Synger, thanks for the concern on the calories. Trust me, I NEVER let myself go hungry. I noticed that during the day I'm not as hungry as I am at night, that is why I am trying this diet. I eat three lean meals and then at night, when I get my major hunger, I snack. Usually, this would be something very fattening, but now I am trying cheese rice cakes, fruit, or low cal/low fat splenda substituted ice cream. That builds up my calorie intake for the day quite a bit. I try not to go under 1200 and I am definately not trying to starve myself. I'm having a hard time finding a happy medium but seeing everyone else's plans gives me great ideas and motivation.

Jennelle - glad to see you made your way back here and took the time to write down exactly what your actions (and reactions) were to the stress and PMS. Hopefully this exercise will help you come to a better understanding of what drives you. I don't know what it takes for us to realize its not all smoke and mirrors and that we're all pretty capable, intelligent and worthwhile beings. In your case, seeing as you're studying for your master's degree, I very much doubt you were able to "fool" anyone to get that far ~ if that was the case though, it would be an amazing feat in itself! I agree with the others that a more substantial lunch and a few extra snacks to "keep the beast at bay" as Synger says, could work wonders for you. Keep in mind what Sandi said about trigger foods. You already know what the binge trigger situations are, but sometimes you can mentally fight off a binge, only to fall victim to a trigger food! After all, we HAVE to eat, but I know even the smallest snack of something cheesy, salty or spicy can throw me off when I'm in that "mood". Please keep posting and letting us know how it all goes!

I'm definitely trying that zucchini recipe, Synger ~ it sounds delish and I adore zucchini!

Good job on starting off your day with exercise, Dawnyal ~ talk about reving up the metabolism. Sandi, I can't imagine getting up at 4:30 a.m., but if it works for you and you can exercise at that ungodly hour, then you're my hero! I had to chuckle about you interrupting your walk to chat with new neighbours ~ it reminds me how sociable you are. No doubt you'll be arranging Bunko parties soon.

Hope you're hubby cooks you up a nice healthy meal tonight, Dawnyal. Oh, and glad to hear you're not "unloved and trying to be shoved out the door at work" ~ that must be a relief.

Welcome to the thread, Venus. I agree that your "eats" looks too meagre and hope its very short term. Your "real" plan of limiting portion size and eating healthy foods will very likely be much more successful in the long run (and easier to keep to). Remember, you have to eat to lose weight and severe calorie reduction diets result in short term water loss only and slow down the metabolism to a standstill. We care about you here and want you to make a healthy lifestyle change rather than lose a quick 10lbs.

Enjoy your yoga class, Beth ~ exercise in a positive, supportive atmosphere sounds great!

What a tease you are, Jillybean! First you go missing for a few days without explanation and then tell us all will be honky-dory after you receive a phone call around 10-11am... Well?? its afternoon now! What was the call about and can we uncross our fingers yet?

A jr whopper with no cheese or mayo is 390 calories, Omega Laura?! I thought most of the calories would be in the cheese and mayo, after all, a small hamburger bun isn't much. I guess they don't use very lean ground beef, but still...390 calories is outrageous!

Early happy 4th birthday to Alpha-Laura's dd tomorrow! I remember those days and no doubt you will be so busy and run off your feet you won't have the opportunity to overeat!

Monday
Points
Morning
5 - breakfast parfait *
0 - caffeine-free tea
Mid-morning
1 - watermelon
0 - spring water
Lunch
6 - homemade tuna/veggie/pasta salad **
0 - Perrier water
Mid-afternoon
1 - seedless grapes
0 - spring water
Dinner
0 - salad of fresh spinach and fresh sliced mushrooms
2 - hard-boiled egg crumpled into salad
3 - diced grilled chicken (white meat) tossed in salad with
2 - yogurt dill dressing
1 - watermelon
0 - spring water
Evening
2 - two Twizzler licorice sticks
0 - grapefruit flavoured water
0 - caffeine-free tea
23 total (one over target)

* Layer in a parfait glass: Astro fat-free, sugar free banana yogurt, thin banana slices, 1tsp. peanut butter, Kashi Go Lean crunch (total of 1/2c), repeat.

** cooked whole wheat and vegetable pasta, 2 tins water packed tuna, diced tomato, celery, vidalia onion, green and red peppers and carrots tossed in fat-free italian dressing and chilled for a couple of hours.

Exercise: 20 minute morning walk with dog and long evening walk (at least 3km).

hehe, sorry to have been mysterious--I forget what infor I post on which boards around here We spent the majority of our weekend apartment searching in Alexandria. We worked through many frustrations (apartments they said would be available on Friday were rented out already when we arrived on Saturday, they had no vacant units to show us, all kinds of annoyances), and finally settled upon the winner. We diligently filled out our applications, and I brought them by yesterday, but then Jeff had to go after work to sign some addendum that they never told us about in order for them to have permission to pull his credit info. So, they couldn't process our applications until today--she said this morning, but I still have not heard from them, and it is now 1pm! I need to know if we are moving there or not! I'm going to go call her right now...

*UPDATE*: Yup, we got it, and since we both have such stellar credit, we have NO security deposit

Sorry Venus ~ you posted while I was writing my marathon post so I didn't get to see that you're not starving yourself after all! I should have known Boiaby would only send sensible people here!

Congrats on getting the apt., Jill, how exciting for you! Will this be your first home together? I haven't been to Alexandria in years, but back in the 80's I remember it being very historic (went on a walking tour of the old town where there were cobblestone streets and lovely colonial houses). Do you work in DC or on the other side of the Potomac?

Yeah Jilly That is great on getting the appt.

Well talked with hubby and he is making spaghetti for dinner. Add a salad to that and my total calories for the day are only 1100. Even if I add another cup of spaghetti noodles that still puts me at 1300. I feel like I've had a ton more than that but I'll take it.

I can honestly say it wasn't hunger that made me eat. Even though I'd eaten lightly that day, I wasn't physically hungry. With PMS the few days before, I'd done a lot of "grazing", and that few days after my "grazing" period, I'm just not hungry. The entire episode was triggered solely by emotion. And, while I appreciate the suggestion that my binge could have been triggered by not eating much, truthfully, eating a "full" dinner wouldn't have helped at all in this situation. I have been known to binge to the point of actually feeling food backing up into my esophagus - I KNOW I'm not hungry, I KNOW I should stop, but I am mentally UNABLE.

I know it probably sounds like I should be posting on the eating disorders board, but - for me, anyway - "being gentle with myself" just ain't doin' it. I've "gentled" myself up to damn near a deuce and a half! I feel like my situation might be quite removed from some here, but I know that you guys will be supportive of my efforts to get the weight OFF, whether or not you totally understand my messed-up head.

Alright! Welcome back to Sandi. I'm so happy you're back! And to everyone else: STAY HERE.

Alright, it wasn't very good today, but I was camping and I'm sorry.

B: Life cereal w/ Skim milk, orange juice
L: 2 hot dogs w/ buns and ketchup and some wheat thins
D: 2 chicken strips, mashed potatoes w/ gravy, coleslaw and a biscuit

Okay, Jennelle, I won't be gentle with you; not because I don't totally understand your "messed up head", but because you're looking for some tough love and I'll give it if it helps! So I'm telling you right now to post here, damnit, whether you have PMS or not and whether you ate well or not! I want you to keep examining your emotional triggers and working out how to deal with them. Thinking about it is fine, but sometimes when you write something down it falls into place (much like how you discovered your "1/2lb.").

When you do well, I'll praise you and when you don't I'll badger you into an explanation of what happened and what can be done to prevent it next time, okay? As for totally understanding, I think we all have an understanding at some level, otherwise we wouldn't have ever become over 100lbs. overweight. I don't consider myself to have a classic eating disorder (though I wonder how it is my stomach can be a bottomless pit), I do know I've regularly overeaten for reasons other than hunger (usually to provide short-term emotional comfort ~resulting in long-term self loathing ~ and I've certainly overeaten to punish myself (which is a little scary). As I became obese I would go to buffets and visit the table again and again until I was so full I physically hurt (at which time I definitely was NOT enjoying what I was consuming, but felt powerless to stop). In high school I didn't have a weight problem, but didn't have a problem sticking my toothbrush down my throat to throw up after overeating so I wouldn't "get fat", either. So while I don't feel I have an eating disorder per se, I know I've had food issues for a very, very long time and continue to strive to overcome them once and for all. Knowing there's others in the same boat and getting support (whether gentle or not) has been a huge benefit to me and I'm grateful.

I'm lucky in that when I have PMS I can't even think about food. Well... I suppose that is a bad thing too. I know that you HAVE to eat something even on days when you don't even want to LOOK at food. My plan now that I am working on this weight loss is use those days to nibble on fruits and veggies.

Here is an unrelated question. I'm new here, so I want to ask if it's okay to post a thread when you need to rant about the emotional side of being heavy or would that belong in a different forum like "depression and weight issues"?

Jill, you understand me perfectly.

And the only reason I never became a bulimic is because I hate to barf.

Venus--You post wherever you darn well please! If it's truly inappropriate, the moderators will move it, but that's a rarity. Post anything you want here at the 100+ group--believe me, no topic seems to be taboo, and even normal topics often seem to go awry

I'm still on about the new apartment. Yes, it will be the first time Jeff and I cohabitate He currently lives with his older cousins and their 3 sons, so he's anxious to get out and have some privacy once in a while! I can't wait till I get to see him EVERY weeknight instead of only on weekends. Here's hoping that feeling lasts and we don't end up killing each other

I actually work in northern VA about 33 miles from the new apartment. Jeff has the tougher commute (I go in to the office for 6am, so traffic is a non-issue, thank GOD, as traffic here is a NIGHTMARE!). It's about 27 miles from the apartment to his office, but he has to cross the Woodrow Wilson Bridge into MD, which in itself is a pain, but he should be going the opposite direction of the main flow of traffic, so hopefully, it will be tolerable. Neither one of us wants to leave our current jobs now, so this was the best compromise.

Back to food--today's eats:

• scrambled eggs and sausage
• fruit galore
• ham and pineapple chunks

Jilly, I understand the commute thing. I'm up in Germantown, and drive to metro then take a train into DC to work downtown (12th and Pennsylvania). I hear the traffic reports every day and am SO glad I have the Metro option. I'd hate to drive the whole commute.

Venus, definitely start a new post if you feel the need. The YadaYada thread is good for day-to-day stuff, though most people seem to post in buddy or exercise instead. But if you're needing to vent, or you find something cool, or you need to crow, feel free to post a new thread. We'll be right there commiserating or cheering.

TUESDAY

Breakfast:
walnuts (pre-commute)
apple
cottage cheese

Lunch:
roasted turkey
cabbage
tomato veggie soup

Afternoon snack to keep the Beast at bay:
string cheese

Dinner:
half of a half rack of ribs
applesauce
steamed veggies
beer

Snacks throughout the day:

Drinks:
water
coffee w/creamer


Calories:
about 1600

Exercise:
walking, stairs

Well my calories for the day changed yesterday to 1480. I had some sugar free pudding and ate about 1/2 of the spaghetti noodles.

So far today I've had
B-an orange and oatmeal
The rest is proposed
MS-SF jell-o
L-Hearty Chicken and Rotini soup, salad, toast if still hungry
AS-Popcorn
D-TBD

I did only 1 mile WATP this morning. I was super unmotivated and barely made it through it. I'm going to try and do some walking tonight as I watch the Battle of the network reality stars on bravo.

August 23, 2005
B: Bagel with peanut butter and strawberry jam; 3 cups garden salad with turkey and cheese
L: Turkey and Cheese Sandwich; 1 serving Sour Cream and Dill Crunch Bites
D: 1 1/2 c chicken chop suey and rice
S: 2 crunchy peanut butter granola bars; 3 servings Sour Cream and Dill Crunch Bites; 1 1/2 serving choc. graham cracker sticks; 1 1/2 servings cinnamon graham cracker sticks
Beverages: 70 oz water; 20 oz diet mt. dew
*****Total Calories=2236*****
Exercise: 20 minutes Core Exercise

Okay, Jennelle ~ so long as we understand each other.

Go ahead and start a new thread, Venus. As others have said, we cover pretty much everything here (a thread about keeping the bikini area neat and clean went to almost 10 pages and even had contributions from the men!) We discuss serious matters, funny matters, happy, sad and in-between matters. If it concerns you, it concerns us ~ so go ahead!

Tuesday
Points
Morning
1 - 2 slices Weight Watchers 60% whole wheat bread
2 - 1tbsp. peanut butter
2 - 1c 1% milk
Mid-morning
1 - watermelon
0 - 500ml. spring water
Lunch
4 - open-faced salmon sandwich *
4 - smaller portion leftover pasta salad (see yesterday)
0 - Perrier water
Mid-afternoon
0 - caffeine free tea
1 - seedless grapes
Dinner
0 - garden salad (lettuce, tomato, celery, cucumbers)
1 - light balsamic vinaigrette
4 - grilled porkchop (centre loin)
0 - 500ml spring water
Evening
1 - raw carrot and celery sticks
1 - Light ranch dressing
0 - grapefruit flavoured water
22 total

* 1/2 tin sockeye salmon mixed with a little lemon and fat-free mayo, with freshly ground black pepper and diced celery on 1 slice toasted Weight Watchers 60% whole wheat bread

Exercise: morning walk with dog (20mins.), 45mins. trail-walking in evening (rugged terrain)