I used to have fun. Be less stressed. Less focused...less white knuckled. Sometimes too much knowledge can be paralyzing. Cals in/ cals out....workouts. Weights.
I resorted to wearing my bodymedia armband and checking it several times a day...adjusting my cals to fit....adjusting macros.
Sure some of that can be just fine...but I've become obsessive. It's been crippling. Every morning on my computer while I have my coffee is spent searching for the "right" mix. I've dropped low cal...taken breaks at TDEE....back down, 25% cut, 1k deficit, 500 deficit.....only the scale isn't moving.
I've lost 70 lbs...40 ish to go. I KNOW how to lose weight....I just don't know how to relax...which is clearly a roadblock. I give advice all the time about the scale...yet don't take my own.
So yesterday, I decided, enough is enough. I'm going to lighten up....relax. think about my journey and not the end game. Control the things I can control, and let the rest go. Took off the armband. Logged off of MFP. Picked up my WW paper tracker and relaxed. I'm still me. I have other interests though I can't remember what they were.....LOL
If you don't believe in cortisol (and other hormones that can tank things for you while trying to lose weight), trust me when I say it's real.
I just thought I'd post something to give others who might be going through this, too, a nudge that you're not alone.
Today....hanging with friends. Lunch out and tarot cards on the agenda. An over all fun fun day. And then, dinner and tv with my honey tonight. And maybe some wine.
Also, I'm giving up the scale for a while. It's not helping me....not at all.