I'm not really sure what to say, I do know that I am unhappy with my current size, but then again that's something that's never changed. For as long as I can remember, I've been overweight, but I look back at certain time periods and I don't look all that bad. Yet I was still overweight. Does that mean that my self perspective changes with how fat I get? Like, if I get fatter, does that mean I thought I looked better when I was less fat than I am now?
Anyway, like many I've gone up and down on the scale, I'm tired of it. I know I am a beautiful big woman , but for once, just once in my life, I'd like to give being a beautiful small woman a try to see if I like it. I guess for me it's 90% shallow and 10% health. I could run circles around my “fit” friends, and not break a sweat, I never get sick and I've quit smoking again. I find I am getting tired much easier now, must be age. I'd just like to see me in a size that doesn't require it's own specialty store with exorbitant prices and outfits only a grandmother would wear.
I hope I'm not being too negative, because there are some really great stores. I just want to lose a fat percentage of myself, and see if I like what I see. My problem is motivation and energy (which could be revealed as a thyroid problem, when the blood test results come back). I get no support at home, although he loves me at any size. I've learned not to rely on him for support as he says I'm just “big boned” . Don't you just love that one? My mum is great at motivational speaking, except that she too is overweight, yet makes no effort to lose, so I find it hard not to cringe at her adamant theorizing that all I need to do is exercise. My mother-in-law is eager to give advice as well, except that she's never been fat a day in her life, not counting pregnancy. She runs 5 km's every morning and walks 5km's every night. She's amazingly active, and eats like a horse! But even if she didn't work at it, she'd still be small. Must be nice.
Anyway, here's what I do, I eat healthy, not sure how to manage 1200 calories a day unless I bought pre-packaged meals, I try to follow the Harvard Guide to healthy eating, but it's not always easy. I can't find the energy to get up off my lazy duff so I don't exercise, period. I don't get enough sleep, but I drink 21/2 liters of water a day.
I know the exercise is something I have to make an effort at, so in the interim I would appreciate any ideas on how to curb my enormous appetite, and boost my energy levels.
Thanks for reading my bit, and I look forward to reading more of yours.
P.S. I have found that watching weight loss success stories on the discovery health channel, and reading about success stories in here helps.