Hey all. Here I am, cranky AGAIN. I can't even blame TOM this time. I'm just good old fashioned funked out. No real explanation. My DD is a spark (6 yo guides) and is selling cookies. Guess who ate about 10 without even realizing it? I'll give you a hint - it wasn't DH, DS, or DD

I have got to get motivated and back on track. I am so tired all the time and it feels like too much energy to plan meals that are what I should eat. I made a healthy meal yesterday, but ate way too much. I have to go into the city again for 3 days this week and have the challenge of eating out and being fed at the meetings. Yuck. The little one is sick and clinging to me. Poor baby. There are days that my energy is just zero and this is one of them. Exercise? Haven't even tried. I walk a little when I can get away.

I tell myself that I really want to be healthy, but keep doing stuff that isn't healthy. I feel weak and out of willpower. I'm embarassed to admit all this stuff. I just can't believe how hard this is. I did post on the journal for a few days and it was just too depressing b/c I couldn't stick with anything.

Any suggestions out there for picking up, dusting off and getting on with it?? (and no, I don't think I'm clinically depressed. I've been down that road and this isn't the same one)

Welcome friend. I have been where you are. Where I just won't (not can't...won't) stick to anything. I think the best place to start is baby steps. What can you do starting right now? Sweets? Can you give up sweets starting now? I know it seems like you'll never win. But you just can't give up? Where will you be then? What is one small thing you can start with??

Sherri, I am so there with you! I have been battling not being on plan for about a month. Every morning I wake with the absolute best intentions, and then for one reason or another I blow the day, which then the domino effect kicks in and then I have blown the week, and then whoops! wouldn't you know a month has gone by. I find by just reading the threads it helps me quite a bit. I am almost over the hump, and with the holidays around the corner, I find my resolve had gotten a lot better.

Thanks Carol and Sandi. I appreciate the thoughts. I do have great intentions in the am and then it just slips away. You're right about the "won't" Sandi. I will try to think of a change I can make today. I am home with my "sickie" so I'll have a little time to reflect I hope. At least I didn't just walk away this time as I would have in the past. Never tried online support until this fall. It does help. I'm not gaining, so that's the good news. I am so amazed at how well most folks on this board do. I think attitude is at the heart of it all. I need to find the right one for me. It's strange how I think I've decided to change and then I don't. I need to figure out what's going on for me. Though you wouldn't know it from my posts lately, I am really a positive person at heart. You're right though. I can't give up. I "won't". Thanks

I'm going to borry Nike's catch phrase and say "just do it." I know many times it is easier said than done. All last week I had plans of doing my exercise in the mornings (getting up before everyone else) but my body had other plans and I slept in. I was going to ride my bike one day but I had to listen to a screaming crying 3 yo for a 30 minute drive and it drained me. I used that day as my 1 day of rest. So what did I do the other days? I like watching TV so I would walk/jog during my favorite programs in the evenings. Sure I didn't get to walk the entire time because I had this kid or that needing my attention but I did put in quite the effort.

I think the baby steps is a great idea if you are feeling overwhelmed. Choose today to have a healthy lunch. Just worry about your lunch. Tomorrow add breakfast and have a healthy lunch and breakfast. Next day, add dinner. Day after add 10 minutes, of exercise. Etc.

As for your journaling. Please continue. I know that it may depress you to write about all your "failures" but at some point you may actually uncover why you are failing and be able to correct. it.

Yeah, I know where you're coming from. The excitement is over and you're losing that initial drive that got you so gung ho about changing your life in the first place. Now comes the sucky hard part where the reality of what you've committed yourself to has really set in. Perhaps you're feeling a little resentful that this is the way you have to live if you want to get healthy and achieve your goals? I know I felt that way a lot! But like Dawnyal mentioned, it's gonna take just doin it, whether you really want to or not. I mean, who really wants to take out the trash or wash the dishes? No one I know! But that doesn't mean we don't do it, we know we have to and we just gitter done! Nothing glamorous or exciting, just living life differently than what you've previously grown accustomed to. I always like Sandi's approach, baby step your way to success and a brand new lifestyle. You certainly can't be expected to change everything all at once, but changing one thing at a time, yeah, that's doable! So, recommit to yourself and your goals Sherri, after all, you are still a work in progress, right?

Beverly

Sherrie, I could have written that post, it described how I am doing and feeling to the letter. It is so darned hard some days to do anything besides getting out of bed. I'm not depressed either and generally very positive but this weight has really been dragging my life down even though I didn't really realize it. I think starting with really small steps is helpful. Recently I've made it a goal to not eat after supper, no night time snacking!! It's a start, we've all got to start somewhere!

Thanks for the support folks. My focus for the next few days is to quit "picking". I eat a ton of food without intending to - cleaning plates, making snacks, "tasting" when cooking etc. My breakfasts have been going pretty good so next I'll pay more attention at lunch. If all goes well over the next week I may try South Beach again. It worked really well earlier in the summer for me. Really tough but did help the cravings. Have a great tomorrow.

I just re-read my post and it sounded snotty, especially since that just do it attitude doesn't always work for me. Sometimes I have to bargain with myself and tell me that I will just do sometimes 5 minutes of exercise and then go for 10. Once you do get going it does get easier as it becomes more of a habit.

I think there's a book called Change One that talks about just that, changing one thing at a time. Before you know it you are a healthy eater, exercise guru and in great health/shape.

Don't give up ever and you will get there. It's taken me just over years to lose the 45 pounds (I actually had lost 67 in a little over a year and gained some back) Throughout it all I've reminded myself that this is for the rest of my life and if it takes me 5 years to lose the weight, I can live with that. The alternative is to give up, gain more weight and just wait for the diseases to debilitate me.

I didn't think it sounded snotty


xoxo
Linda

Me either. No "snottiness" was felt. Thanks for the reading suggestion. We don't have a very big library here but I'll have a look. Who is the author? Those diseases and wanting to be around for my kids (as well as a good role model) are my main motivators. Took years to gain the weight (even tho I feel like I woke up fat one day ) I guess it's ok to take awhile to get healthier. Even a 5% loss has a huge impact on biochemistry and risks. Thanks!