Hi all, this is actually my first post but I have been lurking around here for ages!
This site/forum is always special to me, whenever I am on my "weightloss" mode I always come here for inspirations (for the last 15 years!!! Ha)
Anyways, long story short, I have lost close to 70 pounds (I am 5'2,from 197 lbs to 129Lbs ) slowly over 2.5 years, with clean eating, and mostly calorie counting, not so much with exercise (I do go swimming a few times a week in the summer). I don't consider myself at goal yet, I'd like to lose another 18-20 pounds, or with a 25-26 inch waist, then I'll be happy (maybe?!). But when I tell my friend about this, they always say I am out of my mind that I should be happy with how skinny I am now, that I should not lose anymore weight. Many of my friends said I don't look my weight at all (thinner or fat, they are always shocked at how much I actually weight). I do think I am a little obsessive about my weight... But I guess it's what it takes for me to lose so much weight!?
The dark side of me often wonders, do my skinner friends (I am the heaviest among my friends all my life) think I should be grateful now that I am no longer fat? That I should be content with being smaller, but I could never be as skinny as they are?? I know I should not care about people's comment and just be what I wanna be, but it bugs me everytime I hear them say "you are skinny enough", while they weight about 100 lbs and still say they need to lose weight....
Honestly, I never thought I would be so negative (or bitter) when I have lost all this weight. There are so many unexpected issues came with this weightloss and I just find myself more and more depressed about so many things in life.... Funny how I was okay with myself 70 pounds ago but I find the slightest flaw in me now more then ever.
Thank you for anyone who reads this, it's such a long post!