Success story gone terrible bad, trying again..

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  • Hi everyone.

    I'm sure some of you will remember me but I'll give a quick run down of my past situation. On 1/12/04 I decided I hated being fat, wanted to be more mobile to do things with my then 1 1/2 year old son, wanted to get off blood pressure meds etc. Between 1/12/04 and 11/15/04 I lost a whopping 96 lbs my eating a low fat diet and walking 20 miles per week on my treadmill. I decided to "take the holidays off" and never got back on track. I haven't weighed myself in 2+ weeks but at last weigh in I'd gained back 70+ lbs.

    I've been beating myself up over and over the last 6 months about how did I lose so much, just to sabotage myself and gain so much of it back. I know that I can't change what's already been done but does anyone have any helpful hints on how to just let go of that? I try to tell myself I've done it before (in the recent past even) and I can do it again and I try to believe that but that feeling doesn't stick.

    I'm starting again tomorrow morning. I can't be this heavy forever. My son is now 3 1/2 and I need to be healthy and active for him and for myself as well. I'm turning 40 this summer and I want to be healthier and lighter in my 40's than I was in my 20's or 30's.

    The last time I was here everyone was so positive and such a huge support. I lurk here constantly and am always amazed at how much you all encourage and support each other. I remember that from before but since I'm "out of the loop" right now, I get to see if from an outsiders perspective and you're all great!

    I'm here to stay this time, looking forward to getting reaquainted with the people from before and looking to get to know all the people who's started since I left.

    Happy New Year everyone!
  • Ingrid,

    I can so understand how you feel right now. I hate paying for the same ground twice. It still gets to me if I gain and have to lose it over again. I have gotten better about it - someone said the only way you can be defeated is if you quit. I think those of us that have a lot of weight to lose - it is such a mind game to stay the course - to make those healthy changes that we make become a part of our life. Old behavior is so easy to come back to.

    I use so many tools that I have picked up from others - things to help me turn health choices into a lifestyle. I like to say that every time you make the choice to eat something you have a chance to make the right choice. It is so easy to say, I will start tomorrow, I will start on Monday - for me, there is no start because it is a continuous process. Every time is a chance to make a healthy choice. When you don't - well own up to it, learn from it - write down 5 ways to cope with whatever feelings you had that kept you from making the healthy choice and keep going. It is cliqued into the ground but oh so true - fall down 7 times get up 8.

    I know you can do it. I wish you the very best.
  • Hi Ingrid, welcome back sweetie! Please don't be too hard on yourself, it happens to the best of us. Hmmm, advice for letting it go? I'll just offer this; what's done is done. What good would it do to beat yourself up over it by dwelling on it, besides guilting yourself into the same old vicious cycle? You can make the choice to put it behind you, and focus entirely on the here and now. Acceptance is a wonderfully liberating thing; I highly recommend it! No matter what, you've made a courageous first step by coming back here for some unbelievable support and perhaps a little butt kicking?!! Like you said, you've done this before, you can do this again. Good luck Ingrid, and again, welcome back!

    Beverly
  • Welcome back, Ingrid.

    You can do this!
  • Welcome back! What Beverly said. Stick around no matter what, okay?
  • First of all, welcome back and congratualtions on getting back on track. I agree with the others that you just have to let go of the past. Try and think of your current weight as your starting weight and give yourself a clean slate to begin with. It truly doesn't matter where you've been, it only matters where you are going.
  • Welcome back, Ingrid. I know you feel bad about what happened, but its a lesson learned. Now you can move on not only knowing what you have to do, but knowing what you mustn't do! This time you're not going into unknown territory, you did it before and were successful; that puts you ahead of the game! Tomorrow is a new day, in a new month, in a new year - go forth into it with a great new attitude! Forget that you gained (as Apryl once said, you can't uneat what you ate, so there's no point wasting energy fretting about it). Instead, remember how great it felt losing that 96lbs. and focus on having that feeling all over again! Aren't you excited?? You go girl!!
  • Welcome back Ingrid....I know you can do this...and so do you, you've done it before right?

    So here's to your new beginning




    xoxoxoxo
    Linda
  • I know just how you feel since I have done the same thing. I lost almost 75 lbs a few years ago and gained it back with a few more for good measure. I know where I went wrong. I was working so hard top lose those last 20 something lbs so I would fit into a correct height/weight ratio. I exercised like a fiend, was constantly sore and half starved most of the time. I had read so much about how when you hit a plateau you need to up your workout and all that drivel. I did that until I totally burnt out and just could not bear the idea of exercising. Overtime I just gained the weight back and was totally worn out from all my original work. It has taken me a long time to get my head around trying again. I know for sure this time I will not make the same mistake. It was so stupid to not listen to my body and not get so obsessive.
  • Ingrid,

    Welcome back to 3FC. I am new here but can relate to your story very well. I have lost and gained literally 100s of pounds over the years. Everyone who says let the past go is absolutely right. You can not think about the yesterdays only the todays.

    Good Luck! Keep your Chin up!!

    This has been the best support place I have seen!
  • Welcome back!! I know you can do this. Try not to beat yourself up. What's done is done and focusing on it will only make things worse. We are here for you.
  • Ok, the good news is that you KNOW you can do this. You've done it before. You learned something new that you can apply to your future. Now get out there and do it girl!
  • Welcome back. It's nice to meet you.
  • I've been there too. I went from 200lbs to 135 in college, only to gain it all back and a whole lot more on top of it. I feel a lot more prepared to keep the weight off this time around. You can do it to!
  • Yikes... your story sounds familiar! I began Weight Watchers summer 2003 and quickly (and rather painlessly, to my surprise) lost 40 lbs. I started at 310 lbs, lost down to 270 by Christmas, then I didn't just fall off the wagon...I took a flying leap! I began WW again in earnest this week, weighing in at 280 lbs, not the right direction! But, I was happy at gaining back only 10 lbs in 2 years... still, 280???

    I, too, will turn 40 (me?40?!) this summer, and have set my goal to lose 50 lbs by then through exercising (treadmill), keeping a food journal, and counting those points!

    We know it can be done, we have done it in the past...so let's do it again!!!