Hi wonderful ladies.. OMG its almost 3pm and Im meeting this guy who I met at a bar a few weeks ago for the first time since then. We've been talking on the phone a bit and had some good conversations and now he is coming over tonight to hang out! And my nerves are getting the best of me..
I have been excercising diligently in anticipation for this night but I still feel, when I looked in the mirror, totally embarassed by how I look. Even though I do a boot camp training, run do all these things that I SHOULD be looking more in shape but it looks horrible.. I even went tanning (I know!! bad!) so I could somehow make my body look alittle more appealing.. I just dont understand why he would even want to touch me, when I look like this!?? Or maybe he has sort of forgotten or made me out to be this better looking girl than I am and he'll be all disapointed (but nice Im sure) when he sees me..
Im sure ALL of you have said this at one point or another.. If only I were slim.... life would be so easy..
and I know it wouldnt be,, but for now, this is the ONLY thing that is making me feel like I should just cancel. Its just too much maybe right now!! But Im sooo ready to have someone in my life,. I havent had someone I actually like in my life for a while. I always settle for the ones Im not that attracted to and dont get hit on alot, because its easier than actually trying to get the attention of the ones that I do like. but now its happening.. I have his attention.. and Im scared shitless!!!
I think what I need right now is just some, 'support', shared stories,to hear that having bigger thighs, a belly that hangs over my undies is not reason to hide, and he probably likes me for.. me?! I guess Ive answered my own question,.. I just wish I could feel good about myself...