April 2022 Ups & Downs Support Thread

  • Hello and to the April 2022 Ups & Downs Support Thread! We are here to support each other through the ups & downs of weight loss, depression, and life in general. Everyone is welcome to join in!
  • Right now I am battling a depressive episode, I was diagnosed with bipolar in which I have the manic depressive form. So much has been going on , my mom is about to pass away any day now and she is only 64, I just found out that the man who I thought was my dad, isn't my dad...my sister in law passed away last month, and I am just not sure how much more I can take, everytime I start to focus on my health and myself and start doing things for myself such as exercise, healthy eating, loving myself, I get knocked back. Sorry to dump all this here but I just needed someone to talk to you, I keep telling myself using the famous words of Dory "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"
  • Welcome Mud,
    Sorry for what you are going through, many of us have similar life issues going on. All I can tell you is that not taking care of yourself isn't going to help any situation. There has to come a time when your health is your first priority. No excuse is good enough for going off program. Put one foot in front of the other and start. Being your best physically is the best way to deal with what ever life sends your way. Hang in there
  • Gone,
    Thank you and I agree, I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others, for the longest time I put myself last. That changed a few days ago.
  • alotusinthemud: Welcome to the group! I am so sorry for all you are going through right now. You don't need to apologize at all for venting here. We are here to listen and to hopefully offer you support. Although it is probably so challenging right now, taking care of yourself is so important. Maybe try to focus on one or two things you can do each day to move forward (no matter how small). Remember that it is about progress and not perfection. Some days will be better than others... and that's okay. Be patient and loving with yourself during this difficult time. You WILL get through it. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers. 🙏 Please hang in there! 💚
  • alotusinthemud, as Kathleen said, no need to apologize, this is a place where you can vent and we will listen. You have alot of sad things going on, how troubling! but yes you cannot deal with them unless you take care of yourself first I hope today is a little better for you.

    Kathleen thank you for starting the April thread!! I don't know why i didn't get the notification. Is Spring arriving for you? I hope so, it helps our mood so much! When do you start the preparations to open your lake house? How are your children?? so many question from me haha.

    Ann, I bet your weather is like ours, April is the 'tease' month. We had wet snowflakes on Sunday, and our temps have improved a bit certainly but I still don't see the ferns starting in the woods yet. Do you regularly get the really interesting trail cam images of wildlife? How are things with you and your family

    I am on my last 3 weeks of the winter office job, and I am on 3 day work weeks!! Only Tues/Wed./Thurs. thru the end of the month. I still get so frustrated and anxious about not knowing what each phone call will bring, now that I am put on all the incoming lines, Commercial, Wholesale and Canadian, instead of my usual Home Gardener. But facing reality, in the past 2 days I have managed to take those calls and either marginally helped them lol or directed (transferred) them to someone who could. And I guess that is doing fine.

    I know I've gained weight this winter, I dont even want to know the truth and step on the scale It's easy to ignore when wearing layers and layers to keep warm but those layers are gonna have to come off sometime soon. But I am still keeping up with almost daily moderate exercise with that great lady on youtube, Pahla Bee.

    Have a great day friends!
  • Holly: It was in the 30's with snow flurries here this past Tuesday, and today it was 80 degrees and gorgeous!!! That is Spring in Ohio for ya!

    My hubby has gone to the lake the past couple weekends, but I have had things to do at home, so I have not been up yet this season. The house is ready to live in, but we will need to dust and stock the fridge and cabinets for the summer when we go up sometime in the next couple weekends.

    My dad turned 93 years old today!!! My mom turned 88 on the 14th. We are so blessed to still have them both with us. ❤

    My kids are pretty good for the most part. They both struggle with depression at times, though, which breaks my heart. The therapist who my son had seen since he was about 16 or 18 (currently 26), recently retired and he is taking that pretty hard. My daughter also went to her several times in the past couple years. She is the kindest woman and was so helpful to both of them. They are in the process of getting established with new therapists. My son and his girlfriend just celebrated 6 months together. He is very happy in that relationship and I am thankful for how supportive she is of him. She is a very positive, upbeat person. My daughter has made working out her main priority right now. I wish I had half of her motivation and dedication!

    Good luck with your last few weeks at your winter office job, Holly! I assume you are returning to the Club for your regular summer job? If so, any winter weight you might have gained will fall right off when you are on your feet again all day.


    Ann: How are you? Do you have any special plans for the summer?

    alotusinthemud: Are you still here? I am thinking of you and wishing you well. 💚


  • Hello friends!

    Kathleen, first belated Happy Birthday and also merits Congratulations to your parent's birthdays! that is so wonderful that you still have them in your life ! ❤ Is their health OK? are they able to be in their own home still? or at least together at a living arrangement? So many changes in life as life goes on. I think of times when houses were just built so large, to accommodate families when they are young, and then to have parent/grandparents live with them ❤ Such different times now.


    Quote: My kids are pretty good for the most part. They both struggle with depression at times, though, which breaks my heart.
    Oh gosh yes that would break your heart!! to see your children struggling. And how disappointing to lose their wonderful therapist. I hope so much they can find trust and help with the new therapists. that takes alot of trust and time, which is so hard when one is feeling mired. best wishes to them both! and you for being the Mom!

    Wow what weather fluctuations for you! haha! I hope that the sunny warmth continues for you. Being outside helps us so much doesn't it! and when you get to enjoy the lake house, so nice.

    On Monday it was sunny and high 50's, we sat outside in t shirts. On Tuesday, we had 6" of heavy, wet snow!! It didn't last long, it was mostly gone 3 days later. But not good for morale. There is still a small lump of snow on the side of the garage that does not see afternoon sun. I want that snow gone LOL. We still don't have ferns coming up in the woods, which is one of the things that gives us hope. Our driveway is still too soft in spots to get the motorcycles out of the garage, and heck it's been in the high 20's every night and barely gotten to mid to high 50's on a couple days. Spring is so slow to arrive in New England! but I guess it gives me tons of time to pick up branches and rake.

    Yes I will be going to the Club as soon as I get the word that the water is turned back on! (probably the first week of May, or I hope) It is going to be 'interesting' with a whole new team. New Chef, new breakfast/lunch cook, waitstaff/housekeepers, dishdogs, front of the house mgr, wow. I did ask for a cost of living increase; and was told yes I would get it but I don't know how much. I will keep my expectations low and hopefully be pleasantly surprised. I also mentioned 'wage equity' as the place is run by older men who i KNOW automatically think a male chef should be paid more than a female. I am worried about my knees; they were not stressed at all this winter because of the office job. I will have to adapt back to being on my feet 8+ hour daily. I have been keeping up with moderate daily workouts but i havent done the specific knee-strengthening exercises with the resistance bands and such. But I am looking forward to enjoying my daily job again!!

    dealing with things that get me extremely down / depressed, I still can get extremely frustrated and sometimes angry at the clutter here, that items are bought; not put away correctly; then I put them somewhere so I don't trip over or see them in the living room for months; then when those items are wanted, they can't be found, and MORE are bought. Or that tote bins are full of stuff from 15 years ago. And stacked haphazardly in rooms that I would like to DO something in (our son's former bedrooms) I have had days when it just 'hits' me and I sneakily throw that sh*t out. I haven't been caught yet I know my husband would like things to be able to be found instead of buying more. Mostly home improvement stuff. I see the problem that the items not properly put somewhere correctly as they are bought. Sure it would be freaking great to have all kinds of rooms for storage but that is not reality and we have to deal with the reality we have. I might be able to cling to some hope, that he hopes to retire next year. Boy will I have "To Do" lists ready when that happens lol. To not sound like I am a horrible nagger, I hardly ever say anything about the situation. I have offered to do the work with him (which I think is pretty magnaminous of me, since I had nothing to do with the building of the horrible mess) I offer to go through piece-by-piece; I offer to carry the heavy stuff, I offer to take the outdated electronic sh*t to the free recycle place. I would do alot of that on my own, just to get it done, but I admit I do not know the difference of what to save when it comes to electronics, especially things with sensitive info on them. OK done venting for now

    I do try to practice gratitude as much as I can. I have always hated my thick lumpy legs. Well, at least I have legs . and they work. Feel ashamed of our dumpy house...well we have a house and the mortgage was paid off 5 years ago. Stuff like that.

    thank you for the vent session!!!! My captive audience
  • Hey friends, I have to share that today is my last day at the office job for the season! You helped me with your advice and concern and support, thank you so much. So many day to work with a stomachache, and literally forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other to go there. Had my review yesterday (scale 1 - 4) and it was all 3's for technical and 4's for soft skills; And I have a solid spot there for next winter.

    We got snow flurries overnight and it is white out there again ugh!! April is the cruel month in New England!

    have a good day friends!!
  • Holly: Congratulations on completing your last day at your winter office job and for your great review! I hope you are so proud of yourself! You may have had stomach aches and had to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other... but YOU DID IT!!! I am happy to hear that you have a solid spot there for next winter.

    In your previous post, you asked about my parents (now 93 and 88). They still live alone together in the house where I was born and raised. Thankfully, their health is generally good for people their ages. I think I've mentioned here before, my Dad still walks on the treadmill every day for 20 minutes. Unfortunately, my Mom doesn't exercise. She stayed very active before Covid, but has stayed mostly at home for the past two years, so that has taken a bit of a toll on her. We bought her one of those little mini "bikes" that you pedal while sitting on your couch watching tv as an alternative to the treadmill, but she barely ever does that either. I worry about her. I worry about both of them.

    Wow! It sounds like you have had crazy weather, too! I cant even imagine 6" of snow right now! I hope the warm, sunny weather will find its way to you soon.

    I wish you the best with a whole new team at your summer job. I hope at least some of the others will be hard workers like you. That makes such a difference. And yes, let's hope and pray that your knees stay strong when you are back on your feet all day.

    I'm so sorry that the clutter situation in your home is still a source of depression, frustration, and anger for you. I know first hand that it can put a lot of stress on the relationship at times. Hang in there... and keep adding to that "to do" list for when your hubby retires!

    I like your examples of practicing gratitude. Focusing on my blessings instead of my challenges makes such a difference, but I so often forget this simple practice. Thank you for that reminder, Holly. I think I need to begin a gratitude journal again.


    Ann: Hello! Hope all is well with you!

    🌷HAPPY MAY!🌷
  • Holly, glad the job is over but I hope you take it as a new tool in your tool box, lots of new programs and processes. Yes April is cruel in NE and May can be a fickle B as well, I have had frosts and snow in May many times. Grass is growning and greening, I will be mowing this week!
    Life has been busy, we just got back from a trip to Sleepy Hollow NY, hit all the historic and touristy places and got great pics of the dogs. Glad to be back home, I am still exhausted from the driving
  • Started our May thread here https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/new...newthread&f=76
  • Kathleen thank you for starting the April thread!! I don't know why i didn't get the notification. Is Spring arriving for you? I hope so, it helps our mood so much! When do you start the preparations to open your lake house? How are your children?? so many question from me haha.

    Ann, I bet your weather is like ours, April is the 'tease' month. We had wet snowflakes on Sunday, and our temps have improved a bit certainly but I still don't see the ferns starting in the woods yet. Do you regularly get the really interesting trail cam images of wildlife? How are things with you and your family

    I am on my last 3 weeks of the winter office job, and I am on 3 day work weeks!! Only Tues/Wed./Thurs. thru the end of the month. I still get so frustrated and anxious about not knowing what each phone call will bring, now that I am put on all the incoming lines, Commercial, Wholesale and Canadian, instead of my usual Home Gardener. But facing reality, in the past 2 days I have managed to take those calls and either marginally helped them lol or directed (transferred) them to someone who could. And I guess that is doing fine.
  • Your work is appreciated.