I did AWESOME yesterday until about 8 PM. I could list the reasons I gave myself for justification, but that's just making excuses so I won't bother. I just pigged out. I ate about 500 calories worth of chocolate. Disgusting!! I did enjoy it at the time but I know it's not worth the calories. I hate that I do this to myself. I'm doing great and then I just mess up completely one day.

I feel gross today, too. I'm not used to eating like that (any more. I used to all the time. Even more disgusting.) and my stomach is pretty uneasy today.

WHY do I do this to myself?

Because your human.

Because you have made heaps of changes and sometimes you just get fed up.

Because there are times in a woman's life when only chocolate will do.

And now you are going to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on plan and put it behind you.

You're not going to make excuses, or let it spiral you into days of bad eating, you're going to learn from it and be stronger as a result.

And you're going to remember I wrote all this for the next time I fall off the wagon

What you should remember, is that it was only 500 calories. It takes 3500 extra calories to gain a pound (or 7 of those chocolate binges!) so there is really no need to beat yourself up.

The thing is-we are all human. We are all going to have a slip up now and then. The key is to get right back on the wagon when there is really little, or no damage-and not let that one incident turn into a 3 week eating binge.

Thanks, aphil and kykaree. I have been back "on" today which is good. I am just so disappointed that I did SO great yesterday. I was at 1400 total for the day which is really pretty good for me and then I blew it. It's so frustrating. I really dislike the fact that I'm such an emotional eater. Good or bad. "My kids are driving me crazy, I deserve chocolate." No, I don't. Chocolate is an occassional treat, not a reward. "I'm no longer classified as obese! I'll celebrate with chocolate." NO, that's a stupid way to celebrate weight loss. It's frustrating. I'm slowly, slowly breaking that cycle but if things are just too rough one day, I still want chocolate.

If it makes you feel any better...with your current weight, 1900 calories (the 1400 you had, then the 500 chocolate) is actually still on the high end of weight loss calories for a lot of people at your current weight. When I started out at 211 pounds, I lost a couple pounds a week at 1800 calories a day, for the first 10 pounds or so. So, you probably didn't do any damage at all.

Kykaree, you are fabulous! I couldn't have said this better myself. In fact some of the same words were already starting to form in my mind before I scrolled down to see your response.

grey eyed girl, this is wonderful advice. Please accept it and don't beat yourself up too bad, it happens to all of us.

Beverly

I know exactly how you feel, we all have those bad days! But what makes it different, is you're back on track already, that's what really matters. Learn from eating the chocolate and if you feel like chocolate some time get a small piece, so you don't end up over-eating on it later. You have lost so much, keep it up, we all know you can do it and you know you can too. Good luck!

How about this: "Damn, I look good in these shorts. I can't believe I fit in em'! It would be a shame for me to look this good in my shorts, and just be sitting around the house in them. Besides, I deserve to have a little fun, I worked this hard to look this good in these shorts." Then, I go out and have several beers while breathing in second-hand smoke all night. Get home, feel like I need to eat to settle my stomach. The next morning, I feel like caca, and realize that I didn't look *that* good. Just *okay*. And realize I probably consumed enough calories through beer to put me off for several days, and am too dehydrated to do my walking. Oh, the humanity.

I have a huge problem with finding reasons to "celebrate" acheivements with things that are counter-productive. Or I have a huge fight with my hubby and when he's apologetic after, I find ways for him to make it up to me with food. (Would you run down to the store and get me a candybar? Or, can we get a pizza? I'm not in the mood to cook.) Or use it as an excuse not to exercise (I feel emotionally drained. I'll sit this one out." Oh, I can find a million reasons to skip exercise and eat crap food if you give me half a chance. "I deserve" is the biggest. Okay, well maybe I do deserve something. But I need to find something else!

Hi praise indeed from one of the queens of fabulousness!!!!

The problem with binges or emotional eating isn't the damage it does to your calorie intake, so much as the dent it puts on your confidence. When I started this journey I wrote a list of all the triggers that I had to eat for reasons other than hunger, and came up with a list of strategies. So far they have worked pretty well. Work is a big one for me and there are endless supplies of evil food at work, and when I am stressed I still reach for food first. Low fat hot chocolate drinks (no substitute for the real thing) are my saviour, partly because of the time factor, boiling the water, stirring the chocolate in, gives you some time to think.

This is hard, eating within calories is fine, but controlling your deepest set instincts and working against what your brain and body is telling you, is really hard. As Meg (one of the marvellous maintainers) has said many times, 95% of the weight loss journey is won or lost in your head.

What Aphil says about the damage to your calorie intake is spot on, just make sure it doesn't undermine your confidence in your abilities to stick at it. You CAN do it, but you have to BELIEVE you can.