Hey there!
I'm so angry with myself!I'm so stupid! I had lost 7 pounds a couple of months ago and now I gained it all back.I'm so grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I'm cheating myself. I eat, and eat and eat. Even if I don't want to eat it's like I'm bringing myself down, like if I deserved to be unhappy, ugly and fat.I'm staying all day at home feeling sorry for myself. I hide it from my parents as I'm on holiday now and I'm spent it in my hometown. I hate me so!I canīt handle me....It's so sad, so helpless....I eat and I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy and eat and so on...I don't have will to change things.Deep inside I'm so blue with all of this, I'm so sick of being fat, of being larger than my friends...I'm letting fat to take control of my life and of my desires, I'm becoming a bitter person...I can't stand in front of a mirror, it makes me too sad. Don't know what to do...I shouldn't even be here annoying all of you that are making such an effort to change your lifes..sorry...

Kisses
maat

hey maat your not annoying me not one bit if anything i can see myself in everything you've just wrote. I lost 100pounds 5 years ago and ive put it all back on, ive had a baby 19mths ago and its taken me that long to get back on the wagon after lots of false starts, im so sick of being fat and really really want to get stuck in and just do it but(the big BUT) somthing inside just wouldn't let me do it, some may say i have no will or control over what i stick in my mouth and this was true. i belive that over eating is a form of self harm as some folks will cut them selfs, i over ate cus i hated everything bout me and what i had became. so your not alone on this theres many people like us out there and i found this site a great inspiration and have been doing well. i hope some of what ive wrote makes any sense to you it sound right in my head when writing this.

Hello Maat. Hello Nicky. Maat I lost over 80 pounds and managed to put most of it back on. The only thing to do is pick yourself back up, shake off the dust and say I will control the food and not let the food control me! ALso there is a wonderful book called the Thin books, awesome for building self esteem. Have a wonderful evening. GOd Bless.

Maat, OMG i know how you feeeeeeel!!!!! AGGHHHH!! i feel like fat ******* (austin powers) sometimes with the whole " i eat because im fat, im fat because i eat" viscious cycle thing. its hard to say no to 10 more cookies if i already ate one, or saying no to a bag of hot cheetos when im already overweight. i hate looking in the mirror and remmebering why my life sucks. you just need to pinpoint one thing in this whole universe that makes you happy or a goal that would make you happy ( mine is to be famous) and realize that the first and most hardest step to get their is losing weight. i had to keep telling myself over and over that after i lose the weight, its a cake walk from there. just keep that one thing in your mind and who cares if it sounds sooo impossible because in this world, anythings possible. including you maat, you becoming the slim, super skinny, you!!!

Powerless is not hopeless. I do the yo-yo thing faster than most can believe. Sometimes when we are not strong enough to do this ourselves we must find a power greater than ourselves to do it for us. For today (and this is the only time most of us have for sure) that can be whatever you need. I call that one God. The God of my understanding is willing to take on every part of me include weightloss and powerlessness over food.

Welcome.
Chris