Awe, pitselah big
to you. My guess is that if you polled everyone who is part of 3FC you will find that nearly all of us have felt this way at one time or another. Don't be so hard on yourself. We all fall off the wagon. I think the important thing is picking yourself back up and starting again. Three years ago I was 50 pounds lighter. Romance issues, job promotion, ailing parent who passed away this year, and other things led to a level of stress and exhaustion I hadn't experienced before. I can relate to what you're going through: still tired, clothes snug or don't fit, and seeking comfort in food. But I haven't given up. In the past I did and quite easily.
I can't speak to bingeing and won't even try as that has never been an issue to me. The only thing I suggest is discussing this with a doctor, a trusted doctor who will listen, if you haven't already done so.
Regarding eating and just living in general: can you do something positive that will make you feel good every day? It doesn't have to be big to matter. Maybe it's not about counting calories right now. Maybe it's one good food choice. Years ago I had a roommate who wasn't overweight but didn't care much for vegetables, decide that she would eat 1 serving of vegetables every day. Nothing else changed and this is a lady who is a big time sugar lover. But she did it. For you it may be something like that. Or it might be a 10 minute walk or drinking all your water. Maybe it's eating dessert (or whatever your favorite thing is) every other day instead of every day. The fact that you came to the conclusion that bingeing would make you feel worse than better was an excellent, empowered choice!
How's the home life? I ask because maybe the good choice you make today doesn't center on food. Procrastination is in my blood. Every time I do something immediately instead of waiting makes me feel good and reduces my stress level. Reduced stress usually leads to me making better nutrition choices.
Stop focusing on the 130 pound number. I truly think that looking at the total number sabotages us in so many ways. Kaplods, one of the most prolific and logical posters to 3FC has stated that she focuses on 1 pound at a time, and when that one is gone, she focuses on the next pound. At any given time it's just 1 pound. BTW, I'd do a search of Kaplods' postings as she's written some wonderful pieces and really keeps this weight loss stuff in perspective.
Finally, you have a lot of support here at 3FC. Peruse the boards. Get chatting on some of the conversations that interest you. Keep asking questions and keep learning from all the collective wisdom that's here.