Vickie - No one is too old. I meant to post this in a general forum anyway and got a bit lost on the site. Plus, everyone loves grandmas!
Thank you everyone for the support and advice. I think I just got a big shock as I've been big before and lost weight and it took me so long and was so hard, and now I've actually put it all back on plus more without even realising it. I have always had body image issues as well, there are no mirrors in my house (except the bathroom) because I don't like looking at my reflection. Even when I was at a healthy 150 pounds just 2 years ago I didn't want to see myself, I just have my own demons there.
I have about 60 pounds to lose but I don't want to make it about a number because that's wrecking my head. My long term goal is to look good in a wedding dress in about 18 months time and I'll come up with some short term goals too. A quantum scale sounds like an excellent idea for me actually, thanks kisskiss! And thanks Ian, it's a good way of thinking to know that it will come off faster at first, I think if I can see some losses early on it will help me stay motivated. I'm feeling very good and positive about this again, it's too important to me to just lay down and be defeated.