Hi,
I Just found this site yesterday and thought it looked like a great place for me. I am 29 and my dh is 34. We have a beautiful dd who just turned 2 in July. She is the light of our lives. Anyway, I have struggled with my weight all my life. I have gone from thin to chubby to everything in between!! Ever since my dd was born 2 yrs ago I really have not even had time to think about taking care of myself. I would like to lose between 30-50 lbs. I have no idea how much I weigh as I refuse to get on a scale at this point. I used to have great will power when it came to losing weight. If I set my mind to it I could always lose the weight I wanted....only to eventually gain it back of course. I would like to get back to the size I was when I was married back in 1997. I felt great about myself back then and haven't felt great since then! My self-esteem has gone way down due to how I feel about myself. If I had my way about it, most days I wouldn't even leave the house. However, I have my dd to think about so that is not an option. I really don't want my dd to sense my weight issues and I certainly don't want to pass them on to her. It just seems like I always start the day off with intentons of eating healthy and exercising, only to fail by lunch time. It makes me feel like such a failure! Anyway, this time I feel that I am ready. I want to get healthy for myself and for my dd. I started today off good and I am still doing good so far (it is 2:15pm). I am just so scared that I am going to fail yet again! I am really hoping I can do it this time. I would like to get pregnant again right off but really don't want to until I can lose some of this extra weight. If you have made it this far thanks! I am just really looking for some shoulders to lean on through this and someone that can relate. Is there anyone else who is just starting out like me?

Sorry not much of this makes sense. I have so much on my mind with all this that I probably am rambling!

I just want to welcome you! I'm not just starting out, but I started out pretty much like you. I'm doing this for my daughters more than for myself. I don't want them to have to struggle to learn about nutrition the way I did!

The onlyl real bit of advice I have for you is to get rid of all the junk food in your hourse. Don't give yourself the excuse that you're keeping it around for your husband. He doesn't need it either! Read labels. Don't buy much (if any) processed foods. Your waistline and your pocketbook will both thank you in the end. Trust me, it doesn't take that much more time to slice a steak & stir-fry it with some frozen veggies than it does to make Hamburger Helper!

You know, when I was first starting out, I started out by strapping my daughter (maybe a month or two old at the time) to my chest and walking around the park. Put your daughter in her stroller, and take a walk. You will feel much better for the sunshine. If you take her to the park, you can get in quite a workout chasing her around the jungle gym! I've done that a lot. (Pushing her in a swing is also great for the arms. )

If you make exercise into play-time, it won't seem like such work. Those elderly mall-walkers have a good idea, you know? Walk around in air conditioning and window-shop. Stuff like that.

Child,you could be my daughter.I will tell you exactly what I'd tell her. Food for most of us is an addiction. Our drug of choice. Will power has little to do with sticking to a diet. First ,to get started I discovered I had to get mad. MAD DOG FIGHTING MAD! I also had to put myself first. A hard thing for a "Mom" to do .I've always been 3rd or 4th on the list. Insist on cooperation from family . Be aware that some will want you to fail for their own reasons. Get tough if you have to,your worth it.Change your view of food. It may mean a differant way of life. Avoid those who insist that "you can eat this one bit,or have this now and diet tomarrow". In AA they call them inablers. They are not acting in your best interest.Infact some will want you to fail. Your failer makes their own easier to live with.Aviod these people at all cost.They are not your friend. I must sound like a militant,maybe I am. I'm in a battle to lose over 100 lbs.I was much like you at your age.Just a few more lbs added each year. If your serious and would like a motherly type ,sometime soft but hard as nails when needed just ask for PamPSM644.

Pam tells it like it is!

(1) Putting your health and well-being first is crucial. If you are neglecting yourself you're not being noble and selfless, you are setting you and your family up for problems down the road. By being fit -- mentally and physically -- you are doing the very best thing you can do to take care of your family.

(2) Sheer will power may get you to goal weight, but as you've already discovered, those results don't last very long. You have the typical "dieter's mentality" which is that "going on a diet" to "lose weight" is what you should be doing. Nothing could be further from the truth. You should approach this as a life-long change in lifestyle. You're not going to temporarily follow an eating plan and workout to get to a goal weight. You are going to change your eating habits to be well-rounded, wholesome, and healthy, and you are going to incorporate activity into your overall way of life. These habits will be how you run your household, how you run the lives of your family, and will be with you forever. Losing weight will be a happy side effect of this. It doesn't matter whether you get to your goal weight next month or by the end of the year or next year or the next. You will learn why you overeat, learn how to deal with life's ups and downs without food. You'll learn what strategies help you avoid old habits and triggers, and use them. You'll learn what activities you enjoy and how you can get more movement into everyday life, and you'll learn that it's FUN and invigorating to be active.

(3) By following 1 and 2, you'll simply be a good role model for your family. There will be not talk of "diets" or weight or "having" to workout and hating it. You'll be serving them healthy food and it'll just be what your family eats. Birthday cake and Grandma's Thanksgiving turkey & dressing will be occasional treats to enjoy in moderation, not poison, and not occasions for binging and/or guilt.

You can do this. You just have to jettison everything society commonly believes about dieting and weight loss. This is not a temporary project so that you can weigh a certain amount. This is a life-long journey that will build healthy habits and a positive attitude that sees wholesome foods as desirable and activity as natural and enjoyable.

Sabra, Pam and Funnigirl , I love your attitudes ...

Liv's Mom just hang with us girl and you will conquer the food and weight ...

Thanks so much for all the responses. I stuck with it yesterday and today I have done well so far also. I even did the elliptical machine this morning!! I do know that this is going to be a life long journey for me. I think that is the part I am having a hard time accepting. I am really trying to change my mind set though, as I know there is no quick fix for this. I really do want to be a good example for my daughter. So, for right now that is my biggest motivator. Thanks again for the warm welcome. Looking forward to getting to know everyone better.

Yay, Liv's Mom! Each day is a victory.

It's hard for me to get my mind around the lifelong thing. I was reading yesterday's USA Today this morning and there was an article about maintaining weight loss. There's a registry of people who've lost weight and kept it off, and what they do is follow a moderate diet and exercise a lot. So I was thinking Snarfleburgers (snarfleburgers being my new swear word; I'm trying to clean things up since my toddler turned into a parrot), I have to keep this up constantly? But then I got up and went back to lifting weights and was thinking Man, I love this s***! So for me, it's cyclical. I'll tell you, nothing matches my motivation on the jogging trail on base on a nice warm sunny day when all the pilots start taking their shirts off...

That registry is talked about at the Maintainers forum here's the link:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34678