Person telling me not to eat stuff?

  • I’ve been posting stuff about my weight loss on Facebook. A lot of my friends do it. I also will post stuff about unhealthy foods. Mostly like reviews.

    This one women has been saying things like “you just got skinny, don’t go overboard” or “moderation!” And one time she said “don’t eat so many cookies.”

    It was really rude. One of my other friends on Facebook chewed her out really good on one of my posts where she commented. So she hasn't said anything else. I also have been watching what I post.

    Why would she talk to me like that? Has this happened to anyone else?

    I’m going to give her some time. But I may have to block her/delete her.
  • If you put yourself out out there, there will always be critizicers and toxic people. You choose who is in your life, and if you don't like those kind of comments when you're being you - delete them! On the other hand, you can always have a blanket statement that you throw out there such as "I've done well so far, I know what I'm doing and what works for me. Please don't tell me what to do with my eating habits."

    On the other hand, if you are asking at all for advice or are insecure about your plans, people will comment and offer advice. It's up to you to let them know it's not needed otherwise they will continue to give it.
  • I think if you want something to be private, don't post it in social media. If you really want to post but don't want comments, then lock the post so no one can comment. But I think if you post something on social media and leave it open for comments, you need to accept that some people are going to post things you don't like. She may have seen her "cookies" comment as being a helpful suggestion, whereas you took it as rude. Different people have different thresholds for what is ok and what isn't. I have one friend that often posts stuff on politically charged issues, and no matter what anyone says- whether they agree or disagree, whatever, she always "likes" their post and I have never seen her ever get into an argument with anyone. She genuinely appreciates all points of view. But she's a rare one. Most people really just want to be validated, and don't want anyone to post anything they disagree with or that comes across as judgmental, regardless of the motivation of the person that posted it.
  • That is aggravating but I agree that if you post something to social media, people assume it’s there to receive comments. I don’t comment on people’s social media posts about their gym checkins (which I know gyms pressure people to do sometimes to receive points, ugh) or what healthy meal they just prepared. I feel like they are often just posting it for themselves for accountability and because they are proud of the accomplishment.

    Have you thought about posting those types of statuses to the “Only me” option?
    I use that a lot for things I want to keep track of that isn’t intended for others.
    For example, when I check in to a nice restaurant and want to record as a memory. No one needs to know where my date and I are.

    Or if you believe some of your followers are interested in weight loss, just switch the setting so only that group of ppl see it.
  • Quote: Why would she talk to me like that? Has this happened to anyone else?
    I’m going to give her some time. But I may have to block her/delete her
    I think she might be trying to help in her own way. I hear you though. I have a male co worker who comes to see what i have for lunch each day and keeps trying to get me to go to the healthy place with him. Subtle.
  • It is rude. Very. IMO post whatever you feel comfortable with. Then, if she comments something odd again, either delete her comment and only hers (perhaps with a corresponding PM), or respond accordingly. "Don't eat so many cookies!" "I'll eat as many cookies as I feel necessary, thanks." You could also add a disclaimer to your posts: "I'm not looking for advice, just support. Thanks in advance!" or something like that.
  • It's like posting politics on your FB page. No matter what - there will be someone who says something personal. So I've taken to blocking those people off those particular posts (as I do like them otherwise) as opposed to defriending them.