I am really happy to have found this thread. Like many of you, I am sick of "being on a diet", I even find I resent the phrase and what it means to me. I read someplace that when you are eating, if you listen to your body, you will sigh when you are full. It's wierd and it takes some practice to catch it, but it seems to work for me. If anything it's practice in listening to your internal cues.
When I was trying to quit smoking and someone would offer me a cigarette, I'd say "no thanks, I'm trying to quit". I am taking the same approach to crappy foods. I do allow myself some, like today I'm having a small slice of birthday cake for a coworker's birthday, but otherwise, when I see the candy dishes at work, I tell them I'm trying to cut down or I'm trying to quit. It helps me to keep myself in check but it also lets others know that I appreciate that they are trying to include me, but I'm okay.
It's easier for me to just concentrate on eating right. I still keep calories in mind because it's a hard habit to break, but it does help me to talk myself out of emotionally driven, bad choices.