Well...that little troll called "addiction" or "lack of control" or what ever name you want to call it...has showed her UGLY face again, but this time not through food. I gave up one addiction for another...and I thoght it was funny, HAHA...but it really isn't. My hubby and I are always arguing about $$, and my "impulsive" shopping habits. I have gotten way much better than in the past...But, I really can not help it. I mean, just like when I was eating compulsively.....I would get a "high" off the food...or what I thought was "control", the same things happenes to me when I shop. I never, never, never pay full price for anything (I feel like a TJ Max commercial)and I strive on getting a hellava deal, or a steal. I always rationalize it as..."it is educational" or "it is music, books, kiddos clothes" things that my hubby can not argue about. I can always make food shopping fun! It is becoming dangerous since a lot of supermarkets are becoming Super centers...and they carry everything. I even have a little trick to make the blow of the credic card statement not look so bad....I will pay the Walmart purchase half cash and half credit card. So, you know how when you have a bad day...and you typically feel better when you go shopping...that is not a good thing....because in my case, it becomes a habit. Geeze...Corporate America is jumping on the "shopaholic" bandwagon...and make Halmark cards, books, t-shirts, apparel...with the logo that screams "shopaholic"....like "Born to shop" or "When life gets tough, the tough goes shopping" lO.K....I hope you following me and see where I am going with this...
So, after spending $130.00 on Amazon.com with the intent of purchasing one thing...I have had enough. I really have a problem that I just can not snap out of. Because I am trying...and not getting anywhere My mother has always said that I can do anything I ever wanted when I put my mind to it...which is true...and I like to call that "my passion". But, I am also known to give something 150% and then drop it like a hat. You know what I mean....? I know that is a problem with discipline, and consistency....but I am working on all of that.....
So...to make a long story shorter....I made the first step to get help...I am seeing a councelor who specializes in eating disorders. Inspeaking with her today, she said that transfering one compulsion for another....is quite common...but we need to find the root of the problem. Because if it isn't food, and not shopping, it could be drugs, alcohol, sex...you name it...although hubby wouldn't mind the last compulsion...LOL. I will keep ou all posted with my progress....
Thanks for listening!