Tootsie: I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to answer. He is willing to watch the kids when I go to the gym, but for no more than 1/2 hour. So, much of the exercise will have to be done at home. I live abroad. My family is in the US. So, there isn't really anyone other than him who can watch the kids. His family is here, but his sister works and his parents travel quite often. My sister seems to feel that he is afraid I will leave if I succeed. I don't think that is the issue, but she thinks that while he may want me to lose, he likes the fact that no one pays attention to me the way I am now. If I think back to the way he was when I had gotten off a significant amount, he did act differently and I did get attention. I Am not sure though if it was due to my level of confidence increasing. The "sabotaging" behavior did increase the smaller I got. But, then it was much easier to withstand because I had made so much progress. In the beginning stages, it is significantly harder. I was more able to I've also talked to him about separating our foods. He thinks it is silly. It is fine. I saw the nutritionist on wednesday and was given a 1200cal diet to follow. I haven't mentioned it to him and won't. I'll just let him think i've given up.

Magpie: He has always been this way. I don't know if it is cultural or if my sister is right. In any case, I need to do this with or without his support. I don't want to look back a year from now and think that I should have just stuck to it.

Penny: You are right. I've decided to not look at the overall picture, but rather split it into managable more easily attainable sections.

Okay. 1/2 hour is plenty of time for weight training, so that is good. Cardio can be done at home. I think that I may've mentioned Leslie Sansone's videos to you, but in case I didn't, check them out. They're really nice for when the weather isn't great. There are many of them on YouTube.

It's fairly common for guys to feel threatened. What he doesn't get is that if you want to leave, it doesn't have to be with someone else. You could leave just as you are, and there is no stopping you. He needs to worry about things that he can control, not you.

In time, the difficulty of withstanding foods gets a little easier. I find that I have a few trigger foods, and I just ignore them. I don't limit myself. I allow myself junk in moderation, but I do not let the trigger foods pass my lips. I can eat a whole pan of brownies for instance, so I just don't give myself a chance to.

We're all here to support you. Hoping that you start feeling better soon with a better diet and exercise routine.

We're rooting for you, weightloss73! You can do this, with or without his help.

I love Leslie Sansone! She's so positive and encouraging! The other thing I've been doing is searching YouTube for "Zumba warm-up" and trying to keep up with songs I like. (You might be fitter than I am. If you are, you don't have to limit yourself to warm-ups!)

Thanks everyone.

Tootsie - I found a 2 mile walk full video of hers on youtube (thank you for the recommendation). I'll be starting it this afternoon.

Thank you :-). I need all of the support I can get.

The magpie - Thank you :-)
I will look up zumba videos as well. I am a bit intimidated by them from what i've seen on tv. I'm hardly fit with bad knees. There are also some zumba classes here that I have looked into, but will only try when I get to a certain weight (more about not getting hurt than being embarrassed).

He'll only watch the kids for 30 minutes??????? Does he realize that he is a parent, not a babysitter?

I have to admit that I could never be married to an unsupportive husband who is unwilling to share life's responsibilities equally. Marriage should be an equal partnership.

This man is probably a big part of your depression and you should be disgusted with him, not yourself.

Many women who divorce men like this suddenly find themselves much happier and the weight loss easier.

I would sit him down and give him a list of expectations:
He is to keep junk food somewhere you don't see it
You will be exercising however long you wish and he is to be available to care for his children for that time
He is to support you in your weight loss

If he fails this, I urge you to consider whether he is the type of partner you want to continue to spend your life with. You deserve to be with someone who treats you well.

Keep your chin up!! My working sister is thin, am the only one is way overweight. She buys chips, cookies and cheesecakes only for her..but I know how tough to resist. You are not alone and Its your efforts to say NO..stock up the fridge with veggies, and your low calorie snacks.

Hang in there..and Never Give Up!! YOU are worth it than the junk foods...

Weight loss: Congrats on your efforts so far!

Thank you everyone. I'm sorry that my responses are so delayed. I've been busy with the kids. So far things are going pretty well. I haven't started the gym yet, but plan to as soon as AF is over (sorry TMI). Nothing has changed on the husband front, but i'm getting support from health officials and message boards. I weighed in last week and while still the same weight, there is no gain. Which is a good thing. I am feeling motivated again.

I agree with beginme, your husband is behaving like a spoiled child. NOT like a husband. He is jealous of other men, doesn't want you to have confidence in yourself, doesn't want you to lose weight and is bringing home all the food that will trip you up, on purpose. On top of that, he won't watch his own children for more than a half an hour. I'd kick him to the curb if my husband acted like that with me. And don't say its cultural differences because my husband and I come from two different countries and he has plenty of respect for me and treats me with dignity. He opens cardoors for me, he opens doors for me, he takes care of my family. You deserve so much more.

Be strong and lose the weight. You can do it! We all believe in you!

weightloss,

I am so sorry to hear about your less than supportive system at home, but I hope that you are taking time to treat yourself gently and respect every little effort you make.

The biggest thing that has helped me deal with my cravings is to:
1) Make sure I'm eating on a regular schedule. A bigger lunch or breakfast might influence me to eat one less snack, but when I've got a plan (B/Snack/L/S/D), I know the good stuff is coming and try to be patient with myself. If I wait too long between meals, I get this crazy, panicy, "must eat ALL the foods" feeling and tend to binge.

2) Tuning into my hunger. This means both listening to my body when it comes to satiation levels (am I full?), as well as when it comes to cravings (Am I hungry/stressed/tired? Did I just see a commercial/other trigger/situation that makes me feel like I "need" or "should have" this food?). Sometimes, if I'm not sure, I'll have a cup of tea, wait 20 minutes, then ask again. If it's a calorie dense food, I might pull out a single portion, then focus on how much I'm really enjoying it. In general, my motto is "If it isn't damn good, it's not worth my time and energy".

I recently started using the app TwoGrand to track my food intake. I don't count calories, but seeing pictures of your food is a very powerful motivator and learning tool. In addition, you can find other people on the app with similar behaviors (i.e., calorie counting), exercises (runners, swimmers, and so on), current weight, diseases (diabetes, PCOS, you name it), diet styles (THM, low carb, vegetarian - anything really). Once you find those people, you can follow the foods that they track and get ideas of what might work for you (and just plain be inspired). I find it to be a very supportive community.

As for gym-less exercise, I used to do online videos, modified as I saw fit (i.e., regular lunges at a slower pace, rather than jumping lunges; taking down the tempo of a suggested exercise; doing half the reps). When I was also eating in a way that makes me feel energized, I started losing weight with that method.

I really hope that something in this post is helpful to you, and I wish you the absolute best with your journey!