Wow Gonna, that whole scenario just SUCKS! I've seen some other ladies post about the affect of hormone levels on metabolism. You might ask the doctor about that. I don't know how old you are, but some of the perimenopause things can start quite early in some women. If nothing else, it might be an avenue to check just to see.
The ONLY other thing I can think of suggesting is to maybe exercise first thing in the morning? Like...maybe it will help to rev your metabolism a bit through the day? (Exercise, then eat). Hmmm...this whole thing sounds like trying to get my old lawnmower engine to run..... (I hope you laugh at that--I would just be SO frustrated in your shoes).
Tracy