myself disappearing -- melting -- changing -- morphing -- I wonder if I'll miss the curves and speed bumps and fleshy masses? I know I'll never have this fat body again.

I know. I really know.

This time it's for real. This time it's going to stick -- and I know I'm in for a major appearance overhaul.

When I'm thin there will be no boundaries for me. No reason to hold back in any aspect of my life. Sounds exciting doesn't it?

No inhibitions, no limits. No reason to hide. No second guessing -- and certainly no excuses not to do anything.

My fat as a grown-up security blanket? I never saw it like that before today. Maybe it is? Maybe I've really been in denial all this time. Maybe I'm not as secure and confident as I always thought I was.

Doesn't really matter though -- because I'm going for the full monty this time.

Watch out for a new Leah -- one I hope you recognize -- one I hope you love and embrace as much as I will. I can't wait to reveal the thin person within. I've been trapped inside too long -- got too comfy and lazy and gave up and gave in for too long.

It's time to change -- to grow -- to not be afraid of my new body.

The second 6 weeks starts Monday. Half-way to 3 months. The changes have already begun.

Remember the old Leah -- for that person is no more -- and make room for the new Leah -- for she is alive and well and ready to face this new reality.

My love to all --

You Go Girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wish i could feel that way too, it has been years ago since i felt that way and i don't have the patience to do it again.
congrats on that feeling
What plan are you following and how much weight did you lose.
thanks and looking forward to hear from you.

I like what you've said... it's pretty, and very inspiring.

Think of it as a cocoon, or an older skin that you're sheading because you've grown. You've spent a lot of your life in that old skin, but now it's time to move on to better things. As you said, no inhibitions.

I've often wondered what happens to the weight you burn off.. I honestly don't know. It's a single pound for every 3,500 calories burnt, but where do they go? I guess they fuel your existance as you're burning more? I don't know at all.

You may think you still have a long while to go still, but look at what you've achieved. It's a very impressive feat. Congratulations.

Thanks so much for the reply to this thread. It's aways a joy to know that I've inspired someone else -- thanks for letting me know. I sincerely appreciate it.

As far as where the metabolized fat goes -- check your urine -- seems like mine always looks like it has an oil slick on it now! I think I'm passing it out of my body -- all that fatty oil -- down the tubes!!

Have a great night!

-Leah

Are you on Xenical, perchance?

Please considering seeing your physician to ask for a urinalysis. Fat is burned, not excreted in our urine. If you have something visible in your urine, it is probably the result of any number of abnormal conditions and should be treated.

When we lose weight, our fat cells remain, they never go away. The fat inside them is burned for energy, and unfortunately can fill up again.

Leah, congratulations on your success so far! You have a great attitude and it's inspirational to see how good you feel about yourself. A positive attitude goes a long way with making any diet plan successful

Ruthxxx, no, I'm not taking any weightloss drugs -- only vitamin supplements. I'm doing the 6 week body makeover plan from michael thurmond. AWESOME plan!

Suzanne -- thanks for the kudos and the info regarding my urine. Of course, I will bring it up to my doctor the next time I see him.

Hi,
I've also heard that fat in the urine can be a sign of kidney dysfunction...You should probably see your MD. I don't think it's normal to lose fat in the urine...Kidneys aren't supposed to function that way.

Wow -thank you for that post.

I've been away from this site for ages - and had a bad time with my depression as well. My weight has gone up again and I was feeling very low. I got up my nerve to come and have a read and your post was very inspirational.
Every time I lose weight I find myself suddenly eating more, as if to sabotage all my efforts, as if I am afraid of losing that convenient thing to blame everythng on. I am determined to get over this, and it's good to know that other people can find the loss a bit daunting. THank you!

http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...318/weight.png

That's amazing, you're amazing!

I know how that feels, and I'm so happy for you. Seriously, reading your post is inspiring. I can really feel your excitement and enthusiasm, and it's contagious.

Go YOU!

I agree, hearing you say those things is very inspiring.

Thanks for that extra push! Keep up the good work!