I'm with Jawsmom. My goal in this was to change the way I think about and use food. I had to discard my "fat" mentality rather than figure out how to satisfy it and still lose weight. I could write a book about this, but here's the jist:
- I had a deeply ingrained, life-long problem with compulsive overeating and obesity. I had come to realize that the entire way I approached the world lead to my attitude about food. In order to lose weight and KEEP it off, I had to face that reality.
- That reality meant that I had to treat my condition like a disease which I would manage (not cure) through a healthier lifestyle.
- I hoped that one day I could have "treat" foods occasionally, and not have them trigger an overeating episode. Over time (in the months leading up to starting my program) I made peace with the idea that there were certain foods I might never have again. So be it.
- I knew -- finally -- that a key to my success was going to be setting myself up for success. In other words, I would not throw needless temptation into my own face. That meant, in part, that I had to put myself through essentially a detox period. I needed to let the part of me that loved large quantities of calorie-dense food atrophy. Feeding it only kept it alive. Even watching food commercials on TV -- not to mention reading recipes, etc. -- feed the beast, as well. So, I cut myself off from my primary hobby -- cooking and reading about food -- in order to dry up those wants.
- I had to change my attitude about those treats I wasn't having, too. The more time and energy I spent mourning them, wishing I could have them, etc., the more I wanted them. I needed to apply my energy to POSITIVE thoughts. For example, rather than telling myself I was "deprived," I reminded myself that I was never going to be like other people who either didn't care what they ate or could eat what they wanted without gaining. I was no longer a person who WANTED to eat without limits. I told myself this constantly even when I didn't feel it. Eventually I came to feel it.
Now, here I am 4 years later and here's my reality: Over the years I gradually incorporated richer foods. If I really really want something I'll have it, but I am much more selective about heeding that call. Having a treat isn't about a schedule or an initial impulse or external cues (i.e., movies = popcorn) -- it's about making thoughtful choices each day, each meal, each bite. I still have a problem with triggering, so when I'm feeling vulnerable I will protect myself by not having any rather than risk going overboard. Even when I do, I do not feel deprived, ever, even if I go weeks or months completely on plan. That's not because I'm different from any of you. It's because I finally recognize the difference between "fat" behaviors and attitudes, and healthy ones. Think about it: How many "naturally" slim people have a "cheat day?" Sure, they'll indulge in treats every now and then, and they may be health-conscious and watch what they eat, and cut back one day if they overdo it the day before. But they don't go around whining about all the food they can't have and figuring out ways to have it, and going through rituals of rationalization to let themselves off the hook.
One last thing ... I've said this many times before, but the language we use to talk to ourselves and each other is very powerful. It shapes our attitudes and the way we look at the world. Because of this, there are certain words I refuse to use in this context because they are so loaded and negative. One of them is "cheat." Dieters cheat. People who still want to live in their old fat food world cheat. Using the word cheat implies that you are being "bad" rather than making a conscious, well-considered choice. If you are reshaping your relationship with food, and putting richer foods in a different context, then there is no such thing as cheating.