1. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus:
A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole.
3. Intaxication:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy:
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis:
Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis:
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido:
All talk and no action.
15 Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
