YAY RUBENS!!!!!!

Will post more from work (which has, incidentally, been kicking my butt these last couple days, hence my absence), but please Rubens keep it up!! You're making me feel twinges of guilt. Scheduling, planning - these are my friends and I keep allowing too many distractions pull me away from that.

WTG Girl!!

Alrighty...today was a good day. I was busy so food was not on my mind much. I drank good amounts of water and NO soda...not even a diet.

Food was as follows:
B: 2 pieces lowfat maple turkey sausage, egg beater omelete.
L: Left over picadillo, one slice light bread.
Snack: Power crunch bar
D: Blackeyed peas and soyrizo with tomatoes. One slice turkey breast.

I took my supplements and am about to go in and exercise on the gym for 20 minutes. Tonight is lower body. I plan on hitting the sack early tonight cause I MUSt get on a better morning routine for when my Pilates DVD gets here. I want to do them in the AM and then the machine at night.

Overall today was a good one, but it rained alot too and kept it steamy outside most of the day.

Ok off to my journal, then hitting the machine!!!!!

Well I felt the twinge of discouragment today. I weighed and have not lost a thing..... I am up a pound!!!! I really don't get it. How much less do I have to eat people!!!!! I mean this is really rediculous and I really do not understand it at all. The Hub lost three more pounds (total of 12 now) and is eating like a pig and drinking soda. I am pissed and baffled. Even IF I were building muscle, I cannot have gained that soon. I am perplexed and want to be depressed, but I am too mad!!!!! I need to step back and re-focus.....

Ok. I'm back. Mentally, too. These last couple weeks have felt like a waking dream, I'm afraid. I think my poor little psyche just went into major retreat when the tickets were purchased and the trip to AK became a reality. Of course it retreated into food. What else?

I feel a lot better today, though. Drinking my water, got my healthy choice lunches, brought my yogurt, oatmeal, and carrots. It never ceases to amaze me how totally crappy, old, achy, and decrepit I feel when I'm eating junk and not working out. Now I just need to get moving again, and I know I'll feel SO much better.

Thank you all for your kind words about my Dad. I appreciate it more than you know.

I'm faced with losing the weight I put on over the last couple weeks of being totally off plan. I put on 3 pounds, which is frustrating, but not devastating.

Stayed OP yesterday, didn't drink quite enough water, but it wasn't bad. Today, still OP and planning to work out tomorrow morning, even if it's just a small one. Not sure whether it will be cardio, pilates, or weights. Flip a coin??

Rubens - Girl, where did you go? Don't tell me you got so discouraged that you aren't posting! You said you needed to step back and refocus... have you re-evaluated what you're doing?

Ok babes. I have had a hades of a few days. Sunday was a bust as far as dieting or anything remotely positive about it.

As far as yesterday. I was OP and walked so I am back on track. We have had so much going on at work that things have been so hectic that by the end of the day I am wasted and find time to just wind down let alone jump online. I went to the doctor yesterday and had a good meeting. And we had a luncheon thing at my other job. I saw a couple of my friends there that are on Weight Watchers and are having good success with it.

I have also decided that I am not going to weigh again until 2 weeks. So I will not weigh in this Friday even though I will want to and the Hub will I am sure.

I am still feeling very frustrated and still cannot figure out what is going on. I spoke to the doctor about it and he said that he feels I should try something very different than what I have been doing to see if it kickstarts anything.

I am going for my walk now...since its the second night in a row where it is not raining. The only thing I can figure with not losing is that I need more cardio. I am off the fitness machine for these 'test' two weeks, since I want a loss of some kind and muscle weight can throw it off. I also measured everything incase there is a size loss and not a scale loss. My pilates DVD sould be here anyday, so I will let you all know how that goes too.

Well off to walk!!!!! I hope everyone else is doing great!!!

Hugs to you gals!!!

Hey Rubens *hug* - I know how you feel about needing to see some kind of reflection of loss on the scale. I'm fighting that one myself. I think it's better to use the measuring tapes, though. Or at the very least, use them in conjunction with the scale. I know that when I was lifting regularly, I gained weight, and gained it fast. It was frustrating, to say the least. But I was also losing inches, and a lot of them.

But I was so determined to see a loss on the scale, that I stopped lifting. Alright - so I did see a pounds loss. Quite a large one, compared to what I'd been doing. BUT my pants started to be tighter, and honestly, I looked fatter. My belly stuck out more, my arms jiggled more, all over I was just looking flabbier. I think the thing about building muscle is that it takes time to see the offset of muscle gained to fat lost. Especially if you're like me, and build muscle quickly. I have decided I'm going to lift, and to heck with the numbers. Now, to be realistic, I did find that upping the intensity of my cardio really did help the numbers to move. So I think the consistent application of both is the key for me.

Now I just have to start getting to bed early enough to get up by 4:30 to have time to do it!!! I need more hours in the day!

Yesterday was a booger for me because it was my BFs birthday. It wasn't really too bad until we got to the yummy french bread with dinner and the cherry cheesecake pie for dessert. *sigh*

Today, back OP - but BF is taking me out to dinner on Saturday night and I will *not* be watching the calories, I can pretty much guarantee that. I know I'm eating my anxiety still - perhaps not to the same extent that I was, but ... when I get back from AK I'm really going to have to crack down or I'm going to end up gaining back all the weight I've lost!! Can't have that.

Thanks Raven for the persepctive. You are right about the muscle/fat thing and I KNOW that. I hate to admit it, but I think some of my frustration is stemmed from some jelousy issues with the Hub and cousin. I want quick results like they have (one is a man and is indeed working hard to lose) (the other had WLS). It is truly awful how the mind messes with us.

Anyway I know the feeling about getting up early. I am SWAMPED with work right now and it has me nuts. I have something like 20 hours of work left on some legal reports and half of them MUST be done by end of today. I am freaking just a little. <----- all this work is the ONLY reason I have not been able to be online. I have been eating OP. well until last night when we went to chinese. I was very picky though and feel I did ok, but I am feeling bloated today. Today is weigh day, but I am going to skip it. the last thing I need is to be frustrated with work AND POed at the same time.

I hope all goes well with everyone!!!! (((hugs)))

Well the 10th was a perfectly OP day, it went beautifully except that I was up WAY too late out at the stables helping Rosa with one of her pups who had blown out her stitches after her spay. This, of course, meant that yesterday I was totally exhausted. I was running on too little sleep before that, and yesterday I was zombie lady. I know that when I am miserably overtired, I make horrid food choices. Yesterday was no exception. I did better than I could have, but I have to credit that to the vending machine running out of Snickers bars, not to my own willpower. So I had one Snickers bar yesterday afternoon, then made a lovely chicken bruschetta for dinner - and followed it up with 2 slim-a-bears. Duh. I did, however, manage to get to bed at an almost reasonable time. I feel a lot better today, and hopefully that will be reflected in my eating.

I am not losing, but I am not gaining. At this point, until I get back from Alaska, that is my primary goal, I think. I thought I could get the focus before my trip, but my anxiety is very high, and I'm just not making it. So I need to be realistic about this, and just try to make each day as close to OP as possible, and maintain. That I believe I can do. I find myself far too close to tears every waking moment lately. And even joy and beauty can cause it. It's not depression, it's just an overflow of emotion. I feel blessed beyond words, and at the same time, filled with pain for my father. Ah, introspection.

I've noticed that chinese food just kills me sodium-wise. It's not bad on the calories, at least the stuff I eat, but I'm usually up in pounds for at least 2 days afterwards.

I hope you get caught up and have time to take a breather. We are all far too busy lately!!

Hey Raven and Ruben!

Sounds like the two of you are having a rough time this week.
Don't lose heart you can do this

I find that even when I am not losing I try to gage how I feel physically, sometimes it's a measuring tape and if I feel healthier rather than what the &%$# scale is saying that keeps me going.

Raven- I have decided to forego the Chinese food for a while- everytime I eat Chinese I gain 1 -2 lbs that week!

As you pointed out, it must be the sodium and for me it is also the carb overload of rice and noodles so that is it for me for a while until I start losing some of this wieght again.

Hope you both have a good weekend

I am tired...soooo pooping tired. I can't belive the amount of work I have staring me in the face. I need about 6 more hours in a day. I have had my nose in medical, path, and surgical manuals for 3 days and have typed over 50 reports. I am about typed out.

As far as dieting, I am not eating bad, but I am not eating well either. I have yet to crack open the Pilates DVD. I have another week of this workload and I will have time to refocus on the dieting again. I can't belive I am this overweight and so dang busy!!! It it almost like a joke of some kind!! I have no time to do much walking or weights or anything until i get the workload off my hands. One thing is for sure. I will NOT get myself into this load ever again. I allowed someone to shove their problems on me and this is what I get. Yes I am getting paid for it, but at a sacrifice for me. I keep thinking that it happened for a reason, maybe to get my drive back after being so ticked off the other week....I am not sure, but I want my time back for ME. I miss the focus.

Raven when are you going to Alaska?

well I hope all are doing well!!! tata for now. back to the grindstone..got another 80 reports to do.

This sounds like a great challenge!
Starting time---um,.....now?

Starting weight---166#
Goal---115# (don't yell---I'm very short)

Method---Walking 1 to 1-1/2 hrs. per day, and 1 hr. of yoga per day.

Eating ----pretty much vegetarian with a tiny bit of fish rarely. Trying to quit dairy and eggs. Sticking to nuts and beans for protein. Emphasis on eating MINDFULLY and slowly.

Cool thing is, I can use the bubble wrap I shed to wrap things and send to my son at college!

North to Alaska

Today is the day. I just wanted to make a quick post.. take a few deep breaths and I'm gone. I'll be back in a little over a week, and hopefully I'll be ready to get my mind refocussed.

Thank you ladies for your caring and kindness. Rubens... Keep the faith, woman, and I'll be back soon!! *hug*

Hope you enjoy your trip Raventoy!!