This may sound depressing...but if it were meant to be, it probably would have already taken place. Not in a foofy, "destiny" sort of way but in a very practical one.
Let me explain: If you two really wanted, deep down, to be together in a "relationship" sort of way, then it would have happened. You would not, for one thing, have lost touch at all. The U.S. Post Office was in full effect ten years ago. And the internet was coming into full bloom, and that's free.
I too had a relationship that came back, sort of, 10 years later. Now, the difference is that we weren't just friends with undertones, but it was a whole-nine-yards kind of thing. Stupid stuff got in the way. Well, 10 years later I got an e-mail from him. He had been searching for me "all that time," even through a marriage, a divorce, a son, etc. Well, you know what? In that time...nothing truly changed. He was still him, and I was still me, and even though we could have come sooooooooooooo close, that one little bit was missing. I don't know what that little bit WAS...just that it was missing. Something somehow did not click in the final analysis.
It sounds cliche, but sadly, it's true: sometimes love ISN'T enough. And most of us have that one person who we always think "what if?"...but once reality rears its ugly head, it falls flat. Like your friend having access to you now by phone, e-mail and even visiting, but he just can't seem to pull his own weight with his end of the relationship (as friends or whatever it may be).
I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I've been there and I totally understand. There is just always that one relationship (friends and/or more) that never works out, and as many times as you say "what if," the answer to that really is staring you in the face already. There was plenty of opportunity for the two of you to be together as more than friends, before you were married. And even after you were both married, there surely was plenty of opportunity to be together as just friends. It didn't happen. More recently, you were in touch again but you can see that he's flaked yet again. That's his pattern, hon. And that's that. I am so sorry.