Ok, step one We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable. was a pretty rough one for me. A long time coming, I finally took the first step. Food has been controlling my life for entirely way to long and I'm fed up with it

I took the first step, and walked into an OA meeting. And I have it scheduled in that I'm going tomorrow to one as well. I am figuring this whole thing out, all the while trying to take my mind off of the food. (As you may be able to tell from my excessive posting here, this site has been a great help in my journey.)

Realizing that I am not just lacking in self control, but that I have a disease was a tough step for me. I could tell you some nasty stories about the past few months of my life and the things I've done to be able to binge. (I made my husband promise to help me on my "diet" and for 2 months straight I was with him 24 hours a day due to his job, and I still found a way to sneak food... if that doesn't paint a clear enough picture, you don't want to know ) But at the first meeting, I realized that this is a disease, and that I need help.

So I spent some time today reflecting and reading over the OA paperwork that they give you at your first meeting. I swear, it was like I was seeing things in a whole new way! I couldn't believe it

So I'm starting to look at step two Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

First off, I'm a bit worried that I'm moving to quickly Like perhaps I didn't spend enough time in step one. (Although I don't know what more I can do rather than reflect on how pitiful this disease has made me!)

But I'm also a little skeptical about this greater power thing. I'm not sure I ever had sanity But honestly, I'm just not sure how to even begin to approach this...

Are you ready for a sponsor? A sponsor is someone who will help you work through the steps. You talk, phone, or email them each day. They give you reading and writing assignments, and help you figure out your definition of abstinence. Of course they do a whole lot more, but that's a good place to start. You pick your own sponsor.

It's okay to be skeptical about the higher power thing...many people are when they first start out. Remember that you decide what your definition of a higher power is. For some people it's the group at their meeting, for some it's the ceiling in their room, for some it's God. Often the idea of the higher power changes as people work the steps. What's important is that you are WILLING to consider a higher power.

I suppose I hadn't even thought of a sponsor. I just didn't know how that whole thing worked!

How do you select a sponsor? Just start talking to someone at the meeting? I would love to have someone to contact outside of the meetings, and on the phone (don't get me wrong, you all are a wonderful help here...but I'm sure you understand that physical and vocal contact are VERY important!)

I'm getting anxious about tonight's meeting... I'm going at 7:30 pm, and I'm a little anxious...

I chose my sponsor based on what I heard her saying in meetings. She made a lot of sense, she communicated clearly, she had been successful in losing weight on the program, and she seemed nice. At each of our meetings the people who are available to sponsor introduce themselves during the meeting. If that doesn't happen at your meeting, ask someone to tell you who the sponsors are so that you can start thinking about it. Sponsors are people just like you who had the guidance of their own sponsor, and now they are ready to give that help to someone else.

Hope your meeting tonight is great!

I didn't get to the meeting

Well I did... and all the literature I have (the OA website as well as a list of meetings I got at the last meeting) said that the meeting started at 7:30. So I figured I'd go early, got there at 7pm... and when I walked down to the room, it was already in process!! So I didn't want to just walk in. (Sorry, still too shy for that step!) and so I left Rather disappointed actually

Well, you got yourself down there and inside the building--tough enough on its own. Remember the last meeting when it was hard to get out of your car? You are making progress. :-)

Oh! I just thought of something. Are you sure that it was YOUR meeting that was in process? The place where we meet has different meetings going all day long. Maybe it was a different meeting that hadn't ended yet?

Nope, I waited around until 7:30, walking past a few times... and indeed it was an OA meeting (the only one going on tonight)

But you're very right! I am proud of myself for making it there!

I'll go Saturday morning